Maybe, maybe not

Feels good to vent on here lately. Gotta think out loud some way to work the thoughts out and examine them.

Never expecting others to agree with me. Hell, I don’t always agree with me.  lol

I don’t know what the future holds. The optimistic side (if I can call it that) within is keen on keeping an open mind about unforeseen variables. Nada es impossible. Though, it’s not clear how we figure that shit’s going to change for the better while we’re not paying close attention. Not on the day-to-day political back-and-forth shenanigans necessarily — just in trying to gain a better understanding of where we as a nation have come from; what history in general (assuming one can locate a morsel of genuine history) has to teach us humans; what our psychologies involve; what social trends over the last century or two have pushed society to where it stands currently, etc., etc.

Instead so often we choose to entertain ourselves to death. I know I’m guilty of this. Which is kind of understandable for those of us who don’t kids and thereby don’t feel as invested in the future of this country (gene pool ends here). Hard to imagine not wanting to learn about this life. It’s frickin’ fascinating. Even while acknowledging America cruising toward becoming an Orwellian/Huxleyan totalitarian state (as we’ve seen on the horizon for years).

Hell, my Papa assured me as a teen that a civil war will occur during my lifetime. Was he right? Who knows? Guess we’ll find out.

People like Mike Cernovich are right in some ways too (much as I used to not like the guy, I’ve found his twitter feed worth reading in the last couple of months). Some finessing could be done on the part of Republicans. As with the supreme court nomination — he’s probably right that the Christian woman would’ve been a better (and more qualified) selection for the position. Plus, it would’ve been the politically strategic move if we’re back up and look at how much easier she would’ve been to try to defend in the court of public opinion right about now. Yeah, I get how that can seem like kowtowing to Democrats, but you’re not talking about selecting a Democratic candidate, just one who wouldn’t be treated like a lightning rod for Leftist projections (i.e., a white, pro-life man who attended Yale). Is that fair? Well, that depends. Am I suggesting white men deserve to be overlooked? No, not necessarily, but we are a multiracial society and there undeniably is a lot of resentment at this point in history toward how much power white men have wielded in high positions of this country up until now. That’s just a fact. Women (generally speaking) are pissed off at men (especially white men). Black folks have their grievances. Hispanics have theirs too. As do Native Americans. Legitimate concerns even.

Power’s about to be transferred one way or another. Accusations of racism and sexism are all the rage right now, as we all know. And there are so many balls moving at all times — so much to keep up with, so many battles to fight. I wasn’t keeping up with supreme court picks and wouldn’t even be aware of all this drama if not for becoming a Twitter addict since the summer, so I’m not familiar with the lady in question or how she stacks up against Kavanaugh. No clue. Just sayin’. If she was equally qualified then Trump could’ve saved the public a headache by going with her instead. Instead we’re caught up in a neverending she said/he said contest dating back to 35 years ago, resulting in people who only skim headlines assuming Kavanaugh to be a schmuck. That’s not right and that’s not fair if he’s innocent. He probably didn’t need this headache either.

But when it was Clarence Thomas it was possible to garner a bunch of public support because he was a black conservative man. Identity politics at play, sure, but how is it to be avoided, especially now compared to back then? From what little I know of him he sounds like a good judge, so he deserved to be defended (assuming he was innocent of the allegations made).

That’s the other thing: we’re talking about sexual assault and harassment here. These are most difficult cases to prove typically. So much occurs behind closed doors that others are not and cannot be privy to directly. Even if you talk to someone afterward, it’s still one’s word. Unless the act is caught on camera, what proof really exists (except where great physical violence was done)? These are tricky matters that get me thinking about Orwell’s book Nineteen-Eighty-Four where he describes the sexes divided, behaving hostilely toward one another. What sex they engage in imitates rape because all romantic bonds have long-since been broken. Hence why it was such a big deal that Winston and Julia decided to steal time away together in private and learned to love one another. That was forbidden. They were tortured on account of it. This is what I’m pointing at when harping on about how sex segregation (pushed by “MGTOWs,” Muslims and some feminists alike) being such a bad idea. And yet…

Do you see what I see?

An intentionally antagonistic situation is brewing that is being actively stoked and encouraged by mainstream media and university departments. Race and sex are at the forefront. People are buying into some of it because they’re indoctrinated, but also part of it because some of the rhetoric is true. Or at least it’s not completely wrong. Leaving aside what can’t be done about the past. We’re confronting a bunch of ideologues (with more on the way) who are utterly obsessed with ushering in a more “equal” arrangement. Granted, I understand that much of what we see is coming across as outright discriminatory against white men — true. But here we stand today. People are at least tired of seeing the same old, same old, whether they’re going to wind up with it in terms of politics as usual or not.

Mike Cernovich brought up a good point about how some of these folks view Trump literally as Hitler. Yes, that’s bizarre, especially considering Obama was just as bad, as were the Clintons, as were the Bushes, etc. He’s a continuation on an old theme, though it looks a bit different since he’s from the business world and is best known through tabloids and television shows. But that’s what they’ve convinced themselves of, so they’re going to fight dirty ever chance they get in response. That’s what you do if you honestly think you’re fighting fascism. Are they deluded? I think so, but my reasoning can’t penetrate most of them. Tried plenty in the past and failed.

(As an aside, I’m coming to take Jonathan Haidt’s words in his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion more seriously with each passing day. Our values stack up differently. Leftists place more emphasis on the “care/harm” value whereas conservatives embrace a wider and more equally distributed set of values. Plus, we’re driven by our emotions first, reasoning/rationality second.)

It does help to try to understand where one another is coming from, at least generally speaking and so far as we’re able. Are Leftists taking much time to try to comprehend conservatives? No, I’d say more honest investigation actually runs in the other direction. But still. Know Thyself. Then know your enemies.

Not sure if we’re taking this one to the streets, considering how the most vocal activists on the Left tend to live on the West and East coasts, leaving the Midwest and South with the densest populations of conservatives. We’re living apart for the most part, at least in terms of our most radical fringes, though also in regards to our neighborhoods/communities too — so that much of our discourse can’t help but take place online (aside from the years we encounter each other on college campuses or in schools). Hence why censorship online is such incredible BULLSHIT and deserves our attention and push-back. THAT’s a concern we need to focus on, not whether a guy pulled his dick out back in college (who didn’t? Ugh! It’s like fighting air!).

And yet we get swept up like it’s the Macarena every. single. time. We fall for drama so easily. Hard not to get caught up in it. They certainly have our number and know how to distract us well.

Gotta train ourselves to keep our eyes on more important matters. Bitching at one another gets us where? So many act like they’re scared of the System, yet they want to try to use this System to usher in what changes they want to see. So we all fight and squabble and vote and conduct our “2-minutes of hate” ritual on the regular, and what happens? That System we’re all worried about continues growing, continues doing whatever it ultimately wants regardless of what pressure we the people put on it in our fragmented state. Not winning. Just being manipulated and lied to and tossed a carrot every once in a while to occupy us for a spell.

We’re easily played. Truth be told.

What can be done about this? Well, we can try to boil down what matters most and focus there primarily. Freedom of speech, of a free press, and to assemble as we choose are numero uno priorities to me. Because without that, we got nothing. That goes for ALL of us. Across the board. If we can’t even defend that then we might as well hang it up. We’re done as a country and should get ready for a new totalitarian reality since it’s right around the bend. Are things going to get worse before they get better? Oh yes. Hence why it’s so shocking to me how many folks out there don’t seem super worried about any of this and are contentedly going about their lives and watching their ballgames as if nothing is happening. Blows my mind.

That’s just it. Maybe that’s where we are and we’re just struggling to come to terms with it. For nearly two decades we constantly hear people talk about needing to wake others up, and this is as far as we’ve gotten in 2018. I try really hard not to get too down about it, to accept that humans have a penchant for needing to learn every goddamn thing the hard way. C’est la vie. Somehow have to forgive ourselves for this enduring folly. But perhaps this is precisely why empires always fall and always will: the people turn soft and grow more concerned with raiding the public coffer than actually upholding fundamental principles. So, down Rome topples. Maybe it can’t be any other way. Bread and circuses stole the show. Comfort and ease lulled us into such a deep sleep that some would prefer to live in a virtual reality if it meant keeping that dream going. Scientism and transhumanism have taken hold in our collective imaginations, leading people to relax into the dream that technology will eventually set it all right.

Are we a bunch of cowards? Probably. What are we about? Relatively petty shit most often. Are more going to wake up? Likely not until it’s too late. Humans like to dwell in the stream of least resistance. Some will ride that their whole lives if you let them. (Hence why universal basic income doesn’t sound like such a good idea.)

So then what? That’s the million dollar question. Might be in people’s best interest to learn more about ourselves, one another, history (from many angles), and to learn to discern what values ultimately matter most. Freedom of speech is the scaffolding for all the rest. A free people don’t exist without it. For a bunch of misfits who take issue with authority figures, it’d be in our best interest to figure out how best to rule our own selves. As individuals but also in relation with others. We’ve received the government we deserve based on how we’ve chosen to live and what we’ve been willing to tolerate (both historically and present-day). We lost our ways and now are being dragged. Leftists might appear to be winning, or at least waging a hell of a fight, but in the end we’ll all lose. There’s no winning where we as a society are headed.

White nationalists worry me too

Just finished watching a couple videos by the youtuber Braving Ruin where he was discussing identity denialism and critiquing how individualism went wrong. He’s a smart guy with a different vantage point who offered up plenty of food for thought. But as I keep looking into videos like his and those from Millennial Woes and similar, and also read the comment sections, I’m left with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Especially when folks get to talking about how mixed people can’t understand their positions and are basically left in outfield in these discussions. Indeed, I do feel as if I’m unwanted by all who take such positions. Such talk makes me nervous, very much so, because they speak of those of us who happened to be mixed with a type of degrading pity, as though we don’t belong, as though we’re somehow not real Americans who care about Western cultures. And that’s neither fair nor accurate.

That right there is the type of shit that has always boiled my blood when going up against white supremacist types. I’ve met them down South in the past and on a few occasions up here in the Midwest. They’re the ones who felt it was perfectly legitimate to call me out (when I was much younger) in front of people and state loudly that I am not “all white,” as if that were a putdown. I recall one such episode when I was a teenager in my hometown in Mississippi very clearly. But it didn’t get to me much at the time since most folks didn’t treat me poorly, so I chocked him up to being some random asshole. Now I’m seeing these random assholes appearing regularly online and chiding others in similar ways. Their message invariably is that because we’re not “all white” that somehow that means we’re defective, unwanted. But where do they imagine we’re supposed to go when this is our home and all we’ve ever known too?

Someone in a comment section tonight brought up a few good questions pertaining to this inquiry, asking why mixed people would want to support nationalistic agendas framed in this sort of way when it’s pretty obvious that eventually we’d be discarded by such a movement. We don’t fit their demographic criteria, no matter what’s in our hearts and minds, no matter how we may choose to live, no matter how much pride we might feel for this country (despite criticizing its shortcomings). Someone like me would be a FOOL to support an ethno-nationalist agenda — I’m well-aware of that fact and always have been.

But then I also get torn because all of my family is white (with a little Native American mixed in for good measure) and most of my friends are also white. And since I care about them I want to see them be okay in the end ultimately. That pits me and my own interests against those of my loved ones, though I know that none of my loved ones support an ethno-state and don’t believe in such divisions according to race. But this sort of ideology itself aims to pit loved ones against loved ones, don’t you see? It’d be asking my Grandma to turn her back on me, which she would never do. And it’d be asking me to separate myself from my closest friends, which I’d rather die than experience. Absolutely serious on that point. My friends and family mean the world to me, they are all that keeps me sane and I would completely lost without them. So to think of some crazy ideology wishing to separate people based on something so arbitrary as race alone is just sick. Deeply disturbing.

Yeah, I’m getting emotional on this topic tonight. Been emotional the last couple of days already, but this one really hits a nerve. It’s been tough enough coming up the product of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, born to a woman who wasn’t really suited to motherhood, and thereby winding up being raised a good bit by my grandparents. I’m very grateful for the sacrifices they made in taking me in when I needed them most. Hate to imagine how life might otherwise have gone. My Papa and my Grandma represent what blood and soil means for me — and understanding that cuts straight down to my core, needing no explanation to strangers. My love with them has always been fierce and I pity the son of a bitch who’d ever aim to divide a family’s love just because somebody isn’t “white enough” according to their standards. Ya know, I grew up feeling like a burden and it’s given me a complex that I haven’t been able to shake to this day, and it makes me awfully sad to think that there’s a growing number of people out there who’d agree with that sentiment based purely on some blood differences. Not even cultural differences, not national differences. Just some fucking blood, some genetic material that only ever can lead us to generalized assessments of groups, saying very little about each individual therein.

I’ve told myself over the years that I ought not feel like a lesser person than others, that I have as much of a right to walk this earth as any of them do. And it’s true. Just as it’s true for all of you (save for those who forfeit that right by exterminating others unlawfully). We were born and we’re now here whether folks like it or not. Regardless of how much some might like to wax poetic on topics of ethnic pride and homogeneity. Sure, we do differ, but that’s true intraracially as much as interracially. Go read about it. I’m sure Dr. Charles Murray could explain it you.

Then I get to thinking about my best girlfriend (American of German and Swedish descent) and her Mexican husband and their mixed kids. They have a good family, and may they never be parted. To look upon them as a union that should’ve never taken place sounds to me like blasphemous thoughts. How dare you. Seriously. How dare someone concern themselves with matters that are truly none of your fucking business. Love trumps such nonsense. As it should. Thank God for that!

Yet these same people so often call themselves Christians. That hypocrisy is one reason I prefer not to live down South anymore. Yeah, I said it and I meant it. Though I recognize the Midwest has their fair share of jerks and tools too — at least up here people are more inclined to keep their opinions to themselves on such matters. Keep it behind closed doors and among close friends at least. Unlike some of the loud-mouth Southerners I’ve encountered who just can’t control themselves when it comes to blabbing about shit that doesn’t concern them. From other people’s religions (when it’s not affronting your own), to their sexual preferences (when it’s not impacting your own), to their family situations (as if you all came up perfectly!), to their race and the race(s) of their loved ones (which in no way directly affects YOU). I’ve long since been sick of it. And it makes me feel guilty still after all these years when I get irate at my fellow Southerners over this age-old bullshit, but oh well. Sometimes it needs to be stated aloud. Seeing as how they’re so notorious about not keeping their damn mouths shut, then maybe they deserve to get an earful back every once in a while.

But this isn’t about Southerners specifically…those are just my own past demons flaring up. Living among them just taught me originally how sick I am of such mindsets and solidified why I refuse to join suit. Not that it would make any sense if I tried. Because here’s the thing: when it all boils down to blood, there’s absolutely nothing you can do or say to change the situation. Can’t erase one’s genes. I could probably lie about mine, but why do so? Why should I have to? For what? Shouldn’t have to lie just so as to live in peace without being harassed by idiots and assholes over matters that shouldn’t concern them.

Though I can hear it already, from the peanut gallery that is emblazoned within my imagination, that these people DO see themselves as affected by persons like myself and unions like my friend has with her husband because we’re all part of this society and can’t help but be impacted by its decline. To which I’ll argue that the decline isn’t a result of people loving one another. Quite the contrary. Seems to me a big reason for the decline is all the divisiveness being sown. Which politicians just adore partaking in. Which we idiots on the ground can’t help but lap up.

Sure, there are real general differences among groups of people. And some perhaps will deem it impossible to live together, to which I say “bye.” Go wherever you’re going then. But that doesn’t entitle you to try to remake this entire society in your idealized vision. No. Certainly doesn’t entitle you to speak of doing violence against people just because you think the races ought to all be kept separated. Such talk is bananas and will be fiercely resisted. For all the wannabe nazis out in the crowd, there’s a whole lot more reasonable and sane people. The latter just happen to have better things to do than engage in battles of the wits with dumbasses online. People like to talk down about the so-called centrists out here, but I’d say don’t sell them short. They’re the many, and while they don’t get as crazy about politics as the nutjobs tend to, that doesn’t mean they’re a bunch of timid lambs waiting to be led to slaughter. Most of my closest people don’t care all that much about politics, but they do care about self-defense and they care a WHOLE BUNCH about their families, friends and neighbors.

I really shouldn’t let this junk get to me, but more and more people keep speaking as though they take these narratives seriously. As if they’re waiting for severe enough economic problems to arise so that they can take advantage of the situation like the opportunistic cockroaches that they are. America was never a white nation. We are indeed a melting pot. Hell, you’d have a hard time finding a white American who isn’t mixed with various European ethnic lineages. Not as if “white” were some sort of monolith. No. We’re all a bunch of mutts. And I imagine this trend will only continue, much to the white nationalists’ dismay. So be it.

If they were really serious, they’d focus more on preserving Western cultures, histories and ideals, instead of placing so much emphasis on race alone.

Race alone doesn’t tell you much about a person. As if we all haven’t met retarded jackass white people. Or retarded jackass black people, for that matter. Or retarded jackass native American people. Or retarded jackass Hispanics. Or retarded jackass Arabs. And I’m willing to bet there are even retarded jackass Orientals as well. ha

As if we don’t know this. As if somebody’s skin color alone is enough to make us want to have something to do with them, no matter how poorly they behave or how they treat us. Because someone’s white doesn’t guarantee they’ll behave loyally toward you any more than it guarantees a non-white won’t. Some out here like to say that individualism has become a problem, that we’re all off living in our little unsustainable bubbles but will eventually be made to recognize the importance of group identities. OK. But there are FAR better bases for forming group identities than race. Or sex/gender, for that matter. Whatever happened to those principles conservatives claimed to care about??

Just gotta remind myself that life is a shitshow sometimes. Not much can be done about that. And we humans aren’t as evolved as we like to think we are.

Shit like this gets me feeling like a misanthrope, like I can’t identify with any of the options being presented, nor do I want to. Want to love the ones I’ve got and do my little part in not horrendously fucking things up so far as I am able, and then not leave descendants to have to deal with this nuthouse.