A new chapter begins

He’s Kansas-bound beginning tomorrow. Off to embark on the next chapter in his life, as I must also turn to in my own.

I’m gonna fight ’em all
A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back
They’re gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back

And I’m talking to myself at night
Because I can’t forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette

And a message coming from my eyes says leave it alone

Don’t wanna hear about it
Every single one’s got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of Hell

And if I catch you coming back my way
I’m gonna serve it to you
And that ain’t what you want to hear
But that’s what I’ll do

And a feeling coming from my bones says find a home

I’m going to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I’m gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore

And I’m bleeding and I’m bleeding
And I’m bleeding right before the Lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more

And the stains coming from my blood tell me go back home

That was “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes. A long-time personal favorite that’s coming to take on a whole new meaning right about now.

Stopped by his house today to help load junk into the dumpster he rented. Trying to empty the house to get it ready to be sold. Sat on the front steps when we were done, looking around at this place that soon enough I won’t step near again. Piece of shit problem house with more things wrong with it than it’s worth. He’s glad to soon be unshackled from it. I’m glad for him too, much as I can’t help but miss the comfort of that place. Lots of fights and pain in there too though. Seven years went by…

Of course I’m going to miss him. But he and his fiancee will have a chance at a fresh start in a new city, which will be good for all involved most likely. He is my friend these days and I’m grateful for what I’ve learned while knowing him, rough as these years have been on us. He’s figured out how to love again and says I will eventually too. Hope he’s right. Hope they’ll be safe.

It’s always hard to say goodbye to our loved ones, even if they’re only moving a state or two away.

May the Lord protect and defend you…

And now I’ve got to walk this off. Turn my attention elsewhere for a while. He’ll be back periodically to work on the house and get it ready to sell, and this is not goodbye forever. But it definitely does mark the beginning of a new chapter. Been coming a long time, but I didn’t have the strength to force the issue all the way myself. So life intervened and made it so. It’s understood. Hard to imagine ever falling in love again, ever bearing my soul like that again. But we must. C’est la vie. He’s proven strong enough to do so and says he knows I can too, so I’m going to believe him. But I’m still going to miss him.

His new adventure, my time for greater solitude. The writing’s been on the wall for so long, and yet it still hurts anyway in the final hour. The heart wants what it wants. Even if it no longer makes any sense.

We filled the dumpster pretty darn full. So much to be tossed out, no longer carried forward. Old memories for him of a life raising a kid to adulthood, for me these last several years of turmoil and crazy magneticism. We seem so much older now, still spry in our own ways but definitely weathered by time and experiences. It’s been a long road. Here’s to the next leg of the journey…