All humans are potentially dangerous (story sharing)

Always good to keep that in mind. Seriously.

Had a weird event occur this week, and since I can’t get to sleep I might as well journal about it. This involves a young man I met at my old regular bar about 4 years ago when he as a 21 year old began coming in with his roommate. Just chatted casually there at times, and that was the gist of our relations throughout much of the time we’ve known one another. Then in recent months he began showing up at another local bar due to moving to a house in the neighborhood, so we ran into each other and became a little more familiar. Not much to it really since we don’t see one another often, I having been back and forth on re-quitting drinking throughout most of this year.

Fast forward to a couple months ago when he asked me out to dinner. Well, wait, before that there was a bit of an issue back in the spring when he would call and text my phone late at night, which I had to check him on a couple times, roughly at that, since I try my best to discourage most people from playing on my phone in the late-night hours. Thought I got through to him that that pissed me off, and so I dropped the matter and he eventually came back around to invite me to dinner in the summer. That went fine. We enjoyed chatting, had a decent night together. And then that was that. Basically went out separate ways afterward, for whatever reasons. Saw him out and about a couple more times, maybe.

I recall he texted a few weeks ago at 4am to ask me to lunch the next day, which I declined due to too short of notice. Once again explained to him that he needs to contact me during daytime hours to request that we go on a date, letting him understand that this disregard for my boundaries and sleep schedule is doing nothing to turn me on. Kind of irritating to keep having to spell this out to the guy, but he’s young and I grasp that youths aren’t too quick on the uptake so I was trying to have patience and explain myself clearly.

Then a couple weeks ago he tried texting me around 11pm, inviting me to meet him for drinks, which I declined since I quit drinking again (and intend to stick with my decision this time around — going on nearly 8 weeks as of today). Kept texting me that evening, and I kept telling him NO, not coming out, done with drinking, don’t appreciate being bugged when I’ve already said no. Was out grocery shopping at the time and was on the phone with my best guyfriend, so he heard about how persistent this young guy was proving to be.

Which then brings us to the events of this week. Wednesday night I laid down to go to sleep about 2am. Was watching a video and had just started to drift off when I heard my doorknob being jiggled, then came a knock. I’ve been sleeping in the livingroom (per my usual custom) so there’s not much distance from the front door and where I tend to sleep. I had no idea who it could be — maybe a crazy neighbor, maybe someone wanting to rob the place? No clue. So I jumped up and grabbed something to defend myself. Another knock at the door. It’s about 2:30am at this point. I’m half-dressed and already know from past experience with a crazy neighbor to not answer my door unless I’m damn sure of who’s on the other side. Called out asking who it was, and he said his name, which I couldn’t catch at first. That’s how much I know this guy — took me a minute on hearing his last name to even process who it was. Man, not too cool to show up here this late and completely unannounced, so I was hot under the collar about it right off the bat. But I decided to open the door and he then asked to come in, and I figured it would be best not to wake up everybody else in the corridor and so let him. Immediately took note of the fact that he was somewhat drunk. Smelled like liquor from a foot or two away. Not fucking cool.

So, he came in and I was pretty pissed, understandably so. Told him how not okay this shit is, in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS. Wasn’t in the mood to try to spell everything out to this otherwise typically non-idiotic guy. Not sure what the hell is wrong with him this year, but it’s grating on my nerves big-time by then. Anyway, I said my piece and he started acting like he thought I’d let him stay the night. Hell no! Stopped by unannounced and I had to work in the morning, plus we really don’t have this level of familiarity where he should be expecting anything from me so casually. He took off his coat and started untying his boots while I’m telling him he needs to head out. Started telling me about how he recently inherited some money — great, that has nothing to do with me, nor is an excuse to show up at my place in the middle of the night. Should’ve invited me out on a date like a normal person instead of disrespecting me this way. But it’s useless saying much to a drunk — goes in one ear and out the other. So, fuck it, I decided to get kinda loud and told him he needed to leave, which he finally did. Told him never to do this again while locking the door behind him. And that definitely should’ve been the end of the ordeal.

Though once you’re woken up like that it’s tough to get back to sleep, so I stayed up another half hour or so smoking a cigarette and watching part of another video. Nestled back in and tried to get to sleep when, lo and behold, here comes ANOTHER KNOCK on my door. I stayed silent and refused to answer, but I did look out the peephole and observed him standing in my hallway, using his phone. A few more minutes went by and then—DAMN, more jiggling of my doorknob followed by another knock. Answered that one briefly simply to shout at him to “Go home!” and locked the door again.

Now I’m wondering what on earth is wrong with this guy. Never figured on him being that crazy. Pondering on how maybe my judgment of him might’ve been flawed. Could he be dangerous? An hour had elapsed from the time he initially knocked, meaning he was hanging around my apartment building all that time — until about 3:45am. Laid back down and was once again starting to fall asleep when my phone rang across the room. Didn’t answer. A few minutes later it rang again. Gotta be fucking kidding me, right? Didn’t answer. Rang a third time — I answered to ask if he’s trying to make an enemy out of me, telling him to stop trying to contact me. Laid back down…a few minutes later a text message arrived. I ignored it and went to bed.

Woke in the morning to a message where he was apologizing, telling me how he was “seriously” sorry about the night before. Ignored it for several hours.

Forgot to mention that while he was inside my home he kept saying that he missed me, which was pretty weird considering we don’t hang out hardly ever and don’t know each other that well. That sent off a red flag in my head — never any fun to deal with in the middle of the night when you’re super tired and already sleep deprived after 2 nights of being woken up repeatedly by my cat walking all over me. Ugh. Just no fun at all to deal with. Yet in his drunken brain he seemed to think this should somehow melt me toward him, like he was expressing something of real significance to me, a woman 12 years older than him who’s wanting to be left alone and not harassed while trying to sleep.

Sometimes you have to ponder the audacity of some people. But then again, I’ve been a drunken idiot numerous times in the past myself, so…I do try to be somewhat understanding about that shit, though also firm with people about how I don’t want that bullshit around me any longer. Trying to heal, recover, and move forward in my life. Do my former barpals give a damn about that? No. Honestly they don’t. It’s just the way these types of people often can be. Done it enough years to know this for certain. And there’s no point in trying to reason with a person in such a state. Will only forget whatever you tell them. Even if you explain things to them while they’re sober, next time they get drunk they’ll either forget what was said or at least pretend to. Every. Fucking. Time.

I texted the guy Thursday afternoon to let him know how tired I was after being kept up all night, how I’m not interested in his empty apologies, and basically to never pull a stunt like that ever again. Crystal clear. He responded back: “Understood.” Talked to my best guyfriend about it later on and he didn’t like the sound of all of this and so requested the guy’s name. Just to be on the safe side and all.

You’d think that would be the definitive end to that crap, at least for this week. But no. At 2:41am today (now Saturday morning) my phone began ringing. Was from a number I didn’t recognize. After about 4 rings I finally picked it up. Guess who? Frickin’ amazing…

Shouted at him to never call me again. No more contact! He murmured something about how he just wanted to let me know he got a new number — as if that’s relevant in the middle of the night. I hung up.

And so now I can’t sleep. It’s approaching 5am and I need to be up in 4 hours, but I got to wondering if that son of a gun might try walking over here and knocking again, so I’m up. Shouldn’t have to deal with this, but I’m really not one to call the police unless it’s absolutely necessary. He’s treading on a fine line with me right about now, and only getting away with this much because I do know him and previously assumed he was a relatively sane and decent person. Now I’m not so sure. He received a head injury earlier in the spring (due to his drunken shenanigans), so I’m starting to wonder if possibly that has changed him somehow. Is he not the same young guy I thought he was? Is this just alcohol getting the best of him? Either way, I should be able to sleep in my own home in peace. Dialing and texting my phone was annoying enough, but stopping over unannounced is completely unacceptable. AND THIS IS WHY I RARELY LET PEOPLE KNOW WHERE I LIVE. People call me paranoid, but THIS is why I’m like that. This shit sucks.

Am considering my options currently. Emailed my best guyfriend after receiving that last call, letting him know what info I have on the guy (phone number, approximate address, full name). Just so that info is logged somewhere. I don’t play with people who behave like this. He’s not my boyfriend — we’ve been on exactly 1 date and he’s been to my place exactly 2 times (once a year or more ago, once this year). Knows me from the barscene, fine, but still — this is not acceptable. Why would he jiggle my doorknob like that, and not once but twice?? Even after I told him that scared the shit out of me. He knows I don’t play, and yet here he was, trying to mess with me anyway. Did he want to be cussed out? Because that’s what happened and what keeps happening and is what he can reliably expect from here on out. I won’t be any fun to deal with. The goal has become to create a strong disincentive so that he’ll give up on whatever he thinks he’s trying to pursue here and move along.

Part of me feels kinda bad for the kid. He’s told me previously about how his mom was a major alcoholic and he drinks a great deal himself, which we’ve discussed many times throughout our time knowing one another. I understand he wants someone to relate with, that he’s craving attention and comfort right now. And this is not the way to go about it. I do believe the alcohol is messing him up badly these days, that that’s probably the main culprit, but it’s not going to improve until he figures that out and decides to make a change. Still, it shouldn’t be my problem. The kid hasn’t taken any advice I’ve offered on that so far, and I’m busy working on helping myself these days. Can’t help someone who won’t help himself. Can’t even reason with him. So, there’s really nothing I can do here except walk away and maintain a firm boundary to ensure he keeps a distance from me. Won’t reward this shitty behavior and lack of respect. Am getting too old for such nonsense.

I figured this matter was over on Thursday, but here it is again on Saturday. Here’s hoping he heeds my warning and decides to move along, but I don’t trust people under the influence of drugs (alcohol most especially included). Have too much experience with how badly we can behave on that substance, with plenty of regrets of my own. I hate that lifestyle and wish it would cease and desist entirely in my realm. But maybe the gods are giving me this experience to strengthen my resolve and to clearly remind me how many problems one can create for oneself. He was otherwise a nice young man whom I enjoyed playing cards with and would’ve, under different circumstances, liked to have played board games with and listened to music. But no. Now he’s taken things too far, and that cannot be tolerated. Give someone like that an inch and he’ll take a mile. No respect for boundaries or rules. Seems to think he can win me over by appealing to my sympathy — not alluring.

So much feels like looking in a mirror nowadays. I’ve made so many poor choices in the past that I can usually find a way to relate to others’ drunken shenanigans. Hard to not feel guilty about the times I’ve made others uncomfortable when it was totally uncalled for. But that still doesn’t mean I ought to be tolerant of that behavior in others now. It was wrong then and it’s wrong now, regardless of which one of us is responsible for the bullshit at the time. The best thing any of us could do for ourselves and others is leave these substances alone. Obviously turns some of us into people we don’t want to be. Gives a person reason for regrets that can last years. Not to mention how many of our relationships wound up damaged along the way.

It’s not as if I’m devoid of compassion for the guy, but I can’t fix anything there, nor should I have to put up with it. It’s truly sad to see younger folks going down that same wretched path of self-destruction. Hell, check out the old folks who succumbed to it — pretty gross to behold. Who wants to become that? Who wants that to be their story in the end? And I know the young man likes me and looks up to me (or at least he seemed to), but he’s stepped over a line here and has to get that through his head. He’s ruined relations with me at this point. And now he’s gotten me worried about what he might wind up doing next or if this will become a more regular occurrence. I’m not going to stand by silently while losing nights of sleep as he’s trying to demand my attention. Puts me in a bad position since I don’t want the kid to get in trouble because he won’t control himself, yet I have to think about taking care of myself here. This is my home. You do not bring bullshit to my doorstep. Romantic partners might give one another some grief, but that’s not who he is to me. I don’t think he means harm, but he doesn’t seem to be thinking much at all right now. Just wanting something, nevermind how the other person feels. Alcohol is a hell of a drug — true story. Can allow a person to behave very selfishly and myopically.

Anyway, I need to try lying down again since time is ticking by and tomorrow (or, technically, later tonight) I have a dinner date scheduled with a very sweet older man whose company I enjoy very much and who’s always behaved like a gentleman toward me thus far. Really prefer not to be tired all day again, so I’ll probably have to shoot for a nap in the afternoon if possible. Am not too good at crashing during daylight hours.

Never a dull moment…

More joys of apartment living. Some neighbor down the way nearly caught the building on fire. Was sitting in the livingroom yesterday late afternoon and heard sirens nearby, then kept hearing sirens until finally I decided to go investigate. Thought maybe there was a problem on my street, but no, somebody downstairs fell asleep while cooking, so other neighbors told me. Apparently the guy was passed out drunk and his upstairs neighbor heard his smoke detector going off. She and another woman knocked on his door, no answer. Fire department arrived and knocked again — no answer. So they beat his door in. They said the guy finally woke up after that and began drunkenly fanning the smoke in his apartment with an empty beer carton.

Ugh. Yeah. Always something happening here. But the ordeal brought a lot of us out to see what was going on, during which I introduced myself to a neighbor down the hall who turns out to have lived here the last 3 years. Shows how much I interact with others who live here — my bad.

The guy downstairs responsible for the incident is said to be new here (personally never seen him before), and the word is that our landlord plans to boot him after this fiasco. Probably for the best.

Been waiting for somebody to eventually fuck around and catch this place on fire. Nearly 10 years here and no one has managed it so far (*knock on wood*), though one previous resident did manage to catch her stovetop on fire to where the entire appliance had to be replaced. Other than that, we’ve been pretty lucky. Kind of nerve-wracking living so close to others whom you depend on to at least not destroy all of our shit — that being the downside of apartment dwelling. I pay for rental insurance, but still, it would majorly suck to lose my home and everything I own because of someone else’s carelessness. The other neighbors were pretty pissed about the ordeal, as is understandable.

Alcohol’s a hell of a drug. I keep repeating that because it’s true. Many of us probably know what it’s like to pass out and wake up to smoke because we’re burning food. but that’s really not okay. Too much at stake to let that happen.

So…now entering my 7th week of sobriety (this time around), I’m grateful for the strength to walk away from such a destructive lifestyle. Been down that road too many times already — always leads to the same place. Always involves letting others down in one way, shape or form. Always culminates in disappointment and regret. Sincerely wishing so many of us would leave that drug alone, especially when it leads to foolhardy shit like that described above where people’s lives could’ve been put at risk. It’s no good.

An actually helpful grip tip when starting out shooting (plus additional thoughts)

Came across a video last night on the topic of proper grip when shooting:

Others kept telling me to simply grip tight and stay high up, but what this man explained is what he referred to as the c-clamp hand-grip and how that’s better than letting your fingers curl around in a squeeze since that impacts the trigger finger. Good call. Tried out his advice today and shot better than I have thus far, as someone who hasn’t shot often throughout my life (nor ever been properly trained) until in recent months when I began heading to the local shooting range (typically on my own).

A lady who works at the range has offered me pointers during a few visits, and I’ve tried to apply her advice as well. But this man’s explanation of proper gripping technique proved to be just what I needed. Pressing the grip from the front (in a pulling motion) and the back (in a forward motion)—basically squeezing the front and back portions of the grip of the gun specifically with my right hand and worrying less about the sides (though applying pressure against the grip with my left hand for stabilizing purposes)—makes sense to me now. Before I just squeezed all the way around with my right hand and pressed in as hard as I could with my left, because that’s what folks seemed to be advising me to do. Getting your other fingers out of the movement does help because the trigger finger wants to react when the resent of them curl tight.

It was an ah-ha moment, however small it might seem to others.  lol  Papa never explained much about guns other than don’t point them at others and then just try to aim in the direction of what you want to shoot and pull the trigger. Nothing else. No discussion of sights or proper holding of the gun or even explanation of what he handed me to shoot. So, that was my early experience with guns — the occasional opportunity to point at bottles in a sand pit and try to plink them off without much preparation of know-how. My one time at the shooting range with my ex-stepdad in my early 20s was no more educational, except for him being more safety conscious (and the location required wearing hearing protection, something Papa never brought up).

Fast forward several years and I had only been out shooting a handful of times as an adult. A guyfriend here or there allowed me to shoot at something on some rare occasions. A couple years ago two family members allowed Grandma and me to come out to shoot on their land after I had purchased my first revolver and wanted to try it out. My second-cousin and great-uncle were kind enough to share their guns as well so that I could try shooting them across the pond to see how they felt. That was a fun day, though I still didn’t know much beyond pointing and pulling the trigger. Managed to shoot all right under the circumstances though. At least hit the cardboard target much of the time.

Last November my former partner and I headed to the shooting range for the first time together ever to try out a second semi-auto handgun I had purchased. For years I had been wanting to learn more about shooting, increasingly out of self-defense concerns, but most of the men in my life never got around to taking me to the range or showing me anything despite many promises to do so. And I finally grew tired of waiting on them to make time. My former partner hadn’t fired a weapon in close to 20 years by then and is only very slowly getting back into the “hobby” again himself and so couldn’t really instruct me on much. Though he was kind enough to purchase some cleaning accessories for my guns as a gift.

So, I’m a perpetual newb at shooting. Decided to try to change that earlier this year and pressured my guyfriends to go to the range with me. One acquaintance did go with me one time, which was my first opportunity to shoot an AR-15. Extremely loud. But he and I parted ways for other reasons and haven’t been in contact since. The former military guy I used to hang around kept talking about wanting to go to the range with me — never happened. An old buddy I’ve known for many years keeps saying he wants to take me out into the country to shoot — as of this summer, still hasn’t happened. I understand he’s busy, but damn. How many years have we known one another now? Nine?  Grrr…

I get it. The whole world is busy with jobs and raising kids or drinking themselves into oblivion, etc. So I decided to take the initiative myself and signed up at a local shooting range and have been going in probably a couple times a month (on ladies’ day when it’s discounted) since probably late spring this year. Took pictures of a few of my targets afterward to send to close friends to demonstrate my progress (or lack thereof). Got frustrated on more than one occasion, wondering what I was doing wrong. Tried my best to listen to the lady who works there’s advice and apply it since she’s really the only teacher I have at this point. And I’ve watched many videos online to pick up what tips I can, though there’s so much conflicting info and hyped up material that doesn’t suit my modest needs.

One channel I’ve found great value in is Hickok45’s:

Basic stuff, sure, but it helps to gain a better understanding of why you’re being told to do whatever you think you’re trying to do.

His channel is chocked full of worthwhile things to know, considering how much babbling there is online about the differences between guns and people’s preferences. Can be difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff and find those gems worth following.

Truth be told, I haven’t found hardly any female shooter channels I’ve been interested in following. So many are involved either in competitive shooting or are mostly just trying to sell gun-related items to other women or appear to be more directed toward attracting male viewers with sex appeal. Maybe that’s just what comes up in my feed — surely there are quality female shooter channels out there that I haven’t discovered yet that provide practical, no-frills and no-bullshit advice and ideas. But until I find them, I’ll continue sticking mostly with Hickok’s channel and a handful of others.

TL;DR: The first grip-related video up above helped improve my accuracy immediately — necessary basics lesson. The next 2 videos shown are of Hickok45’s channel, which is a quality resource for other newbs like me (and more experienced shooters). Highly recommended.

If anyone has any other channels or specific videos or websites on this topic they’d like to recommend, I’m all ears.

Perhaps it can be no other way…

Some people say they can’t understand how so many others can be deceived into supporting communism and denouncing capitalism. Others say they can’t comprehend the logic of those who display signs stating “support the blue.” People also like to talk about how silly it is to follow religions and pray to unverifiable deities.

There’s so much we can’t grasp about one another.

Something I can’t understand about a number of you is how so often you prove willing to accept government’s official narratives about events that couldn’t possibly have played out as described. Case in point: the events on 9/11/01. I’m still stuck back there, unable to accept political discourse since then as being anything more than farce. Yet I apparently belong to a minority in possessing these views. That’s been troubling me for a long time, this representing either a severe departure from reality for myself or for a whole bunch of you.

So I keep turning back to the question, again and again, trying to locate the flaw in my own thinking since people like to say that when you find yourself in opposition to most others, the problem likely lies within yourself. Fine. Challenge accepted. This has been an ongoing struggle in trying to reckon with what my lying eyes and mind are telling me versus what so many of the rest of you are saying.

A video I came across last night, just one more in a long line over the years, on top of so much I’ve read on the subject, along with the contradictory news reports from back around that time in 2001:

Building 7 makes no sense in accordance with the official narrative. Most won’t even touch that portion of the story, leading me to believe that people won’t reckon with its implications precisely because they fear the questions that will unearth. Flight 93 makes little sense either. Nor does the Pentagon attack. Nor do the twin towers falling into their own footprint.

Yet I’ve read where physicists dismiss such inquiries with condescension. And I’ve taken note of the many mainstream publications backing the official narrative. I’ve also listened to military personnel aggressively admonish people who dare to scrutinize the official claims.

And still I remain stuck, unable to go along with the flow of what appears to be the majority in this country. Do my eyes and mind deceive me?

Everything turns into little more than a circus in light of that information. And the inquiry into it forces one back further into history, learning about how America hasn’t been what we’d like to believe for at least a century. Then further back, branching out across world history. Through this exploration I’ve learned a great deal about human nature and how people are willing to believe nearly anything under the right circumstances. How we’re prone to repeat certain cycles. How successive generations wind up having to learn hard truths for themselves, again and again, despite all prior warnings laid out for them by those who came and learned the hard way before.

Such inquiries have led me to the understanding that I am wasting my time and energy in identifying too closely with our human/material realm. Hence why past people sought to turn toward God probably. It’s a never-ending maze that covers the same ground again and again, yet we so often remain blinded to this fact. So much is an illusion, created by us and for us. Power has been the name of the game since antiquity. Lies and deception aren’t new, though what is new is the vast amount of information available to us today, allowing us to challenge what’s presented before us and compare it to historical precedents.

And yet still, many refuse to look. Why?

Because to do so would undermine our current beliefs, hopes, dreams and strategies. How does one orientate oneself within a twisted labyrinth with no way up or out? What does one believe in when the principles we’ve been taught to embrace and uphold are exposed as mere talking-point lures to lead us toward serving ends that defy these very same principles? What is the value of Truth in an impossible see of misinformation/disinformation, wherein acknowledging what is real leads to ostracism, ridicule and even threats of violence? Worse, where such expressed thoughts can get one labeled as “crazy” and, if very unlucky, sent involuntarily away to be evaluated by psychiatry professionals.

That’s where the truth appears to stand today. Exceedingly unpopular, rendering those who insist on speaking it social misfits and pariahs.

Certainly doesn’t help that there’s also this label of “conspiracy theorist” whereby one gets dismissed right away for mentioning anything associated with its major talking points. Also doesn’t help that some who embrace such subject matter are prone to take up other lines of inquiry that are much less provable/more speculative, reducing the credibility of “conspiracy theories” as a whole in the eyes of many onlookers.

I get to thinking sometimes these days that there really is no point in trying to “wake” people up to these ideas any longer. Sometimes I wrestle with the question of whether it’s right to even attempt to do so when they seem so blissful in their ignorance as is. Perhaps shattering their illusions is cruel and would only likely lead them toward deep depressions that they might not escape. Is it the selfish side of oneself that wishes them to see what you see, even if that means paying for it by descending into hell as a result? Is it a case of misery loving company? I suffer in this way and so should you? I don’t know.

But I have a few people close to me who claim to be happy and beg of me not to mention these sort of things, preferring their tranquility to remain intact. One I speak with on these topics occasionally, but he’s immune to my concerns on the topic. Just goes right along with his day as if nothing had been said at all. Never stops to question. Never seems to care. As much as I love him, I have never been able to understand him on this level. I’ve been forced to accept that it’s truly a difference in our personalities. But what he calls optimism, I call distracted escapism. Sure, he’s a good person. Probably a lot better and more helpful than I am. Yet in this instance he blatantly and outright prefers to not know. He prefers his peace of mind. He prefers the comfortable lie.

I told him today that while I can sympathize with people like himself, I won’t pretend to respect that decision. He said nothing in response.

And that’s how it goes. The silence of friends can be deafening at times. Many times I’ve wondered if I’m just losing my mind here. If there’s something wrong with how I interpret information. If I’m truly and utterly deluded in this respect. And if so, what can be done about it? But then I return to the materials and keep digging for answers, and it keeps telling me that I’m not wrong on this. Might not know what did happen on 9/11, but I know damn well what didn’t happen. What couldn’t possibly have happened. Regardless of what so-called “experts” have come out saying otherwise. They’re doing a disservice to their own fields of study by confusing people about the sciences in an effort to prop up political preferences. Deep down I believe they know that. I hope they do, anyway.

I’ve been wrong on plenty of things in this life. Don’t normally assume myself to be right about much. Mostly I am a wanderer and ponderer, asking questions and listening to various viewpoints while studying life. But there are a couple areas where I have to take a stand and state the obvious. Call me loony for plenty else, fine, but a building on fire for a few hours doesn’t fall like that. To “pull” a building means to intentionally demolish it.

Demolition.

A fire doesn’t cause a steel structure to fall like that (or to fall at all). Recall that that building wasn’t even hit by a plane.

How are we, in good conscience, to continue pretending this didn’t happen and that our government didn’t lie about it? How is it all right to lead people to believe there’s something wrong with themselves mentally if they won’t believe and accept the official narrative?

No, we’re certainly not all on the same team. That’s been made clear many times over. Many will sell the rest upstream if it means their precious illusions can be maintained for just a little while longer. Many care more about redecorating their homes and pleasing their corporate bosses than they do about the state of this nation. So why do I care about the state of this nation? I don’t have kids. The future isn’t mine. Why do I care about law and order if so many of the rest of you obviously do not, despite all your lip service to the contrary?

Not sure how to answer that, though I’ve felt my allegiance to our so-called social contract waning for quite a while now. What do I owe any of you? If ignorance is bliss, then have at it. You receive the government you deserve.

Sounds cold-hearted, doesn’t it? Does to me too. I don’t wish to feel this alienated, but I don’t know how to swallow lies and smile while doing so. I’d rather be alone if that’s the trade-off. So greater solitude is something I’m trying to make peace with currently. Can’t stand to watch another person walk away from these realizations and head back to the bar where he can drown it all out, year after year. Hard to listen to those close to me say they’d rather stay happy, nevermind these ongoing, unjustified wars in the Middle East that our tax dollars fund. How she’s too anxious about her own problems and past, too busy raising kids right now to worry over such seemingly irrelevant matters…

I’m not trying to judge my people harshly. But I do judge all of us. Someday when our economy topples and foreign nations intrude on our domestic affairs, do you think they will look upon us with kindness and charity for our human rights record? Do you imagine they will sympathize with our extravagantly hedonistic ways that led us astray? Will our God hear our prayers once we’re forced down our knees?

I don’t know. I just know this isn’t right, and I wish we’d care more about the exploration for truth rather than simply securing our comfort. And that’s a pipe dream. Humans simply are this way and always have been. Some of us have a fetish for staring into abysses, but that doesn’t necessarily make us better people either. I’m not sure what the game plan ought to be anymore or how to orientate oneself in this situation. Our government lies to us more often than not, and there’s little reason to have much faith in my fellow Americans to do a damn thing about it. I try to forgive us for being this way — perhaps we cannot help. Perhaps people have always been prone this way because it’s simply something within our nature hell-bent on being this way. So maybe it really can’t be helped. Maybe those who say there’s nowhere to turn but to God are correct. Whatever that even means in a world where religions have proven very deceptive as well.

Perhaps radical individualism is our fate. Maybe it can be no other way. Even as so many others opt to collectivize so as to skew power in their favor…

This is what an existential crisis looks like.

Maybe, maybe not

Feels good to vent on here lately. Gotta think out loud some way to work the thoughts out and examine them.

Never expecting others to agree with me. Hell, I don’t always agree with me.  lol

I don’t know what the future holds. The optimistic side (if I can call it that) within is keen on keeping an open mind about unforeseen variables. Nada es impossible. Though, it’s not clear how we figure that shit’s going to change for the better while we’re not paying close attention. Not on the day-to-day political back-and-forth shenanigans necessarily — just in trying to gain a better understanding of where we as a nation have come from; what history in general (assuming one can locate a morsel of genuine history) has to teach us humans; what our psychologies involve; what social trends over the last century or two have pushed society to where it stands currently, etc., etc.

Instead so often we choose to entertain ourselves to death. I know I’m guilty of this. Which is kind of understandable for those of us who don’t kids and thereby don’t feel as invested in the future of this country (gene pool ends here). Hard to imagine not wanting to learn about this life. It’s frickin’ fascinating. Even while acknowledging America cruising toward becoming an Orwellian/Huxleyan totalitarian state (as we’ve seen on the horizon for years).

Hell, my Papa assured me as a teen that a civil war will occur during my lifetime. Was he right? Who knows? Guess we’ll find out.

People like Mike Cernovich are right in some ways too (much as I used to not like the guy, I’ve found his twitter feed worth reading in the last couple of months). Some finessing could be done on the part of Republicans. As with the supreme court nomination — he’s probably right that the Christian woman would’ve been a better (and more qualified) selection for the position. Plus, it would’ve been the politically strategic move if we’re back up and look at how much easier she would’ve been to try to defend in the court of public opinion right about now. Yeah, I get how that can seem like kowtowing to Democrats, but you’re not talking about selecting a Democratic candidate, just one who wouldn’t be treated like a lightning rod for Leftist projections (i.e., a white, pro-life man who attended Yale). Is that fair? Well, that depends. Am I suggesting white men deserve to be overlooked? No, not necessarily, but we are a multiracial society and there undeniably is a lot of resentment at this point in history toward how much power white men have wielded in high positions of this country up until now. That’s just a fact. Women (generally speaking) are pissed off at men (especially white men). Black folks have their grievances. Hispanics have theirs too. As do Native Americans. Legitimate concerns even.

Power’s about to be transferred one way or another. Accusations of racism and sexism are all the rage right now, as we all know. And there are so many balls moving at all times — so much to keep up with, so many battles to fight. I wasn’t keeping up with supreme court picks and wouldn’t even be aware of all this drama if not for becoming a Twitter addict since the summer, so I’m not familiar with the lady in question or how she stacks up against Kavanaugh. No clue. Just sayin’. If she was equally qualified then Trump could’ve saved the public a headache by going with her instead. Instead we’re caught up in a neverending she said/he said contest dating back to 35 years ago, resulting in people who only skim headlines assuming Kavanaugh to be a schmuck. That’s not right and that’s not fair if he’s innocent. He probably didn’t need this headache either.

But when it was Clarence Thomas it was possible to garner a bunch of public support because he was a black conservative man. Identity politics at play, sure, but how is it to be avoided, especially now compared to back then? From what little I know of him he sounds like a good judge, so he deserved to be defended (assuming he was innocent of the allegations made).

That’s the other thing: we’re talking about sexual assault and harassment here. These are most difficult cases to prove typically. So much occurs behind closed doors that others are not and cannot be privy to directly. Even if you talk to someone afterward, it’s still one’s word. Unless the act is caught on camera, what proof really exists (except where great physical violence was done)? These are tricky matters that get me thinking about Orwell’s book Nineteen-Eighty-Four where he describes the sexes divided, behaving hostilely toward one another. What sex they engage in imitates rape because all romantic bonds have long-since been broken. Hence why it was such a big deal that Winston and Julia decided to steal time away together in private and learned to love one another. That was forbidden. They were tortured on account of it. This is what I’m pointing at when harping on about how sex segregation (pushed by “MGTOWs,” Muslims and some feminists alike) being such a bad idea. And yet…

Do you see what I see?

An intentionally antagonistic situation is brewing that is being actively stoked and encouraged by mainstream media and university departments. Race and sex are at the forefront. People are buying into some of it because they’re indoctrinated, but also part of it because some of the rhetoric is true. Or at least it’s not completely wrong. Leaving aside what can’t be done about the past. We’re confronting a bunch of ideologues (with more on the way) who are utterly obsessed with ushering in a more “equal” arrangement. Granted, I understand that much of what we see is coming across as outright discriminatory against white men — true. But here we stand today. People are at least tired of seeing the same old, same old, whether they’re going to wind up with it in terms of politics as usual or not.

Mike Cernovich brought up a good point about how some of these folks view Trump literally as Hitler. Yes, that’s bizarre, especially considering Obama was just as bad, as were the Clintons, as were the Bushes, etc. He’s a continuation on an old theme, though it looks a bit different since he’s from the business world and is best known through tabloids and television shows. But that’s what they’ve convinced themselves of, so they’re going to fight dirty ever chance they get in response. That’s what you do if you honestly think you’re fighting fascism. Are they deluded? I think so, but my reasoning can’t penetrate most of them. Tried plenty in the past and failed.

(As an aside, I’m coming to take Jonathan Haidt’s words in his book The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion more seriously with each passing day. Our values stack up differently. Leftists place more emphasis on the “care/harm” value whereas conservatives embrace a wider and more equally distributed set of values. Plus, we’re driven by our emotions first, reasoning/rationality second.)

It does help to try to understand where one another is coming from, at least generally speaking and so far as we’re able. Are Leftists taking much time to try to comprehend conservatives? No, I’d say more honest investigation actually runs in the other direction. But still. Know Thyself. Then know your enemies.

Not sure if we’re taking this one to the streets, considering how the most vocal activists on the Left tend to live on the West and East coasts, leaving the Midwest and South with the densest populations of conservatives. We’re living apart for the most part, at least in terms of our most radical fringes, though also in regards to our neighborhoods/communities too — so that much of our discourse can’t help but take place online (aside from the years we encounter each other on college campuses or in schools). Hence why censorship online is such incredible BULLSHIT and deserves our attention and push-back. THAT’s a concern we need to focus on, not whether a guy pulled his dick out back in college (who didn’t? Ugh! It’s like fighting air!).

And yet we get swept up like it’s the Macarena every. single. time. We fall for drama so easily. Hard not to get caught up in it. They certainly have our number and know how to distract us well.

Gotta train ourselves to keep our eyes on more important matters. Bitching at one another gets us where? So many act like they’re scared of the System, yet they want to try to use this System to usher in what changes they want to see. So we all fight and squabble and vote and conduct our “2-minutes of hate” ritual on the regular, and what happens? That System we’re all worried about continues growing, continues doing whatever it ultimately wants regardless of what pressure we the people put on it in our fragmented state. Not winning. Just being manipulated and lied to and tossed a carrot every once in a while to occupy us for a spell.

We’re easily played. Truth be told.

What can be done about this? Well, we can try to boil down what matters most and focus there primarily. Freedom of speech, of a free press, and to assemble as we choose are numero uno priorities to me. Because without that, we got nothing. That goes for ALL of us. Across the board. If we can’t even defend that then we might as well hang it up. We’re done as a country and should get ready for a new totalitarian reality since it’s right around the bend. Are things going to get worse before they get better? Oh yes. Hence why it’s so shocking to me how many folks out there don’t seem super worried about any of this and are contentedly going about their lives and watching their ballgames as if nothing is happening. Blows my mind.

That’s just it. Maybe that’s where we are and we’re just struggling to come to terms with it. For nearly two decades we constantly hear people talk about needing to wake others up, and this is as far as we’ve gotten in 2018. I try really hard not to get too down about it, to accept that humans have a penchant for needing to learn every goddamn thing the hard way. C’est la vie. Somehow have to forgive ourselves for this enduring folly. But perhaps this is precisely why empires always fall and always will: the people turn soft and grow more concerned with raiding the public coffer than actually upholding fundamental principles. So, down Rome topples. Maybe it can’t be any other way. Bread and circuses stole the show. Comfort and ease lulled us into such a deep sleep that some would prefer to live in a virtual reality if it meant keeping that dream going. Scientism and transhumanism have taken hold in our collective imaginations, leading people to relax into the dream that technology will eventually set it all right.

Are we a bunch of cowards? Probably. What are we about? Relatively petty shit most often. Are more going to wake up? Likely not until it’s too late. Humans like to dwell in the stream of least resistance. Some will ride that their whole lives if you let them. (Hence why universal basic income doesn’t sound like such a good idea.)

So then what? That’s the million dollar question. Might be in people’s best interest to learn more about ourselves, one another, history (from many angles), and to learn to discern what values ultimately matter most. Freedom of speech is the scaffolding for all the rest. A free people don’t exist without it. For a bunch of misfits who take issue with authority figures, it’d be in our best interest to figure out how best to rule our own selves. As individuals but also in relation with others. We’ve received the government we deserve based on how we’ve chosen to live and what we’ve been willing to tolerate (both historically and present-day). We lost our ways and now are being dragged. Leftists might appear to be winning, or at least waging a hell of a fight, but in the end we’ll all lose. There’s no winning where we as a society are headed.

The Political Left has won the culture war

Haven’t listened to anything from Stardusk/Thinking-Ape in a long time, but come to find out his newer material very much jibes with my own thoughts at this time.

He’s right. World War II was a serious game-changer, for various reasons. Not least of which was that it promoted widespread sympathy toward Jews in particular since the Holocaust centered around them categorically being blamed for the ills of German society, leading then to a plan for their extermination. This is what our history books tell us repeatedly, however factual all of the related claims may be. It’s that historical focus that has been spread down, generation to generation, to all of us alive today, drilling into our minds how horrific of an event it was and how we must NEVER (under ANY circumstances) allow an atrocity of that nature to occur again (most especially against Jewish people). I got the message full-on and took it very seriously while growing up, as have most others. Seems like the most humane position to take.

What that message left out were the atrocities committed by communists in the Soviet Union and China. Instead of us being taught more broadly about totalitarianism we were specifically indoctrinated with information about Nazi Germany (at the comparative exclusion of all else). Was that an accident? Doesn’t appear to be now, does it? Considering school curriculum still hasn’t been updated to address this imbalance many decades later.

Why? Well, it appears the U.S. government had some sort of affinity with the Soviet Union all along, even after we publicly ceased being known as allies and entered the Cold War. So much that we are taught is slanted, intentionally distorted — lies by omission. How do you prove such a claim? I don’t know, but the evidence seems clear enough right about now in viewing what’s been unfolding across time.

Yes, the Political Left has been making incremental changes over many decades, leading them to possess the power they wield today. And yes, any attempt to lawfully shift the political tides would also take a concerted effort spanning decades. The problem is there isn’t time left for such a gradual game change. This country has already been compromised and now, partly thanks to the rise of Big Tech and the stronghold of globalizing powers, this process is guaranteed to speed up. Meaning that the Left will make more rapid moves and greater changes in the years to come, further transforming this country and culture beyond recognition. How do you stop a runaway train?

The old way lost, and if I’m honest with myself I can admit that this really began at the time of the Civil War. That defeat was the beginning of the end. Half a nation of people were successfully fought and disallowed from seceding. Tyranny forced compliance, and the South laid down and accepted those conditions in the end, and has been harshly treated by the history books ever since. So much so that people have allowed themselves to be convinced that it was a war fought over slavery, dismissing all talk of states’ rights as if that’s some sort of humorous deflection from facts and reason. That’s where it all began in this country, truly, because that’s when a part of Americans’ spirit died. The dissidents of that era were taught that resistance is futile, and they—despite their big talk ever since—did not stand by the words of the forefathers they claim to love so much and DEMAND either liberty or death. No, instead they laid down their guns and chose to live. And this is what they’ve lived for, this nation as it stands today is what they passed on to successive generations. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

Decades later, Americans were united under the guise of protecting our freedom by engaging in World War I & II. Do you know what really undermined us after the Second World War? Our compassion. Noble as it is, that proved to be Americans’ undoing. Compassion toward Jews and the story of the Holocaust wound up being our shackles on down the line. I do not say this as someone who has a particular problem with Jewish people (as already explained before elsewhere on this blog) — just that I can see how that narrative weakened us in terms of convincing us that violence on that scale was wrong in all cases for Americans (at least on American soil). Nevermind the killing of others we commit in wars abroad since — that somehow proves less relevant, despite many in the Middle East considering this a Holocaust of sorts being brought against them (and quite effectively, I might add). I’m not much of a defender of Muslims and am known to be very critical of their religion, speaking out regularly against their immigration to Western nations, yet still I can see this plainly.

Our shackling to Israel has been out of a deep sense of guilt (for whatever reason) and alliance through compassion (as well as Christians being convinced by their televangelist preachers that the Jewish people must all return to that region of the world if ever Jesus is to return to the earth — crazily enough). But even now when many can see that Israel is undeserving of so much military aid, we the people can’t seem to stop it. Politics have gotten outside of our control.

Compassion undermined us. Why? Well, for one, it dulled our collective imagination and kept us from seriously reckoning with the idea that some groups within our society mean to do this nation harm and ought to either be locked up or expelled. And because we’ve been heavily steeped in propaganda about that war, along with being strongly influenced by Jewish thought through the media and Hollywood productions, we’ve come to embrace the notion of multiculturalism, not yet knowing that that would prove to be our unraveling. (Or at least it rendered us unwilling to stand up for one culture above others, setting the stage for events to come.)

Some of this appears to be due to trends not specific to or arising from American culture in the last century, such as postmodern thought imported from France. So perhaps this trend is more universal, less localized, as it now seems to be unraveling European nations as well. Has this been intentionally orchestrated? Hard to argue that it hasn’t been. Perhaps just a result of a preponderance of chicanery where opportunists seized at every point along the way what influence and power they could.

Stardusk mentioned how this likely can’t be reversed quickly, short of some sort of war breaking out perhaps, and then there’d be the risk of the pendulum swinging in the opposite direction. Which to me means something akin to what arose out of Wiemar Germany. (Though, who would we fight today and how? Declare war on all who consider themselves left of center? Besides, most are far too docile to seriously consider taking matters into our own hands if it involves violence. Except maybe thugs/Antifa.) We hear people today so readily dismiss one another as “fascists” for any little deviation, anything they can label and denounce as wrongthink. That’s priming people to accept that resistance is futile, knowing you’ll be mischaracterized and roundly attacked by their fanatical army (while most of the brethren on your own side sit out the battle, preferring not to have their good names wrecked by weighing in the fray). So those willing to step into the ring and fight at this point can’t help but be outliers, and they will all find themselves harshly labeled as belonging to the “alt-right” and accused of being “nazis” and “full of hate.” Others will distance themselves from these people as a result. We might speak about them online and attempt to defend them with our words, and, as we already see underway, we will be punished accordingly (some even going so far as losing their jobs — more and more this keeps happening).

Makes a person really stop and question their morality and where they learned it from. I often have to ask myself if my beliefs are born out of a slave morality, because it seems that way when it renders me incapable of even launching an effective defense. That calls into question the role of Christianity (or at least how it’s commonly interpreted) at this point in history, though I will leave that topic for another time.

What do we owe to one another at this point? How do you contend with people who don’t give a damn about the principles you’re struggling to uphold? And what do you do if those same principles are tethering your hands and disallowing you from going toe to toe with those hell-bent on supporting tyranny? I don’t know, but I ask myself this regularly enough nowadays.

There doesn’t appear to be a future worth salvaging in this dilemma. If we opt to try to live in peace, then we’ve agreed to comply — we’ve chosen complicity. It’s anyone’s guess what this nation will be like in 30 years at the rate it’s currently going. Does their “vision for the future” truly look to you like a healthy place to raise kids? Does it appear to be the kind of society you’d like to live to old age within? Serious questions for serious times.

Some might read this and think I’m just upset about the Kavanaugh confirmation or some other current event, but no. I don’t care much about that matter aside from taking issue with how ruthless the politics at play are showing themselves to be. Have no stake in him as a person and don’t particularly care about his career either way, though it is rough watching a man get dragged through the mud if he is innocent, all because of unprovable accusations brought to light at the perfect time to do maximum damage. Just sayin’. I’m tired of seeing this gender war devolve into woman screaming that they deserve to be believed no matter what, evidence be damned. This idea that people can ruin our lives with their words and we’re left with no recourse. All because of politics unchained. Been coming to this for a looong time, and now it’s threatening to upend so much that’s fundamental in our society, including a right to due process and the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. But, if we’re honest to ourselves, we’ve been here before during the Jim Crow era when an accusation was all that was needed to determine a man’s fate. So perhaps this nation’s foundational principles haven’t been shit for over a century already. Perhaps we’ve been fooling ourselves to imagine otherwise.

So then I get to wondering what it is we’re supposed to be fighting for here? A revival of America? How is that even possible? We’re far too divided and have been for so long. Probably irreparably so by now. We like to think Leftist were supposed to be the compassionate ones, the “bleeding hearts” among us, and yet look at what’s been happening all around. Do you see compassion there? Yet so-called conservatives keep pandering to them, as if that’s the way this game must be played.

You know what I think? I think this is a bit of an indictment of capitalism, at least in this most-modern era, because it allowed people to branch off in pursuit of our own individual goals and dreams, relinquishing loyalty to our communities in the process. Chasing money has corrupted us to where we now stand divided. We don’t know one another barely anymore and have little reason to trust one another. We don’t share a common faith any longer. Our values are selected at will. Many don’t even vote, especially not locally, thereby dropping the reins even on what little political power they may have possessed. All because we were busy celebrating our individuality and trying to get ahead in the economy. Well, now we’re up against a united front of ideologues who are possessed by a drive toward power. What can be done about that? Certainly not an issue to be rectified by voting this late in the game.

So then what? Shall we drown our sorrows in nihilistic hedonism and await a societal collapse, as some are fond of talking about these days? Should we risk speaking out and having our livelihoods destroyed while others go about their regularly scheduled routines and ignore us? Should we call upon a higher power to direct us, even if that means undertaking unpopular action on our own? That’ll get you locked up for even trying to talk about it. Shall we just continue watching this crazy saga unfold like we always have, chomping neurotically at the bit like we usually do? Shall we try to brainwash ourselves with positive thinking in an effort to find peace within this storm?

I don’t know the way forward from here on out. Mostly I’m plagued with a bunch of questions. A gradual shift in another direction won’t be coming though, that much I’m willing to bank on. And I’m not sure how tolerant we can expect to remain while our rights are stripped from us.

It’s a hell of a conundrum we find ourselves in nowadays. But, as always remains true: nobody promised us a rose garden. C’est la vie.

Harari on our lack of freedom & Free Will (my thoughts)

This afternoon I came across an article in The Guardian titled “Yuval Noah Harari: the myth of freedom” (Sept. 14, 2018).

A few notable excerpts from the article:

Unfortunately, “free will” isn’t a scientific reality. It is a myth inherited from Christian theology. Theologians developed the idea of “free will” to explain why God is right to punish sinners for their bad choices and reward saints for their good choices.

[…]

Though “free will” was always a myth, in previous centuries […]

But now the belief in “free will” suddenly becomes dangerous. If governments and corporations succeed in hacking the human animal, the easiest people to manipulate will be those who believe in free will.

[…]

In recent years some of the smartest people in the world have worked on hacking the human brain in order to make you click on ads and sell you stuff. Now these methods are being used to sell you politicians and ideologies, too.

[…]

Liberalism has developed an impressive arsenal of arguments and institutions to defend individual freedoms against external attacks from oppressive governments and bigoted religions, but it is unprepared for a situation when individual freedom is subverted from within, and when the very concepts of “individual” and “freedom” no longer make much sense.

[…]

The very same technologies that we have invented to help individuals pursue their dreams also make it possible to re-engineer those dreams. So how can I trust any of my dreams?

[…]

There is nothing new about doubting free will or about exploring the true nature of humanity. We humans have had this discussion a thousand times before. But we never had the technology before. And the technology changes everything.

My initial reaction after reading that article:

Having now read it through a 2nd time, I’d like to elaborate a bit further.

First off, I listened to the audio version of Yuval Noah Harari’s book Sapiens a couple years back and generally appreciated it. Though I haven’t kept up with the author since then and was unaware of his shifting views. Now, the reason I reacted as I did to his latest article is based on a number of reservations and concerns.

1.) The notion of Free Will being a “myth” approaches sacrilege among average Western minds. Our entire history up until this point is predicated on the idea of individual rights and freedoms, as Harari acknowledges. But I’m not aware of anyone who would claim that Free Will can be defined as 100% freedom over oneself with no regard whatsoever for our human, environmental or cultural limitations. Scientific exploration indeed has taught us much about the role genetics play in directing our desires and weaknesses, but are we mere animals bound to deterministic cause and effect? There is plenty of evidence to the contrary in that area as well. We humans are a mixed lot, existing within and impacted by the material realm while also possessing potential to transcend what’s given to us to an extent, at least psychologically. In short, we are both directed by forces beyond our control as well as directors of our own lives, simultaneously.

2.) Blaming Free Will off onto Christianity (though it’d be more apt to include Judaism in this as well) seems to imply that this religion somehow did humans a disservice in this regard, that it lied to us about Reality and our role within it. Furthermore, it appears Harari assumes that individualism didn’t arise organically on its own — that is to say, is a natural part of the evolution of our species. Instead he seems to be arguing that such a notion was born strictly out of this monotheistic religion, which is confusing since which came first, humanity’s trending toward individualism or the idea of individualism being encapsulated within a religious context?

3.) Harari’s argument appears to be that while individualism and the notion of Free Will proved useful previously, it’s no longer of much (if any) value moving forward. Why? Because we have failed at the calling to Know Thyself and therefore are being rendered at the mercy of other humans and the technologies they employ to sway, deceive, control and make money off of us, all while convincing us that we’re actually acting as free agents. Okay, that much I can agree with. We, collectively speaking, have dropped the ball in taking seriously the navigation of our own individual lives, preferring instead to flow with the mainstream channels provided to all of us. But still, recognition of this does not negate the existence of Free Will. Rather, it points to our option to not embrace it (that being an important part of the concept of Free Will). We’re not required to strive to understand it and act upon it, though arguably we should. Because people often prove weak and fail at this task still doesn’t negate the Free Will option (again, despite it not being about 100% freedom since that’s an impossibility; we human beings not being gods in our own right).

4.) It seems that Harari is suggesting that artificial intelligence is coming on the scene, whether any of us like it or not, and that it will necessarily prove dominant over all of us. Okay, that might happen. But is Harari fine with that outcome? Is he suggesting that we should bow down and accept that fate as the “hackable animals” that we apparently are? Is it his opinion that resistance is futile? Because that’s the way it sounds, and that comes across as extremely deterministic, which then causes someone like me to feel pangs in my soul at such a thought.

5.) Harari’s position also seems to leave out consideration over whether this AI-dominated future that’s unfurling will be psychologically compatible with us as human beings. I personally don’t believe it will. Already a good many of us are disturbed by the effects of modern life and are exhibiting chronic symptoms of depression and anxiety as a result. Plus there are the falling birth rates (perhaps due to our “captivity” conditions) and the rising suicide rates among Westerners. It’s possible that we’re heading in a direction that will wind up pushing more of us to the margins of society, if not off a cliff entirely. (Though, some then might argue that’s evidence that we who can’t or won’t adapt are not strong enough in this game for survival, so adios.)

6.) The idea that if we give up our notion of individuality and Free Will we’ll then be free to listen more to others and become more actively engaged in protecting the environment sounds absurd. If anything, this trend would lead to more nihilism which may lead to more violent backlashes and reactionary inclinations to attempt to dismantle society itself. Just sayin’. (Perhaps he would argue that the anarchistic spirit within some is just another genetically-determined drive and/or a manipulated reaction stoked by those with a hidden agenda? *shrugs*) Anyway, why would a person care about a future world where humans aren’t free to be human, where life’s meaning has become trivialized, where our choices and options are supposedly pre-determined, and where Big Brother dominates us all whether we like it or not? Sounds like hell on earth, not a place I’d care about trying to save.

7.) Because science has not (or perhaps cannot) explain a phenomenon doesn’t automatically mean it’s not real. As others have suggested, scientists have barely scratched the surface in trying to make sense of consciousness — and yet, here it remains. What is it? We don’t know. Where did it originate from? We’re not certain. What is its purpose? That remains to be seen. Should we deny it outright and treat it dismissively because scientists can’t explain it? No. We continue studying and pondering on the topic, all while utilizing the very thing we’re unable to understand. Life is paradoxical like that. So much remains a mystery. Yet some place so much faith in human accomplishments and ingenuity that anything that falls outside of that which our sciences can readily explain winds up being treated as if inconsequential. To our detriment, I’ll argue.

8.) Harari speaks disdainfully of those who retreat away from this AI-dominated future vision, preferring instead to turn back toward traditional ways of life and the religions of old. He sees this trend as problematic, refusing to acknowledge that perhaps this too is a perfectly natural response for humans confronting a future that may very well spell our demise. Instead of having compassion for that reaction, he labels it as a threat. Which then gives me the impression that he’s actually in favor of this new world order he speaks of. (New world order = totalitarian in nature, tech-dominated, highly centralized, surveillance-infested, socially-engineered so much as possible, with the emphasis placed on our unity as persons on this globe, no longer citizens of nations.) Much as he seems to be warning us about it, he also appears to be pushing for it, hence why he chastises those who wish to break rank and seek a way to escape or fight back against it. That’s not too cool. Doesn’t sound like someone’s advice I’d care to follow.

So, those are my points of contention with what Harari wrote in the article, as well as what I listened to thus far from the podcast he went on with Sam Harris (uploaded yesterday):

Happened to be cleaning my guns while tuning in, which turned out to be a fine task while concentrating on a conversation of that nature. Then the phone rang and I’ve been distracted ever since. Decided to post this up before resuming listening.

If nothing else is certain to be true, I can safely say it’s a hell of a time to be alive.

______________________________________________________

The next day: I have now listened to the following talk from Harari (uploaded a month ago):

The libertarian woman vs. the “liberal” Leftist (on unwanted pregnancies)

This past weekend I kicked a hornet’s nest on Twitter, resulting in my first big feud on that platform. Granted, since joining in 2012 I hadn’t used the site much for socializing until in recent months when I decided to find out what all the hubbub was about on there. Have been enjoying the memes and humor, but then I wound up following political threads (per my curiosity) which inevitably led to the topic of women’s rights and abortion — a topic I haven’t been as keen to weigh in on in recent times after tiring of dealing with feminists in years prior (and men’s rights activists in more recent years).

Not that women’s rights aren’t important to me. I’m a woman so of course I can’t help but care what laws and social/ideological trends are attempting to impact my life. However, it came to feel like a contest of wits, a political battle where people screamed at one another across the void, incensed that this group or that one could dare to see things differently. So I bowed out for the most part, resolving to accept that the only person I truly have control over is myself and that my energies are best directed there when it comes to protecting and promoting my own individual interests. Partially because I don’t agree with what appears to be the majority of people out in society (because either they’re pro-life and therefore detest my pro-choice stance, or because they’re pro-choice feminists who either celebrate abortions like a right of passage into womanhood and/or advocate for more government involvement in our lives in their efforts to push toward evermore “equality” between the sexes in accordance with their utopian visions for the future).

Before I began identifying with feminism in my late teens/early 20s, I first began identifying with libertarianism. Not the Libertarian Party itself, mind you (was over it back when Bob Barr came on the scene and, though I voted for him twice, am not a big supporter of Gary Johnson), but libertarian (or classical liberal if you prefer) ethos. Individualist strategies for seeking and preserving liberty, in other words. Which boil down to the fundamental principle that I as a human being have dominion, first and foremost, over my own self, my own body. That remains true if we’re talking about the drug war or self-defense and it’s what underpinned my own understanding of feminism/women’s rights.

But feminism took a hard left long ago, perhaps before I was even born, so after 10 years of debating with my fellow feminists and feeling like I was beating my head against a brick wall in attempting to communicate from my own perspective (while being heavily pressured to accept their way of looking at things along with the political positions they, as a collective, overwhelmingly embrace), I exited that movement and ceased referring to myself as a feminist in 2009 or thereabout. We’ve not been on chummy terms since, assuming we ever really were.

Both as a sex worker (in my 20s) and as libertarian-of-sorts (which I remain), I’ve been confronted time and again by feminists with notions that flew counter to my own unfolding understanding of how life works and what reasonable measures can be taken to improve the outcomes we claim to seek. While they busy themselves fighting in the political arena for evermore benefits for women specifically, claiming always that we women are at an inherent disadvantage in a man’s world, I’ve been experiencing and observing quite the opposite reality. More women admitted into colleges with higher test scores on average, more women running for political office, more women rising in ranks within businesses here and abroad, more women heading households, more birth control (and abortion) options allotted to women with legal protections on the federal level guaranteeing access, more freedom to live and work as we choose, more legal protections from sexual assault and harassment out in society (with claims, even without sufficient corroborating evidence, generally being taken more seriously), more products designed with our comfort in mind being marketed to us, etc. And yet feminists are more upset now than probably ever before. More demanding, more sensitive, less consolable, more hysterical, more vengeful toward men in general.

Consider this. Since the Civil Rights era of the 1960s, more out-of-wedlock births have been occurring across all racial and class demographics. At a time when more medical/pharmaceutical technologies exist to curb this trend than ever before, accompanied by legal protections allowing pretty much unfettered access in the U.S. Then, from the 1990s onward we’ve been blessed with so much information at our fingertips thanks to the internet. Nowadays a growing number of teenagers have access to the internet through smartphones: according to Pew Research in 2015 more than 60% of teens have gained this access, even among the lowest educated, lowest income, and racial minorities. And that’s only teenagers, mind you, saying nothing about adults’ increased access.

All the world’s information literally at people’s fingertips.

Leftists like to frame matters in terms of a lack of access, lack of resources, lack of life skills and knowledge to make better decisions. That strikes me as a rather glum view of humanity, giving the impression that they have pretty low expectations of both females and minorities when it comes to directing our own lives. Makes me wonder which came first, women and minorities’ ignorance and evident lack of self-determination, or the Leftist rhetoric that tries to convince us that we are victims of circumstances incapable of directing our own lives successfully?

Dr. Thomas Sowell’s books paint a very different picture, particularly in regard to his own racial demographic (black American), alerting us to the fact that many of these problems arose most markedly AFTER the Civil Rights era, arguing that all Americans actually had lower rates of unwanted pregnancies and crime and higher rates of marriage in decades prior (especially black Americans!). I recommend his books to others as food for thought, particularly: Black Rednecks and White Liberals, The Quest For Cosmic Justice, and Intellectuals and Race. These books can aid us in putting matters in a clearer perspective that we otherwise won’t hear about through our media or our education system.

Here’s a quick takeaway: Ideas being pushed from the Democratic Left aren’t helping people. Not really, despite all claims to the contrary. And the proof is indeed in the pudding.

Now, I’d like to share a bit from my own personal perspective, anecdotal as it is. Some of the Leftists I encounter online like to project onto me their assumptions of what I must be in order to hold the opinions that I do, including that I must be rich (or come from a well-off background) and afforded many opportunities others were not, that I am undoubtedly white (because frickin’ white people suck, right?), and that I haven’t encountered struggles that others face and lack firsthand experience with the topics under discussion at any given time. I’m occasionally mistaken for a man online and berated for being the “type of guy” they’re complaining about.  lol  Seriously. I am also told that I lack sympathy for “victims,” that “it must be nice” to have higher income and greater access to that which they claim other women lack, and they also like to dismiss me as “one of the lucky ones” who pulled myself up by “bootstraps” (a perennial favorite). If my experience doesn’t jibe with their narrative, it must be because I am somehow a super special snowflake all of a sudden, otherwise I must support the dreaded patriarchy. My ignorance must be due to my “privilege.”  Ha!  No shit. Guess I am to be counted as one of the extreme outliers whose experiences don’t count and needn’t be injected into any of their public conversations on any given topic, lest I offend the “real victims” who are trying to share their perspectives without “feeling shamed” by a conflicting point of view.

Ugh…

ALL OF WHICH ARE PROJECTIONS. Unwarranted and inaccurate.

So let’s see how I shake out in accordance with their own so-called “progressive stack.”

First off, I was born to a single mom living with her parents in a trailer in a small town in Mississippi. She became pregnant during her freshman year in college by a Saudi foreign exchange student, resulting in her dropping out of college and returning home. So, while I am Caucasian, less than half of my blood is of European origin. Without going into all of my upbringing and background, I will say I had some advantages while at the same time I most definitely don’t qualify as someone born with a silver spoon in my mouth or as a product of a remarkably stable and nurturing home environment. In the 7th grade I was exposed to one sex education class where protection and STDs were discussed. I dropped out of high school in the 10th grade and completed the GED. That same year, at age 16, I walked into a Planned Parenthood (in the Midwest where I lived at the time) and asked to be put on birth control pills, which were funded by what’s referred to as donation services offered by PP since I had very low income. No parental help with any of that and was living out on my own at the time.

I later attended university by applying for student loans (which I still carry the ever-growing debt from). During that same time period, I got married and 4 years later we divorced. I didn’t want to have kids, so we did not have kids because I remained on birth control (while pressured by a doctor to switch to Depo Provera, a method I absolutely loathed and gained a great deal of weight on). After my ex and I split and moved apart, I became a sex worker at age 21 and remained in that line of work for about 7 years. Still attended college throughout (did I mention I was a Social Sciences major?). Also managed to not get pregnant or contract an STD despite having numerous sexual partners because I remained on birth control pills, used condoms, and screened my clients the best I could.

In 2010, I decided to take a rest from taking hormonal birth control after 13 solid years of usage. A year later, during one careless occasion with a man I was dating at the time the morning-after pill failed and I became pregnant. He, being a decent human being and a close friend, helped me through that time and covered my abortion through Planned Parenthood 6.5 weeks in to the pregnancy. (I have a video where I discuss this matter on my youtube channel and will not go into further detail here.) He and I had for years discussed our positions on abortion and not wanting to have children, so this matter was handled without drama between the two of us. (Though, I will say this: after years of being accused by random people out in society for being a “baby killer” simply for supporting a pro-choice position, such harsh words launched at me since—typically from strangers who do not know me nor about whether or not I ever underwent an abortion—do noticeably sting more.) Tried the Paragard IUD after that and hated it (had it removed within a few months), but I have still managed to remain pregnancy-free, nearly 8 years on. Partly due to dating a partner for a few years there who agreed to undergo a vasectomy, thankfully — it’s nice dating men who give a damn about my health and well-being. (Albeit, clearly further evidence of my “privilege.”)

The last 10+ years I have worked in a different self-employment position where I don’t make much money, partly by choice since I’m not a fan of paying much in the way of taxes to our corrupt government. Personal decision there. I have not been covered by health insurance since I was 12 years old when sent me off to live with other relatives, aside from 1 semester in college many years ago. Yes, I was an avid Obamacare holdout and have been vocal about that. So, not rolling in dough over here or privy to health care coverage that plenty of others do access. Thankfully my health has remained pretty good, now entering my late 30s.

AND it’s not as if I sidestepped all of the pitfalls and vices that commonly plague our society. I drank heavily for a number of years. I smoke cigarettes too and have for over 2 decades (both are expensive habits). I’ve made all kinds of stupid, dangerous decisions in my day and put myself in situations where I am admittedly lucky to have not been more hurt by.

YET STILL I have managed to avoid an unwanted pregnancy 99.99% of the time (and terminated the one mistake that did arise). How is this possible for someone who comes from a poor household originally, who isn’t fully white, who’s female, who’s made bad life choices (according to plenty of people out in society), who’s a high school drop-out, who isn’t earning a high income (or even remotely a middle-class income), who isn’t insured, and who’s considered promiscuous even?

MUST be muh privilege to blame!

Did it require me threatening men to conform to my wishes? Thankfully a couple men in my life agreed to undergo vasectomies, but I’ve been intimate with far more men than just them — so, no. That alone wouldn’t have cut it. Have I ever had a man remove a condom during sex? Yes I have, and they received an earful too. Have I ever experienced negative encounters with men where I felt intimidated? Yes, and thank God I had backup methods or was on birth control pills at the time so as to protect myself. Have I ever encountered pressure from my former spouse to have children? Yes, and I told him he knew my position when he chose to marry me, so he didn’t get his way on that. Have I experienced condoms that either broke or slid off during intercourse? Yes, that’s why it’s best to utilize more than one form of birth control at a time (or use a backup method). Am I claiming accidents never occur? Obviously not.

Am I claiming other women in America can embrace their agency and protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy if they so choose? YES. They could if they really desired to. Am I encouraging others to follow in my footsteps? Well, you all will live however you personally choose, regardless of what I say, but it becomes a problem when you start talking about wanting others, via taxation, to provide women with free birth control (especially when so many—particularly those who can afford it—aren’t demonstrating a willingness to take the responsibility seriously enough thus far) and/or abortions. The idea of state-funded abortions is a real stickler in the U.S. that upsets people whose religious convictions conflict, and I cannot and WILL NOT endorse any plan to force people to fund a practice that they consider immoral to such an extreme level. Similarly, I have a huge moral qualm with paying taxes that fund all these wars/invasions elsewhere around the globe — it’s wrong to compel people to be complicit (going so far as taking money out of their pockets) in matters that injure their soul. People are bound to be far more tolerant of our lifestyle choices if they aren’t foisted upon them or financed by them without their willful compliance. Hence why I don’t support government funding of Planned Parenthood, despite continuing to support that organization 21 years running — donations are the way to go there, not forced funding. Continuing down this path will only create greater social and political divides in this country that I don’t want to see.

Now, I think I’ve written enough on this topic, so if Max Brett () or whomever else wants to keep replying to argue or project, I’m going to go ahead and redirect you here because I’m tired of repeating myself and find Twitter to be a poor platform to try to debate ideas on. I am willing to expand at a later date on differences between libertarianism and Leftism and why the two camps can seem to share certain points of agreement while arriving at those points through totally different means, resulting in a desire for totally different outcomes — but not today. This was a looong post, so that’s enough typing for now.

Good luck, Hungary! (and other nations resisting in Europe!)

The European Union always struck me as a very bad idea. Blatantly Orwellian in nature. And now we watch to see if it will finally unravel under the tensions of its leaders inviting in millions of so-called “refugees” from Africa and elsewhere.

Above is a video discussing what’s happening in Hungary when they refused to allow in droves of illegal aliens (invaders, call them whatever you will). Sanctioned. Threatened with being disallowed a vote while still being taxed by the EU (in other words, straight-up taxation without representation). Vilification. Negative press.

In a January 8th [2018] interview with Germany’s tabloid Bild newspaper, Hungary’s prime minister Viktor Orban said “we don’t see these people as Muslim refugees. We see them as invaders.

Multi-culturalism, he asserted, is an illusion.

That excerpt was from The Globalist article titled “Hungary’s Viktor Orban: Europe’s Flame Thrower” (Jan. 14, 2018).

If you conduct a search yourself you can read all the articles dating back at least a couple of years discussing how the EU was threatening to take actions against Hungary, Poland, Slovakia and the Czech Republic for these nations’ unwillingness to accept a QUOTA of refugees from third-world nations. Primarily Muslim, as we know. It’s beginning to sound like the Eastern European nations ought to start seriously entertaining the idea of exiting the European Union, and I sincerely wish them well if ever they do so.

Consider this. Why would the EU require nations therein to accept refugees who are culturally incompatible?

Wait, stop. Drop all the BS you may have heard about “those poor people needing help.” Suspend beliefs and set aside ideology for a minute and really think about the implications of such a practice. Look around and read and pay attention to how much crime rates have increased in nations like Sweden, Germany, France, Spain, Italy and the UK since going along with this program. It’s not racist to simply open your eyes and be willing to accept information for what it is, in the raw, unfiltered by what we might wish were true.

I personally don’t have any particular vendetta against people from Africa or the Middle East. Not necessarily anyway, though I’m admittedly uncomfortable with Islam, as an American woman who appreciates the legal protections and freedom afforded to us in Western nations with zero interest in ever being made to wear a burqa and no tolerance for female genital mutilation or the taking of underage brides. As someone who’s half Arab by blood, still it’s safe to say I wouldn’t last a day under Saudi Arabia’s rule of law. Probably couldn’t make it off the plane without managing to get myself stoned. So, what informs my opinion, aside from those personal biases, mostly has to do with what I’m observing across societies in over the years. Where I live we luckily don’t have a Muslim migrant problem (which is to say a boost in crime and harassment of women or dangerous enclaves where even the police shun entering), though a state to the north of here does and has plenty of news headlines to attest to it.

Mostly I get nervous when I read and hear what all is going on in Europe. Pew Research findings tell about how Europeans’ ideological positions impact how favorable they view the newcomers. Nevermind being displaced in their own countries. (Perhaps that’s not a great concern to many Westerners anymore…) Beyond that, I read a good many crime reports that are particularly chilling due to the nature of the crimes committed. Stabbings, gang rapes, vicious and senseless attacks on the innocent out in public, and even the occasional beheading. It’s enough to make anyone feel unsafe and unsure of why any nation ought to continue importing people (or at least a very rowdy, violent fraction thereof) intent on dissing the laws and citizens of their host country. All while KNOWING our leaders are doing a shit job of vetting the “refugees” they’re admitting (assuming there’s any way to successfully vet people without identification, documentation or searchable background records from war-torn regions).

(Daaaammnnn…that was savage, but not untrue!)

Why are these migrants in a position where they feel the need to leave their homelands? Particularly young males (much less often bringing along with them women and children). Well, I don’t doubt for a minute that my country’s wars launched in those regions have certainly created, or at least contributed to, the crisis. Air strikes, drone attacks, and arming various groups down there on the ground to fight one another. That part is unfortunately our fault, and by our I’m referring to the U.S. government along with me and you and anyone else here who pays taxes that funds this bullshit (plus whatever other foreign allies aid us in these endeavors). And coming to terms with that is how they get to us. This realization guilts us, as it probably should since our military had no business interfering in half the places it has over the last 17 years. So we get to thinking we owe it to those folks to cart them over here and everywhere else, to give them comfortable places to stay in a far more civilized environment in an effort to make up for government-funded exploits we feel powerless to do much else about.

But that’s the wrong answer. Understandable as this sympathetic response seems, it won’t do us or them any real good to continue with the current strategy. Well, maybe them on down the line— assuming it’s possible for the bulk of “refugees” to ever get their shit together so as to assimilate or to return home and rebuild their nations—but so far it’s clear that those folks don’t fit into our societies or appreciate our ways, expressing feeling alienated within advanced, non-Muslim societies. Their ways contradict our laws. Their expectations and treatment of women results in tragic crimes here where underage girls wind up “groomed” and taken advantage of and adult women are randomly accosted out in public. Even our educational curriculum isn’t appealing to them. Instead they retreat into enclaves where they recreate conditions similar to what they had back home, violating our laws and customs in the process while basically incubating hostile factions within our own borders.

Not too smart, folks. This is the wrong way.

Consider this. With the EU, the U.S., Canada and wherever else pumping millions and millions of dollars into supposedly helping “refugees,” don’t you think that money would be better spent aiding these people to construct communities in their own regions of the world where they speak the language and are accustomed to the cultures, food, and religion? Absolutely it would! But that’s not happening. Why not? Why do you figure all these leaders of Western nations are throwing an absolute fit about wanting to bring in millions more “refugees” in a bid that neither suits those they claim to be helping nor the native populations? Do you think it’s a complete oversight on the part of our leaders, like they’re just somehow too stupid, naive, or ideologically possessed to comprehend what damage is being done? Do you really believe the hype that, like with our issue in the U.S. where Democrats want to open up our borders, it’s because they’re simply desperate for more votes? Do you honestly believe that these leaders are motivated by strong concern over our falling birth rates and, for the benefit of our economies, are working overtime to stock more people seeking employment opportunities to replace those aging out of the rat race? That all of this somehow makes practical business sense?

I don’t.

I think that’s just what we’re being told, because shortsighted as those claims may sound, they’re nowhere near as heinous as the real reasons. I’m beginning to think there is an active agenda to replace native peoples. Why? I’m not certain. Won’t claim to know more than I do here. But why would the EU put that much pressure on nations who refuse to comply with immigration quotas? Because Angela Merkel has a super soft spot for Syrians and Somalians? Gimme a break! You know better than that. She doesn’t give a damn about them just like she obviously doesn’t give a damn about the German people who keep electing (/not ousting) her corrupt ass. There’s obviously more at play here.

Why has it suddenly become so incredibly taboo to say anything deemed offensive against Muslims here in America, the land of crude humor and screwing with one another over everything under the sun? Why must these folks specially be defended as off limits to all humor and derisive comments?

Why are feminists, here and abroad, being trained to betray their own interests (and those of ALL OTHER WOMEN IN SOCIETY) to cater to Muslims by defending hijabs/burqas (symbols of female disempowerment), joining in feigning outrage over cartoons and parroting how Islam is a “religion of peace,” all while ignoring sex crimes against underage girls and women? That’s a mind-bender there.

Why is Canada’s Trudeau falling all over himself to defend Muslims? Why is Theresa May? Why was Obama and Clinton and all the rest? Ideology, sure, but there’s something more to all of this. That’s the surface excuse. It’s what’s been used as a vehicle to make this all seem palatable to those with a liberal persuasion, forever wanting to see themselves as “inclusive” and “open-minded” and “against hate” (except when it comes to conservatives or those within their ranks who talk back without sufficient clout according to their “progressive stack”  ).

Naw! This goes beyond mere Leftist ideology, at least as we commonly know it to be. Think about it: our politicians and leaders care more about money and consolidating power than pretty much anything else on earth. That’s what drives them. So where’s the money incentive here? Fresh cheap labor pools to exploit? Sure, that’s appealing to your average neocon, but here in America we have Mexicans for that (mean as that may sound, you know I’m not making it up — they’ll tell you this themselves). What do a bunch of (more often than not) low-skilled Middle Eastern and African “refugees” bring to the table, especially considering how many of them wind up becoming dependent on government aid and social programs once they are here? Looks like more of a net drain on the coffers of society than anything else.

Is Saudi Arabia somehow behind this? Is there some sort of wheelin’ and dealin’ occurring between our nations in which our leaders agreed to bend over backwards to help Islamify the world? Maybe.

If not Saudi Arabia, then who? You’d think Israel would be opposed to this gameplan, but I guess those Zionist leaders don’t give much of a damn about their Jewish constituency either. Which really wouldn’t be surprising. That’s how heads of states roll. Telling us what we want to hear just enough to keep us from revolting so they can keep milking us as the tax slaves we’re willing to be. Besides, the U.S. keeps Israel very well armed. Though, in a strange turn of events, Obama generously gifted Saudi Arabia with more weapons and money than ever before prior to leaving office, hence why Saudi is now able to lay waste to Yemen like a proper first-world nation.

 

I’m not happy about any of this, but laughing keeps the rage at bay.

Where’s the money trail in all of this? Sure, George Soros is likely using his immense riches to not only recruit Antifa to tear up Starbucks and hit people with bike locks but also to finance pro-Muslim “refugee” efforts. But still, he doesn’t work alone in this. Otherwise he’d be resisted by other powers, yet he’s not. There’s a concerted effort being made here, folks. Who all is involved? No clue. But there’s a big money payout somewhere at the end of this rainbow or else these big dogs would’ve changed their tunes by now. There’s an agenda that we’re not privy to. The folks who talk about Agenda 21 don’t seem to have pegged this correctly either since importing a bunch of high-fertility third-worlders to the first world is the last thing you’d want to do if your ultimate goal is to reduce the human population and our consequent carbon footprints.

Maybe it’s no longer about money…  Maybe they’re already so powerful and wealthy and corrupt that they’re on to the next stage in their plan. We know they like to centralize everything and destroy nation-states through getting them to unionize (e.g. EU). There’s a global agenda in terms of forming an economic superstructure. But then what? Ugh…a line of inquiry I have no answers to and might as well quit chomping on for now…

OK, backing up, what are these “refugees” actually doing in Europe? Attacking people and trying to push Islamic acceptance onto those nations. And what are the leaders doing in response? Ignoring it, making excuses, accusing Europeans of being a bunch of nasty racist xenophobes if they voice their concerns about it. Sounds to me like they’re essentially telling their citizens that their interests no longer align with those they pledged to serve. Basically you’re on your own. Begging for your governments to do a damn thing about any of it is losing battle since they’re the ones responsible for unleashing this problem on you. And they won’t stop. Won’t even slow down. Not even a little bit.

OUR LEADERS DO NOT CARE ABOUT US.

Nobody is going to swoop in to save Europe. Our hands are already full and all of our leaders are in cahoots with one another. Europeans have to figure out a way to save themselves. The United Kingdom made a bold move in voting to exit the EU, but look how long that process is taking and how they’re being punished in the process – WITH THEIR OWN ELECTED LEADER WORKING AGAINST THEM. Yep. Sad but true.

And it turns out disarming swaths of the UK police force (and traffic wardens too?) wasn’t such a bright idea since they now are getting their asses handed to them:

Very sad. Hard to watch. The thugs were brutal and acted with no remorse.

Thank goodness they let a few of ’em keep their tasers.

Not that Sweden’s looking any better:

Yeah, hard not to be embarrassed for them with all that nonsense going on.

Anyway, we like to think if we could reach some sort of critical mass, maybe then the folks in the military would cease taking orders from on high and instead turn their efforts to defending the peoples of the nations they swore to serve and protect. But I’m seeing a whole lot of paycheck-chasers out in the crowd, truth be told. Same as among the domestic police force. Where do you turn for help when this appears to be the situation at present? Keep waiting for shit to change and for more eyes to pop open and for people to find a way to peel ourselves away from our screens long enough to maybe, possibly, do something to enact change?

I don’t know. We may be waiting a long time, folks. And so many are dependent on these systems to where if it came down to it, I think they’ll opt to be on that side of the fence, aligned with their power-hungry leaders, working to protect the lifestyle they’ve grown accustomed to that preserves them in relative comfort. They’ll cry about how they have kids to feed, bills to pay — like they always do. As if nearly everyone isn’t in the same boat on that. But that’s the bootlicker’s favorite excuse. Count on hearing a lot of excuses along those lines.

Hopefully the people of Hungary, Poland, the Czech Republic and now Germany and Italy will prove successful in their ambition to stand up for themselves, their cultures and their values. It’s such a mixed bag over here in America that I’m not sure what sort of effective resistance we’d be capable of constructing anytime soon. A nation utterly divided. Nowhere to run. Preferring to shout at one another on college campuses and online, as if that’ll ever change a thing. Or lose ourselves in video games, television shows and porn. Really useful endeavors such as that occupy our time and energy.

It deserves to be restated that this third-world onslaught isn’t typically my primary focus. Got other concerns on my plate, though I keep an eye on that ordeal since I don’t want it sneaking up on me or my loved ones. We can bet it’s coming here too eventually. Appears to be heading everywhere, worldwide. WHY? Because certain entities out there have decided they want it that way, even if that abandons us to sink or swim. Guess it’s ultimately up to us in the end on how that plays out.

Lastly… “Hungary has cut its illegal migration problem by 99 percent. Foreign Minister Péter Szijjártó explains how”:

The sane road home

Dr. Jordan Peterson is absolutely correct on his views about freedom of speech and how we need to remain free to honestly think out loud. Not simply because we may want to, but because psychologically this is how we process life and living. We think, we talk, we interact, we dispute and debate and ponder and have our thoughts challenged externally and then hopefully internally as we continue onward in processing and attempting to make sense out of life and living. This is an integral process that is non-negotiable for our individual and collective well-being.

This is precisely why our forefathers encapsulated freedom of speech (and to assemble and to disseminate information via a free press) in the very first amendment of our U.S. Constitution, clearly establishing their recognition of this as a primary natural (inalienable) right extended to us from God (meaning extended from outside of mere human jurisdiction), essentially stating that no government should be tolerated to trespass against us in a manner that interrupts/disrupts our freedom to SPEAK and exchange ideas and associate with one another. They did not conjure up this notion out of their own baseless wishful thinking — they discovered this to be an incontrovertible Truth (as likely others who came before them had as well).

This is where we run into the concept of Objective Truth — that which (inescapably) constitutes the substratum for Reality. Meaning it is elemental, uncompromising, and thereby independent of any predilections or social constructionism convictions we might like to overlay and toy around with. All that we humans are capable of perceiving and experiencing rests upon a primordial foundation of such Objective Truths (however many there may prove to be); and consequently, all human endeavors rejecting this prerequisite understanding are destined to fall apart and turn wickedly insane (i.e. non-life-affirming for our species).

(Skeptics and naysayers obviously remain free to investigate such claims about renouncing Objective Truth/Reality and to discover the fruit borne as a result, as untold numbers of people already have and assuredly forever will — it being in our natures as human beings to relentlessly test boundaries.)

Whatever else may appear true down here on the ground among us squabbling humans remains more of a mystery and is partially determined through our clashes against one another and within ourselves, also partially uncovered as Life perpetually reveals itself and shows us the way (most often via demonstrations of what won’t/can’t work, what leads into dead-end abysses from which we can’t escape, what generates tremendous pain and misfortune with little or no subsequent benefit to humankind, etc.). Articulation of thoughts and ideas is an indispensable means through which we parse what we consider to be reality, disregarding what the conversation or argument in question at any given moment between us might be.

The reason we in the United States of America historically place so much emphasis on the First and Second Amendments of our Constitution’s Bill of Rights is precisely BECAUSE such incontrovertible Truths are necessary to accept if any nation is to remain functional (or, for that matter, if any group of people wish to remain intact anywhere at any point in time). Meaning it’s not a choice for us human beings. Rather, it’s a Fact of Life. We must remain free to speak and assemble and share information BECAUSE this is what it means to be human. Remove that capability and watch horrific chaos ensue. Such leads to finding out about ushering in hell on earth by way of distorting our understanding of Reality, disconnecting us from It as well as from one another, twisting our psychologies against our inborn Free Will and any alignment that may prove possible between ourselves and that which we call God.

One only has to look at fairly recent history to find numerous examples where humans’ ambitions led them to create hell on earth: a primary case being the totalitarian Soviet Union of the 20th century (as Dr. Peterson has brought to many of our attention). Also Mao’s China (heck, to an extent even China of today). These systems weren’t bad simply because they were communistic (as many harp on about); they were dangerous because they required control over people’s speech, thoughts, organizational pursuits and media in order to maintain and expand power. ANY SYSTEM that attempts to do the same, regardless of ideological underpinnings, will suffer a similar fate. Doesn’t matter if it purports to be capitalistic or socialistic or theologically-driven. Same difference.

The importance of our 2nd Amendment was to maintain power in the hands of ordinary PEOPLE so as to check our government if ever it turned tyrannical, specifically in regards to tampering with the 1st Amendment which all else in a civil society depends upon. Some like to pretend to not comprehend this concept or dismiss it as archaic and of little or no modern value, yet these people are fools who willfully abdicate their own power under the mistaken belief that those who do rise in the ranks within our System will sustain dedicated interest in the general well-being of the citizenry and upholding our Constitutionally-protected rights, despite repeated evidence to the contrary.

The willfully blind and ignorant seek to place newly-minted legal restrictions—effectively handicaps—on their fellow humans in an effort to bolster the power of the State that so many have grown thoroughly dependent on. This is by design a trap that we humans orchestrate against one another time and time again, learning only when it’s too late what it is we’ve sacrificed and what such folly truly served in the end. That points back to a character “defect” within us born out of fear of embracing personal responsibility — essentially a “failure to launch” in terms of actively engaging one’s own individuation process while struggling within the context of broadly collectivistic (and evermore complex) social dynamics, further complicated by witnessing (and feeling complicit in albeit rendered unable to effectively resist) modern experiments with empire-building and the emergence of globalized centralization projects.

Today so much is commonly framed in a LEGAL context, as if only that which is made lawful is of any real relevance in modern times. Laws are mere codification of that which is deemed customary and necessary in a functioning society. But where do the content of laws spring from? Some from exercises in dispute resolution and imparting justice, but others are not of our direct making, as discussed above. Higher Truths matter regardless of what any law might say. They exist beyond, and cannot be constrained by, any legal code devised by man. We are wise to take into consideration these Truths and to incorporate them into any system (legal or otherwise) we might wish to preserve as functional. Though, unfortunately, laws have a way of becoming jumbled in the minds of people over time, causing difficulty for us to discern between them in terms of status and inevitability. Over time, one law comes to be viewed as equal to any other law, meaning just as modifiable, overturnable and discardable. This is where we go wrong, and soon enough we’ll be shown why.

Turns into an unavoidable lesson on separating the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. It appears we humans are destined to contend with these vital lessons again and again and again, immemorially. Then, this goal is further frustrated by never quite figuring out how to impress the significance of these revelations on the minds of successive generations. So each generation winds up fated with facing the challenge of re-learning what was lost before.

Here we are yet again. Confronting this age-old problem once more, this time in the 21st century. Surrounded by dazzling technologies, connected to people from all over the world online, debating and discussing an infinite number of topics with one another, all while centralizing political and economic schemes unfold across the world in the backdrop. It’s a surreal time to be alive. Also troubling due to countless distractions and information overload accompanied by a deluge of sophisticated (and academically aggregated) thought exercises. A sea of theories and ideas swirl around us. Some better than others, but all requiring our mental energy to suss them out and to try to make sense of their potential relevance. So much is being taught to us, both by teachers and popular personalities broadcasted across societies. Is it any wonder that while living within such bustling, busy times we so often lose track of what’s fundamental?

All comes to appear as little more than just another thought experiment. Politics, legality, ideology, religion, culture, individuality, philosophy, science, psychology, sociality, technology. We rank each according to our personal priorities, regarding such assessments as relative. Most are. Yet fundamentals still remain.

At some point, a society is destined to turn on itself and to lose sight of whatever it was intended to be and originally founded upon. We the people grow too distracted, too casual in our valuations, too soft thanks to comfortable living, to where we no longer can properly discern what is truly fundamental, unable to tease it away from the rest of our preferences and wishful thinking. Progress leads us to thinking that whatever we might dream up can (and should) be somehow brought to fruition. If only we press hard enough, if we “educate” others to see things our way, if we pressure laws to be changed to suit our ideological leanings and visions for the future. We begin looking at ourselves and one another as belonging to teams, political or otherwise, and resort to competing over the most banal matters.

Eventually, we get lost.

Tyranny depends on a confused and disoriented populace. Hence why it sows divisions among us. All serves to distract and keep us busy so that we don’t react against the powers-that-be. Those powers shift and change over the Ages, but always they play a similar game. Who are they? Mere humans. What do they strive for? Power, control, wealth, and a God-like stature that enables them to usher in their particular vision for humanity. Why? Because that’s how human nature works when ambition and greed is allowed to run amok for too long unchecked. What do we do about? Very little considering how tasked we are by our day-to-day obligations and triflings, compounded by our various disputes of however much substance that undermine our ability to unite with one another to launch an effective response (as would be needed to go up against the scope and ferocity of powers at play today). Often we talk about what is wrong with the world and what we ought to do about it. Yet, here we are: watching, listening, waiting, wondering. Feeling pressed. Wishing to stave off conflicts that appear more inevitable with each passing year, hoping our luck will hold out, nevermind future generations likely being left to contend with it on their own (despite their utter lack of preparation to do so).

I get bogged down by these considerations on a regular basis. What is one to do with an outlook such as this? How does one defend against a Leviathan that’s been allowed to grow this massive and powerful? How does one form bonds with their fellows when we’re all so divided and seemingly incapable of coming back together anytime soon? What is one’s individual role in response to this then?

Lots of questions arise, begging for answers I do not know. What we do know is that we must remain free to think and speak honestly if ever there will be a chance of sorting any of this out.

The pondering rolls onward…