“Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts …”

Back to heaviness…

A song I’ve long adored, “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones (set to footage from the Vietnam war):

The song’s lyrics:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door, I must have it painted black

Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facin’ up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin’ sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin’ comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I wanna see your face, painted black
Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

The depths of our human inclination toward destructiveness appears to be bottomless. For these reasons I consider us all to be living in “end times” (for all intents and purposes), whether we care to grasp the severity of the Situation or not. It doesn’t please me, but it is what it is, apparently so. Been coming a long time, and now technologies enable us to kick it into hyper-drive, and so we have. Think we’re going to slow down? Think we’re collectively going to expand our minds and learn to pause and think more carefully before advancing? Think again.

I won’t rule out the possibility entirely though…

Almost seems like the more we drive toward strict rationality, the more irrational we become.

Does the soul not wither, bit by bit, day by day, as we live and confront what’s become of us and how we’ve impacted the rest of life on Earth? We didn’t necessarily mean to — it happens. We’re prideful apes-of-sorts who take actions that throughout time lead to a narrowing of possibilities going forward.

What meaningful action is possible and could prove effective without tons of consequences of its own? There are so many of us, too many — competition rules the day. People awaken to this and can choose to do what? Passively resist like I do by opting to remain relatively poor? Continuing to learn what I can, piping up about what I see as I go, but in the big picture it’s a small drop in the bucket. I don’t shop much anymore (aside from groceries). Feels like the right choice to at least not feed the beasts much more than what’s already being finagled out of me.

But eventually I’ll pass on, leaving no offspring behind, and other people will continue doing what they think they ought to be doing, whatever which ways that shakes out. It’s the trajectory, and I don’t see it changing unless people want to start making a lot of sacrifices, which I am pretty certain they’re not hearin’.

Actively resist with street protests? Sure, I’m down with that, though an arrest could screw up my job. Probably true for most folks. Plus, getting tased or smacked with a nightstick leads to medical bills and lost time at work (in what I do, I don’t get sick days — gotta fulfill my obligations regardless). But we don’t even have big street activism taking place here.

So what then?

(I’d personally love to impeach the president [that goes for any president we’ve had in the last 25 years, at minimum] and at least 75% of Congress and start anew, but the vast majority of my fellow Americans say nay and continue supporting duopoly politics, having convinced themselves that they must select a “winning team” or else they’ve wasted their votes. Just a pipe dream by this point…)

Modern life is all we know. We grew up in this and most of us can’t even begin to get back to basics. And even if we did, up flies the legal red tape to impose property taxes and whatever else to find a way to force people to continue trading in U.S. currency. Which means you have to earn it their way. Which forces you to be somehow tied into the System by some means. How do you sidestep that? Create a group and call yourselves a “religious organization” so as to qualify for tax breaks on property purchased — sounds great, but indoor plumbing still keeps you tied into supporting the System since you gotta pay for that somehow. Same with phones and internet and electricity. Generators require fuel (and most states continue to ban hemp which could be processed into a bio-fuel source).

Though I admire those who do step away from the bullshit as much as possible and produce for themselves.

But even so: Welcome to The Grid. Have fun trying to escape this maze.

‘Round and ’round I go on these topics, and these thoughts are just where I keep winding up at…

Utopian dreams don’t determine actual outcomes.

We’re going on this hand-basket ride whether we like it or not. No one asked our consent, and we’re not required to grant it. But so long as we remain alive in the U.S., we’re going to continue witnessing it all unfold. I can’t see a way around that. Sorry folks.

Also, as relates to the future of humanity… Sincerely wish people would cease producing so many kids. Greater numbers are proving to be a burden on us all. Please have a lot of love in your heart before bringing any child into this world. PLEASE. It’s better for all involved. Beyond that, with too great of numbers comes a consequent reduction in value (as perceived by Society) of each individual. We become too replaceable, too interchangeable. And we know this. We see evidence of this all the time nowadays. That happening in itself leads to a declination in one’s power, and this is observable in the amount of depression and anxiety so many people today report experiencing. We tend to comprehend it on a visceral level prior to exploring the causes.

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3 Responses to “Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts …”

  1. Wyrd Smythe says:

    I was around when that song came out! Also, had I served — something my parents utterly opposed, and my draft number never came up — Vietnam would have been my war.

    • Byenia says:

      Scary to contemplate being drafted to serve in Vietnam. That was a bastard of a war by all accounts.

      • Wyrd Smythe says:

        It’s *possible* my technical background might have kept me out of the worst of it (at least as a grunt), plus I have extremely flat feet, so who knows.

        But yeah, a real bastard of a war. Even for a war.

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