Apparently I’m not being clear enough: by all means, don’t marry and please do cease having kids

Maybe my videos are not clear enough and perhaps it’s asking too much for others to follow discussions in related comment threads, but I’ll state it here for the world to see: I do not take issue with the idea of people choosing not to marry, and I seriously wish far fewer people were having kids.

The first issue of marriage: I’m not a big fan of having to have our unions determined by the State. That’s between individuals, and I’d love to see us find ways to determine how these unions will go for our own selves, modeled in accordance with our own situations, agreements, and beliefs. I was married once and personally don’t see the point in needing to pay what amounts to yet another form of taxation in order to first get married and then to later dissolve the marriage.

However, because I take this position in no way means I’m personally in favor of men and women simply polarizing and refusing to engage in relationships with one another. That sounds like more throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and it’s not healthy for us as individuals or as communities (though I suppose of certain individuals prefer it that way for themselves, then to each their own). Undoubtedly there are 3rd and 4th ways people can go to avoid the legal trap while still choosing to partake in relationships with members of whatever sex they are attracted to.

Should pre-nups be respected by the courts? Yes, they should. Should the notion of common law marriage be reevaluated and possibly removed from the table? Yes, I think that definitely deserves scrutiny. We as individuals and couples should be able to navigate relationships largely on our own choosing and decide how property and assets will be divvied up in the event of one or both parties choosing to leave the partnership (preferably drawn up and put in writing beforehand so it’s crystal clear what the conditions are in advance).

And that’s all made SO much simpler to handle when kids aren’t involved in the equation.

So, on to point two: Please cease breeding. Most folks are demonstrating their unwillingness to take the role of parenting seriously and we already have at least two generations of fucked up individuals running loose in society currently — why add to that? The reasons to not have kids are numerous, from freeing oneself up to have more free time and energy and to not become tied down to a job you hate just so you can support a full household of dependents, to protecting young people from having to come into a life where everyone and everything’s off its rocker, to simplifying our romantic relationships and providing less leverage for the State to get up in our business and increasingly put a stranglehold on us, to removing people’s ability to use kids to extort money out of their partners, etc. There are so many good reasons to avoid having kids and so few for why kids ought to be brought here right about now that I personally side with not having them. There are plenty of kids out here already suffering and needing help and attention, so why not tend to them instead of introducing in more when plenty will likely only wind up abused and/or neglected and/or used in promoting parents’ own narrow financial interests, all of this at a time when ALL CHILDREN we clearly see WILL be used as tools and pawns by the State? I do believe kids deserve better than that, call me a sap.

If the goal is to not produce children, then the situation becomes much easier to handle, because there are permanent birth control methods already available to both sexes. Taking power into one’s own hands here removes the risks involved in trusting others who may or may not prove to be reliable in this area. If I were a man who had to rely on women’s claims that they are on birth control pills and take them each and every day as they must in order to remain effective, I would opt for a vasectomy instead (or Vasalgel/RISUG once that option becomes available). That’s me. But because I am a woman I was in control of taking birth control pills myself and did take them religiously (until I met a partner who opted to undergo a vasectomy) because it means so incredibly much to me to avoid unwanted pregnancies. I wouldn’t likely trust someone else with that responsibility because I am so set in how I personally feel about having kids, especially in unplanned situations.

That’s just how I happen to see this. Others can (and surely will) disagree.

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