“Not All”

That video was by a youtuber named Colttaine. First heard of his channel through one of I, Hypocrite’s videos. Very reasonable guy from what I’ve watched thus far.

“GRAPHIC ! – Migrant Muslims ‘Adapting’ to European Societies”

Individualism vs. collectivism / fascism and communism and our resistance

Couldn’t agree more with this man’s talk here:

First video by him I’ve watched thus far.

Another good video I viewed this evening was Styxhexenhammer666’s “Anti-Antifa and Similar Movements Have Begun to Proliferate and Grow”:

I’m a fan and subscriber of Styx’s channel for a few months now. Very much in agreement with his message there. We do have to concern ourselves about public perception and sticking to principles. The Left as a movement has gone off the rails. Communism remains alive and well obviously. Western values and civilizations are under attack by this. BUT, our role now is to respond only and properly in self-defense. They have a right to free speech as well, though they behave like a bunch of bigots in aiming to restrict and disrupt the free speech of others, like Milo Yiannopoulos.


Geoff Thompson discussing suffering and confronting our fears:

If you’re not yet familiar with Geoff’s videos, now’s a great time to become acquainted.

I always feel a bit better after listening to Geoff speak on a subject.

Films that left an impression: “Fire Walk With Me” and “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”

A film my teenage mind could’ve probably done without, much as I loved it at the time, David Lynch’s “Fire Walk With Me”:

How Laura Palmer died, in case you never wanted to know, for those who cared much for the Twin Peaks tv series:

I wound up watching “Fire Walk With Me” first before purchasing the Twin Peaks series since it had came out back when I was too young to care about it. Not a big fan of the tv series, to be frank, but the film “Fire Walk With Me” made a big impression. Pretty sure I first viewed it after I met my (now ex-)husband, so probably when I was 18 or 19 then. Fucked me all up. Watched it many times. Particularly disturbing to learn David Lynch created that film with the help of his own daughter. That must be one hell of a relationship, if not entirely screwy.

Wouldn’t try viewing that one with my dad. Doubt he’d even care for it. Was uncomfortable enough, though, when he suggested we watch “Hedwing and the Angry Inch” back when I was 21 (said he also got my younger brother to view it with him too — not sure what all that was about, was afraid to ask). This being its trailer:

That trailer didn’t do the film justice. I remember it being pretty depressing actually. Gender discord, botched surgery, failed romances and despair.

Ted Bundy spoke in his final hours (plus my thoughts on pornography and violent programming)

“Serial Killer Ted Bundy: Final Interview – Only Hours Before Execution – Full”:

[Dammit. Just figured out that second clip begins repeating the whole interview around the 8-minute mark. (And the first of these was cropped in an annoying fashion.) The original video of the full interview I’d found and posted up has since been removed from youtube, so we’ll have to work with this until a better version is uploaded.]

Ted Bundy has interested me since I was about 18 and first read Ann Rule’s book on him titled Stranger Beside Me. She actually knew Ted personally from way back when and struggled to accept the allegations against him were true even while writing that book. But his own admissions soon thereafter erased all of her doubts.

He’s the kind of man the death penalty remains in existence for. Because, as should be obvious to anyone, he did not possess self-control and was psychologically demented on such a level that rehabilitation and re-entrance into society would have never been possible. Though I am glad that in his later years he took time and effort to explore why he had done what he did to all those people and then came out pointing to factors that contributed to his depravity (while clearly stating his family life had not expressly been the culprit).

But I didn’t post this up just to lambast this man any more than has been done already. Actually, I share this interview because a part of me has always been fascinated with this man’s thought process and actions for reasons that make me more than a little uncomfortable in my own skin. In short, on some level I get how and why he became a monster, and I share his stated view that coming up exposed to extreme forms of violence and hardcore pornography does unarguably impact and damage our imaginations and psyche, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

I say that as someone who watched anything and everything violent and grotesque out of curiosity, beginning when I was too young and continuing on until fairly recent times. My own imagination has been darkened and distorted on account of such exposure as well, and perhaps this is partly due to underlying personality traits that make some of us more receptive to entertaining destructive fantasies, as Bundy pondered on as well. He had the benefit of a pretty good family and home life and had access to quality educational opportunities that he took advantage of — and yet, even those ‘safety nets’ proved insufficient in his case.

Now, in my own case, I do not harbor fantasies anywhere near as destructive as those he carried out, nor have I ever behaved violent on a scale even remotely similar to what he was convicted of. BUT, I have nevertheless been impacted, partly even by learning of this man’s story. Back when I first began studying up on Ted Bundy during my young marriage, I grew extremely paranoid of men in general and opportunistic attackers particularly. My first response was to draw drastic contrast between myself and men of his ilk, wishing to clearly demarcate between a psychology such as he possessed versus my own. But in the more than a decade since beginning this inquiry, honestly the lines have become more blurred. Continue reading

Friday Evening Unwind

Done with work for the day, sipping wine spritzers, in the mood for tunes.

A few songs I’ve been listening to again more recently in my car. Beginning with”Beware of the Boys (Mundian To Bach Ke)” by Panjabi MC featuring Jay-Z:

Loved that song since my early 20s.

Another couple of goodies I’ve been listening to again lately but have already posted before on this blog are Mary J. Blige’s “Family Affair” and Nappy Roots’ “Po’ Folks.”  biggrin_green

Moving on to tunes by Talib Kweli, beginning with his song “Get By”:

Here’s a great one by him featuring Mary J. Blige, “I Try”:

An upside down kingdom where life is just not fair (upside down kingdom)
So many sufferin’ cuz deep inside they’re scared (so scared)
Fear pumped into their veins to keep them from their destiny
Where would they be if you and I don’t care?


Life is a beautiful struggle
People search through the rubble for a suitable hustle
Some people usin’ the noodle, some people usin’ the muscle
Some people put it all together, make it fit like a puzzle

Those lyrics right there are so true.

Here’s his powerful song “Bushonomics,” featuring Cornel West:

LOVE that song.

Here’s his “Self Construction”:

So good knowing hip-hop remains alive and well. Talib Kweli is entirely underrated and just not getting the exposure his music deserves.

Lastly is his song “Hot Thing”: