Journaling Friday night in the new year

Just got off the phone with my best guyfriend. Love that guy. A true-blue friend to the end. Helped me put things back in a better perspective.

Life is a gift. Never guaranteed tomorrow. Reflecting on people whose lives have been cut short or who just are no longer with us. Imagining some of their circumstances and how their passing leaves their loved ones’ mourning. Definitely puts my own little ongoing “existential crisis” in proper perspective. I am a lucky human being. I live in America and have an apartment that’s pretty comfortable, a solid roof over my head without worries on how to pay the rent each month, have food in my belly regularly that tastes great, enjoy indoor plumbing and heating during these cold Midwestern winters. And I have awesome friends, real people who aren’t afraid to speak their minds and tell it like they see it while coming from a place of good faith. That’s a big blessing. Plus, I still have my Grandma.

Don’t even feel the need to cut the man down to feel better about where I’m standing right now. This was all inevitable, and we both knew that. And that’s fine. It is better this way, truly it is. I know this, and I also know I’m a lot stronger these days than I once was. Proof is in the pudding. I got this. Just had to mourn a bit, per my custom, but it’s all right. I’m feeling better tonight already. Thoughts like to roam and ruminate, that’s a given, and the stupid alcohol cravings like to pester me when stressed out. Drinking never fixed a damn thing, though, so no worries about falling in that trap again. Would be too disappointing to give in to that again — takes too much strength to keep trying to quit over and over. Once the line is cut, it’s best to leave it alone. SO VERY GRATEFUL that I quit drinking in 2017, allowing me to approach 2018 without that weighing me down and messing with my emotions and basically fueling the drama in my life. It’s a choice, but I am so glad that I made it and have stood by it.

It’s easy to get down on oneself and just focus on the negative, but sometimes I just have to pause and recognize my own accomplishments so as to make that sense of futility back the heck up. Doing better than I was 7 months ago. Doing better than I was in summer of 2016 when I took sabbatical in Mississippi, and even back 3 years ago. Learned a lot through that leg of the journey. Can’t fully regret it due to its lessons presented, even the really painful stuff. In a way, it’s all a blessing since it did provide valuable insight and new perspectives. Living and learning…

Stupid earworm of the week that I finally caved into and am listening to on YT currently:

That gem was Hall & Oates’ “She’s Gone.” Literally have been waking up to that song playing in my head for the last 4 days. LOL! How dumb. On one hand super-annoying, but also kinda funny since I do love that song but my brain is such a drama queen. That song just keeps circling through my mind this week, pestering the hell out of me, but tonight I find it delightfully goofy. Not sure if that part of my brain is trying to torment or amuse me, but it succeeded at both. Ha

A comment someone left that cracked me up:

If John Oates’ mustache couldn’t keep her from leaving, nothing could.

Gotta love the internet. 

Time for another tune.

One that it helps me to listen to occasionally is “Getting Better (All the Time)” by the Blind Boys of Alabama:

Just a beautiful, humbling song.

Gotta keep on keeping on. Onward and hopefully upward. Try to walk like a more upright human being, despite being a monkey who isn’t as evolved as imagined.

My compulsivity remains a challenge to continue wrestling with. And so be it.

Very lucky when the power of love touches our lives, even when it’s accompanied with pain. Probably can’t have one without the other.

Always have to return to that one.

I know I’ve got this. Truly am in a better space these days. Helps to reassure myself occasionally, versus just berating myself for not being where I think I ought to already be. Life is not a race.

Ben Harper’s “Where Could I Go”:

There’s no deal to be made with the dawn…

The truest truth.

But the verse that’s been on my mind again a lot lately is where he says:

They say freedom is just another place to hide

Something about that rings so true…

“Well Well Well” by Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama:

Excuse-making is something we’re really, really good at.

Switching gears, Led Zeppelin’s “Ramble On”:

Tonight is kind of a rough night. My head hurts, lungs hurt, eyes hurt. I’m pretty emotional. But it’s going to be okay. Been down this road many times already with him and need to step on. Everything tells me so and has for a long time now. Only holding myself back at this point. Not even sure what the hell I’m afraid of anymore. Thought about all my supposed fears and I can see their irrationality. Amazing how seeing a problem really is only the first step and doesn’t remedy it much, but c’est la vie. Some say seeing is half the battle. But I have been inching into the future and made a good bit of progress already, so it’s not likely we’re stepping up from rock bottom. Attachments are hard to let go of, but it can’t be helped. Severance is necessary. Besides, he said and did enough bullshit himself, and I really don’t need that anymore. We’re not bad people, but we are on such different tracks. And at the end of the day it’s not even really about him. He’s just been made the focal point over time. This is my own journey, and I have a responsibility to myself to take better care of me, including cutting ties that wind up perpetuating pain and stifling personal growth. The back and forth and repeated game changes and general drama have run their course. There’s no going back to that. Not even if invited once again. It’s no good for anybody involved. And now I really need to be the one strong enough to keep walking. Keep caring but maintain distance. Return to my own life without him playing a central role within it. Can’t focus on my own shit when we’re hanging around with one another. Way too distracting with no positive end in sight. We know this.

The jealousy will pass. And I’ll try to keep busier during the evening hours so that I don’t concentrate on him being out with the new woman. He needs to move on, and hopefully he stays safe in doing so. But I don’t like being lied to, and I’m so sick of our drama. He riles me the hell up, and it never changes. Says stuff that just drops my jaw sometimes, but whatever. That’s his life to manage and navigate. I don’t want to stand too close to it anymore.

On the upside, I did demonstrate that I could quit drinking while still hanging around a heavy drinker. Dawned on me that people say not to do that probably because it can be so difficult, but I did it and it was easier than even I expected. Because I am truly wanting to be completely done with that lifestyle. Of course he’ll remain in it, and a part of me does get jealous of that, even though I’ve come to loathe the barscene. Part of me gets to feeling like I’m being left out, like that life is moving on without me. But that’s such a dumb thought. I’m moving on, regardless of what it or they are doing. Sure, it used to be fun at times, but I’ve paid my dues on the downside of what comes out of it too and don’t want it anymore. That may be his life, but it’s not mine nowadays, and I need to find new directions to turn my attention. Sitting around toying with the internet isn’t enough, and I really need to get out more. To where? I don’t yet know. Maybe just go on walks when it’s not too icy.

Feel like I just need to take care of myself right now. The last 7 years have been a really tumultuous ride that I want off of. But at the same time, it’s disorienting for that ride to halt so abruptly. It’s done it before and it’s always jarring. But oh well. Let this be the last time.

Too much solitude does make me nervous. And that’s the fear I have to confront.

Music for a fallen one

A song he liked to listen to during the first year I knew him (1999), Everlast’s “What It’s Like”:

Never listen to that song without remembering him. And its sentiment permeated my life from thereon, now nearly 20 years later.

A tune from the time when we moved just south of Memphis (2001-2002), System of a Down’s “Toxicity”:

From the same band, “Aerials”:

He enjoyed Metallica too.

That was “Nothing Else Matters.”

Metallica’s “The Unforgiven”:

His taste in music left a definite impression on me.

Everlast “Ends”:

Nirvana’s “Polly”:

Dwight Yoakam – “A Thousand Miles From Nowhere”:

Dwight Yoakam’s “Suspicious Minds”:

I recall having that one as my ringtone for his phone number after we separated. Though I always preferred Elvis Presley’s original version.

Moby’s “Natural Blues”:

“Streets of Bakersfield” by Buck Owens (this rendition including Dwight Yoakam):

Kid Rock – “Bawitdaba”:

Lastly, Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing”:

A bit of an inside story on that last one. Young love is a funny thing.

Today was his birthday. He would’ve been 37 years old, but instead he died just shy of his 32nd birthday. We never again met in person after late 2002, then later quit speaking altogether for at least 4 years until I finally looked him up on Facebook a few years ago and contacted him. We talked on the phone a few times, maybe 4 times total, over the span of a couple years. Made as much peace as we could with the past. And then Grandma called one day out of the blue to say she heard he may have passed, and sure enough, it was him.

He’s never not been on my mind, though I remain glad that we went our separate ways back when we did. Our young relationship had run its course. But we made a big impact on one another during our time together, as we discussed a bit during our final phone calls. Went through a lot together and changed one another, for better or worse. Every year around this time I always recognize him in my thoughts, wondering what the afterlife must be like, if such a thing exists. Wondering if he truly found a sense of peace. Strange to have outlived him — still doesn’t seem quite real that he’s no longer among the living.

I’m forever grateful that we did talk on the phone and decided to let bygones be bygones, having no way of knowing what the future held in store. Had I waited on calling him, we might never have spoken again, and I’d hate for that to have been the case, considering it really seemed to help in letting old resentments go. Goes to show that we never know when our time is up, so say what ya gotta say now while there’s still time. No guarantees on tomorrow for any of us.

Rest in peace, EHF.

Distancing music

By that I specifically am referring to creating distance from social and/or romantic entanglements as can prove necessary. But whatever else may be applicable.

Beginning with Stabbing Westward’s “Save Yourself”:

That one probably sticks with me since it came out in my early teen years. Heard it many, many times over the years. True sentiment expressed there in the chorus.

Cedric Burnside’s “Washy My Hands”:

A true artist there. The real deal. Grandson of the great R.L. Burnside.

Firefall’s “Strange Way”:

Led Zeppelin’s “Since I’ve Been Loving You”:

That was “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who.

“Lunatic Fringe” by Red Rider:

Sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. Can’t. Too many problems, too many incompatibilities. Of course I’m still referring to the same situation I’ve been involved in for several years now. But whatever. Think we both understand by now how much this isn’t working. Gotta leave it alone and let it rest, go our own ways. Being retardedly magnetically attracted to one another hasn’t served us well over time.

But I don’t regret the relationship, and he says the same. Learned a lot from it. We now have our own individual problems needing to be tended to, and we don’t accomplish that well in one another’s presence. A hard lesson learned again and again throughout time. But he’s not a bad guy. We do appreciate one another. Just became an unworkable situation. C’est la vie. Problems are cumulative. But I do feel like a better person after having known that man, crazy as we drove one another. Learned a lot. Some of which he intended to teach but also plenty that he did not. Either way, he’s family and will remain so regardless of what the future brings. He acknowledges this as well. Both so tired of this sad situation not appreciably improving enough.

Life is what it is. Nobody promised us a rose garden. BUT our own conduct and choices do matter an awful lot. Undeniably. Not all simply random chance roll of the dice. We do impact this unfolding, obviously. The development of our individual potential is on us and can’t be fully determined by anybody else, no matter what we may go through with them. The blame game is one of the oldest obstacles confronting humankind. The responsibility ultimately lies with us as individual persons. Fault is one thing, but responsibility is entirely another. Can’t be helped. Such is life.

There are so many good things out here in the world. Good and bad, but still there is good too. Opportunities. So many reasons to remain curious. So much to learn and inspect. It’s going to be okay, or at least it will be what it will be. We only have so much control when up against Nature. But what control we do possess does matter. More than we seem to realize.

More tunes for March 2017 (Johnny Cash and others)

That was “Motherless Child” by the Blind Boys of Alabama. Love that tune. Haunts me regularly throughout the years since I stumbled across it.

Another that stays in my mind, “Heartworn Highways” by Townes Van Zandt:

That video always gets to me.

Johnny Cash – “Hurt”:

Lord God, he brought so much power and meaning to that Nine Inch Nails song. Mr. Johnny Cash, my heart continues to go out to you and yours. It’s obvious that man suffered with his being, with his humanity and choices and decisions. And he provided so much amazing art reflecting his contention. Forever amazing. Modern-age gospel.

One I can’t help adore is “Were You There When They Crucified My Lord” by Johnny Cash:

“God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Mr. Johnny Cash:

True. Nature will inevitably eventually cut us down. If our own social and political bullshit doesn’t cut us down first.

“Rusty Cage” by Johnny Cash (with lyrics):

To bed I go.

More music for mid-February 2017

Sifting through songs I uploaded to my YT channel in recent years. All probably posted on here previously, but oh well.

“Hallucination” by David Bowie (from the Labyrinth soundtrack):

“Time To Let It Go” by Cedric Burnside & Lightnin’ Malcolm:

“I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself” by The White Stripes:

“Would You Lay With Me (In a Field of Stone)” — David Allan Coe:

Beautiful song there. David Allan Coe possessed so much talent, despite his raunchier musical creations that some continue to take issue with.

“I Put a Spell On You” — Nina Simone:

A beautiful rendition of that song. Never tire of listening to her sing it.

One I rarely listen to these days, “Lilac Wine” by Nina Simone:

Very beautiful song. Timeless.

Listen to me, why is everything so hazy?

Isn’t that he, or am I going crazy, dear? …

Such a heavy song…

“Runnin’ Down a Dream” by Tom Petty:

Footage there captured during my 2013 South-bound trek driving into Memphis.

“Lonesome Valley” — Fairfield Four:

Another South-bound trek captured there.

On that note I am heading to bed. Have a few appointments around noon tomorrow.

Back to music in mid-February 2017 (plus thoughts for the evening)

Had a nice evening. My former stopped over for dinner (the first time in many months since he’s been over here) and to spend time with the kitty. She adores him. They have their own little games they play that I just can’t recreate for her in as exciting of a manner. Tonight I decided to try my hand at a recipe I haven’t attempted in probably 5 years now: Chicken Pot Pie Stew. It comes together in a crockpot cooked on low for about 5 hours. Into it went two skinless/boneless chicken breasts, 1 can of cream of chicken, 1 can of cream of potato, 1 bag of mixed frozen vegetables, a small bag of tiny potatoes cut into halves, seasoning salts, fresh-pressed garlic, nearly 2 cups of milk, onion powder (should’ve added more of that), salt and pepper — served with biscuits on the side (went with canned biscuits — will leave making homemade biscuits to my Grandma, great as hers always are). Turned out well enough. Not fabulous but pretty darn good. Easy meal for a winter night (though it doesn’t feel like winter here lately, crazily enough for this month when we’d normally be knee-deep in snow).

Headed back to his place for a few brews while watching the show Cops. Heh  Yeah, we’re super-cool like that. cool  Chatted about memories from Memphis and New Orleans trips and he reminisced about his run-ins with local cops back in the day (nearly two decades ago). Casual Friday night chit-chat before he headed to bed to rest up after a long, hard work-week. And now I am back home with a few tunes on the brain, per my norm.

One that keeps running through my mind this week is Moby’s “One of These Mornings”:

Beautiful song. Comes back across my radar from time to time.

While over at his place I did read a couple articles in last week’s newspaper, and come to find out the two main stories on the front page both relate with a woman I used to volunteer alongside in that Quaker peace-community organization years back. She’s a Hispanic woman from a South American country (if memory serves me right) who offers counsel to other local Hispanics (who make up our largest minority in this city and state). There’s local talk about trying to turn our public schools into “sanctuaries” for illegal immigrant students. These are K-12 schools, not colleges as I’ve heard about in states like California. But one article stated that the agreement they arrived at does not block school officials from cooperating with federal immigration officials if ever contacted by them, though they have yet to ever be contacted by ICE officials, the article reported. So it appears to mostly be a symbolic gesture in that regard, which I don’t have a major problem with so long as it’s not taken too far beyond that. I’m cool with the Hispanic residents we have around here and have never had trouble of any sort with any of them. Seem like fine people to me. Many of them work very hard and aim to stay out of criminal mischief, so that’s good. BUT problems do arise when it comes to the question of receiving government aid and whatnot — it’s a matter that will have to be reckoned with and sorted out as time goes on. Just so that it can be resolved and handled in an effective manner, hopefully.

Anyway, there was a fairly large protest staged downtown recently, come to find out, where reportedly hundreds of migrant Hispanics and Muslims and their allies showed up trying to press for more “sanctuary” measures in this state. Heard about it the other day but rarely go downtown and so didn’t see the protest myself. This woman I used to volunteer alongside with is proving to be a focal point in these stories because she provides legal and social aid to Hispanic immigrants, some of whom she claims are receiving more discrimination “over the last 9 months” (to quote from the article) than ever before in this city. Hard to imagine since I’ve never heard anyone here locally express anything but respect toward our Hispanic residents (and people do seem to love to tell me their racial grievances behind closed doors). Have heard some grumbling about some of the Muslims here, but that’s obviously a separate matter since they belong to completely separate cultures and religions. The concerns she relayed didn’t sound terrible. No beatings or attacks. Claims of some bullying in schools, whatever that might amount to. We’re a relatively crime-free area, particularly on this side of town, and so I’m imagining some classmates probably said some rude stuff to one another over the Trump election. As is to be expected among youths. We weren’t any nicer toward one another in the ’80s or ’90s, I promise you that much.

Still, I can see where she’s aiming to make her organization and her position within it seem more relevant in light of current mainstream media hysteria. Not that she seemed to have many local stories to work with or at least didn’t describe specific cases where we might become alarmed. All this pushing for “sanctuary” protection from the federal government is kinda odd though. Our state has been good about taking in refugees in the past, and we’re overall a pretty dang friendly community. Lots of caring people around who aren’t squalling to have people deported — quite the contrary. Myself included, when it comes to law-abiding Hispanics in particular. So when she says that some of her people don’t feel as safe here anymore, I’m wondering how much of that has to do with their perceptions changing due to current events in the news. Because locally we seem to be very abiding and helpful and not looking to sabotage these folks’ interests for nefarious reasons. Probably couldn’t ask for a better community than the one we’ve stumbled upon here. I know my gratitude has been growing since relocating to this area a little over a decade back. Good economy, plenty of job opportunities, friendly residents for the most part, low crime rate (compared to plenty of other big cities), greater respect for social freedom (in terms of choice of religion, political views and sexual orientation, especially compared to small towns in the Deep South), good quality utility companies and road crews and the like, etc. PLUS the cops and city councilpersons interviewed in the articles expressed care about hearing from their ethnic communities and stated they shouldn’t be afraid to report crimes regardless of their immigration status. This is probably the best a lot of us out here can hope for, so why people keep complaining over every little thing they can find to niggle about (on the front page of the local newspaper, no less) remains a bit of a mystery to me. Not saying that in anger, just in earnest.

Sometimes we’re better off counting our blessings. For they too might be gone one day…

Returning to music. Ground Up’s “People”:

Footage there was from my last South-bound trek back in 2016. Probably already posted that song on here before, but it’s still playing regularly in my car.

A song I have yet to entirely tire of, Red Rider’s “Lunatic Fringe”:

Lunatic fringe
In the twilight’s last gleaming
This is open season
But you won’t get too far
Cause you gotta blame someone
For your own confusion
We’re on guard this time
(On guard this time)
Against your final solution …

We all contain gremlins. Bad ideas, bad inclinations. Troublesome desires at times. Rage and wrath. Comes with the territory of being human. Good to ponder on that during calm moments too.

“Lord Have Mercy On Me” by Junior Kimbrough:

Another playing regularly in my car in recent months. Never tire of that one in particular. A prayer in a song.

“Burnin’ Sky” by Bad Company:

That one plays in my car regularly too.

Another personal favorite, “Ride With Yourself” by Rhino Bucket:

Footage there shown from my 2013 South-bound trek.

Another good one, “It Keeps You Runnin'” by The Doobie Brothers:

“Song to the Siren” by This Mortal Coil:

Very pretty song. Solemn and humbling. Like a prayer unto itself.

“Bitter Sweet Symphony” by The Verve:

Loved that one since it came out in the late ’90s. Never tire of it.

I can’t change my mold. No, no no …

Have you ever been down? …

Another I rarely tire of, “Her Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles” by Captain Beefheart:

Far as I can see she loves me …

I can’t see what she sees in a man like me, but she says she loves me …


“Mea Culpa” by Enigma:

Sometimes we prove to be the “bad guys” in other people’s lives, whether we set out to do so intentionally or not. Stupid decisions can leave marks for many years, come to find out. Doesn’t require an external authority to teach one this lesson either. And sometimes our pain winds up being our best teacher. Hard lessons learned can prove to be a godsend.

Pausing for Valentine’s Day…

Back in for the night and no longer in the mood to worry about the world’s problems. Not tonight. Needing to switch gears and show my softer side some attention.

Didn’t expect to have plans this evening. Just worked and came back home and prepared to lounge. Then my former texted to invite me over for pizza. Got ready and headed over and was surprised to see he’d bought me a bouquet of roses and a box of my favorite chocolates. And there I showed up with a bottle of Gatorade, a granola bar, and dark chocolate square — grabbing a few things I had around the kitchen, having not planned for us getting one another anything. That was really sweet of him. Watched the show The Big Bang Theory, then Family Guy and Robot Chicken, as we like to do. Was a nice, peaceful evening. No arguing. No grumbling.

One of the roses broke off its stem on the way home, so it’s now sitting on my desk in its own little mini vase. Very cute.

Kinda got me sentimental, ‘course I’ve been a little sentimental the last few days already. Not sure why exactly. Forever adjusting to what is…

Don’t really feel like writing much. Just gonna play a few songs I’ve long loved. Beginning with one that’s been on my mind since waking up this morning. Must’ve revisited me in a dream. “Captain of Her Heart” by Double:

A perennial favorite, Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb”:

Another long-time favorite, The Doobie Brothers’ “Long Train Runnin'”:

That may just be my all-time favorite from that band.

The Cure’s “Love Song”:

“I Can See For Miles” by The Who:

That’s enough for tonight. Need to finish unwinding and head to bed.

Late October 2016 tunes and update

Had a good day today. Went biking with my trainer this afternoon. Shared a nice meal with my former partner this evening before hitting my favorite watering hole and beating a score that’s been bugging me for a long while on the megatouch machine (yeah, lame like that, lol). Then met an interesting couple who engaged me in a lively political discussion. The female of the couple was especially nice and I look forward to chatting with her again in the future. From Croatia and unable to vote in our country thus far, but very knowledgeable and up on what’s going on. Stayed out a little late talking with her and am now home with my own cheap brews (Busch Lights) and internet and smokie. wink  No problems here today. cool

Other than dining at a fast-food restaurant earlier before my bicycling appointment. Ugh. Gonna learn one of these days…  Rare as these diversions have become. Had healthier snacks stocked at home and KNEW IT. Also knew my former companion was cooking us dinner tonight, which turned out to be a yummy meatloaf (his is the only one I’ve ever liked), potato casserole, and steamed broccoli.  smile

Biked my ass off today though. Really pushed it. Partly because my bicycle got set in a funky gear and refused to cooperate otherwise. But fuck it. I probably needed that. Heh  My trainer’s a good one and I appreciate the few bike rides we do decide to take. Probably only biked about 3 times this year thus far. Loathe the heat. Blessed Fall.  Fall and spring are my favorite seasons.  nod

Another thing I’ve been appreciating are the cruising tunes I most recently burnt to a CD to play in my car. Don’t have a fancy, newfangled automobile with wifi-capability or Sirius radio. Hitting the town in a 2003 Ford these days. And so be it. That’s fine. Relatively easy and cheaper to work on, comparably to my last 2004 Hyundai or my previous 2002 Dodge Ram. We’ll take what we can get at this point.

So let’s play some of those tunes here tonight.

That was “Woke Up This Morning” by Alabama 3.

“Wash My Hands” by Cedric Burnside Project:

That’s not the exact version I have downloaded. But a very talented young man, most definitely. The grandson of the great R.L. Burnside.

Speaking of which, R.L. Burnside’s “Goin’ Down South”:

Yeah, it is bad, ya know?

I’m going with you, babe, I’m going with you baby
I don’t care where you go


Switching gears, another tune playing is “Country Ghetto” by JJ Grey and Mofro:

Switching gears again, Marilyn Manson’s “Personal Jesus”:

Love both that and the Depeche Mode versions.

“2 + 2 = 5” by Radiohead:

That was a cool live version.

This video might not be the best but I do adore listening to this song, “Satisfy” by MOONZz:

Good night.

The iconic performance art of Marilyn Manson (part two)

Part one can be found here. Continuing on this evening…


One of my long-time top favorites, the very sultry remake of “I Put a Spell On You”:

“Diary of a Dope Fiend”:


Another favorite, “Minute of Decay”:

I’d love to live this lie…

“Rock ‘n Roll Nigger”:

“Irresponsible Hate Anthem”:

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers

I don’t need to choose a side…

“The Reflecting God”:

“Antichrist Superstar”:

“Angel With the Scabbed Wings”:

“Dried up, Tied, and Dead to the World”:


That’s enough of that for now.

The iconic performance art of Marilyn Manson

And then I became ill, once again. Am now taking antibiotics that are not compatible with alcohol consumption (will make a person violently sick if mixed, as I’ve discovered on this drug in years past) and so am forced to take a week off from drinking. Probably a blessing in disguise there. Might actually file my frickin’ taxes finally, with only two weeks left to go on that, and work on revamping my business website so that I can roll out new local advertising in an effort to beef up my income. Maybe I’ll also bore myself into creating a new youtube video as well. Maybe. We’ll see.

In the meantime (while tending to laundry on this dreary, cold, rainy day), let’s look back on the tunes of Marilyn Manson, an iconic figure most influential during my youth. Was a big fan of his music in the ’90s and early 2000s and admit to not keeping up with his new stuff since, but hope to soon enough sit with his newer albums to find out what I’ve been missing. But for today let’s stick with what’s well-known and loved.

Beginning with the remade song that initially sealed the deal for so many of us, “Sweet Dreams”:

“Prelude (The Family Trip)”:

Always liked that intro.  reddevil

“Get Your Gunn”:

“Cake And Sodomy”:

White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy…


“Dope Hat”:

“Snake Eyes and Sissies”:

“My Monkey”:

Weird song right there. Yup.

“Misery Machine”:

Time to create a part 2.