Loose thoughts on the anti-feminist sentiment

I have mixed feelings over the anti-feminist sentiment expressed by plenty in the online “manosphere.” Me personally, I do not consider myself anti-feminist so much as non-feminist. Feminism, taken as a whole, has had its positive contributions, legally and philosophically, but it has also overstepped in many places and increasingly appears to have gone haywire. The more I continue to learn about how feminism has developed in American society, the more aware I am that it’s turned into bubblegum lunacy on the surface and serious political dysfunction underneath. But whatever. Cultures are influx — just the way of modern times. We see where we’ve been, so now it’s a question of where to go from here.

As stated many times already, this whole system as it stands today appears unsustainable on innumerable levels. Might keep it running on for many years to come, but eventually it’s going down. That’s what I personally see. And inside this super-society we have all these bureaucracies and special interest groups and incestuous relations between Big Business and the government. Feminism is asserting itself today as a definitive part of that scheme. It bolsters a Big Government setup, full-on. Because what is feminism without the power of a State to back it up? It relies on Big Government to legally impose an increasingly restrictive way of life on the citizenry. Dogma + the power of the government = tyranny. Feminism has developed into one arm among many in this modern beast of a society that’s been constructed over the last century.

Human aspirations gone wild. Politically. Economically. Scientifically (and pseudo-scientifically too). Socially. Romantically. Professionally. A whole new world. Unprecedented in scope and complexity.

We live in the era of rapid game-changing. Not entirely brand new, been going on a long time, just sped up as time moved on, and now here we stand.

Leaves me not knowing most days whether to laugh or cry. Crazy times we live in.

Because of this realization I try to exercise greater patience with my fellow humans and myself. We were all born into this and can fall into traps without realizing it for years, if ever. Humans have an ingrained need for a sense of belonging — it’s just natural. But now we live in a time when it’s out with the old and in with the new, which includes bringing more and more people the option to identify with an assortment of mass movements. Takes shit to a whole other level.

How few stop to question if everything’s gotten too big and too complex to where it’s become a machine operating on its own after having gathered enough momentum? And is this even the right road to be traveling on? I don’t personally think so, which leaves me out here in outfield observing what’s unfolding.

Dismiss that as the backwardness of some freakish paleo-paleo-paleo conservative (or uneducated, unenlightened ape) if one must, but that’s pretty much the vantage point I’m operating with nowadays. So all this feminist vs. anti-feminist, Republican vs. Democrat, leftist vs. rightist, Big Government vs. ambitions for Bigger Government, religiosity vs. atheism, widespread educational indoctrination, corporatism run amok, etc., etc., etc. bullshit does nothing really for me. Though I can’t help but take note since this is the present reality we’re contending with, it’s so off-the-hook to where I do what I can to take a step back from it all. Crazy times being an understatement.

So what is anti-feminism to me? Just another “ism” in a sea of plenty. People want to fight and feud, then fine. We’re prone to do that. Though I hate to see us lose sight of the question of what it’s all for. Where are we trying to go to from here? Are we becoming little more than a bunch of nihilists pursuing entertainment, and if not, what are we as individuals and groups striving for? What end goals are people envisioning out here? And do they really think expanding State power is the best way to achieve these ambitions? I, for one, do not.

It comes down to all being a big question.

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Recorded the post above on August 3, 2014:

Zoning in on the least capable of being reasonable — where does it get you?

This song came across my headphones one day last week and really struck me, so I uploaded it with a fitting piece of artwork by glooh on DeviantArt:

That was Gary Moore singing “Oh, Pretty Woman.”

I dig it.

While re-listening to this again tonight, reflecting on a recent conversation with an MRA online, I want to elaborate on and adjust what I was trying to say in the end when talking about not focusing so much attention on feminism and feminists and instead speaking to us out here in the general audience and public. Already are invited into our homes via this screen, so say what you have to say. Bickering back and forth with feminists is a real turn-off for plenty of us out here.

Ok, well, expanding on that, what struck me today is that if you’re interested in debating feminists, why not address the presumably reasonable feminists instead of talking to and equating all feminists with the fringe extremists? Because MRAs seriously need to understand that they’re most often online interacting with young women and girls who call themselves feminists without realizing all the wrongs being done in feminism’s name. Many don’t know, despite their air of self-assurance.

Hell, back right after I made my first feminism video on my YT channel (in 2012, 3-4 years after denouncing the label of feminist and several years since really keeping up with much pertaining to the movement) people started piping up about VAWA and I had to go look it up. There’s feminism in the abstract and feminism as it plays out through the political manipulation of public policy. Not that feminism is alone in exploiting the system in this manner, but then again, who’s exploiting whom?

Anyway, I so often read or hear men talking online about the extreme views expressed by the likes of Valerie Solanas or Andrea Dworkin, when most feminists and women in general alive today aren’t up on all of that. Many, many women don’t explore the extreme end of feminism, because it’s not their thing and they consider much of it inconsequential. Not that mainstream feminism is much better, but even there, I don’t think most females out here keep up on a whole lot of what’s going on beyond social media outlets, if even that.

But let’s assume that, by-and-large, the most vocal self-described feminists online these days are typically young, naive and throwing themselves into a movement in search of a sense of identity (as people like to do) or expressing extreme viewpoints. Those don’t qualify as the most reasonable feminists in existence, obviously. Maybe, by addressing those feminists most likely to give a damn about MRM concerns and other reasonable women instead of zoning in on extremist examples few out here are knowledgeable about or in agreement with, those guys wouldn’t come across as so combative and therefore wouldn’t likely turn more people off than on. The men’s rights movement, or at least popular factions within it, are coming across as not too terribly different from those on the extreme end of feminism. That’s according to my and plenty of others’ observations. But people are going to do what people are going to do.

But whatever. How much can I care about a political movement?  *shrugs* Would be nice if people could help form and spread an ethic concerning boundaries, both personally and politically, that rises above the petty tit-for-tat demonization-fest so commonly found across the men’s rights movement (as well as the MGTOW deviation) and feminism currently.

Is it me, or do mass movements—whether aspiring or established—always turn idiocratic?

Because apparently I can’t get enough of Paul Elam this week

Reposting the comment left there:

Okay. Decided today to peruse your channel—in an aim to be fair—and this video I, by-and-large, do agree with. Here you sound much more reasonable, which is what confounds me about some of the other shit you write, man.

Now, I do think you over-inflate men’s innocence, similar to how feminists like to over-inflate women’s innocence. While people like to think exaggerations are useful to even the score, it really just makes it look like both ends of the scale tip too far off-base. Would be nice if we could assess the situation without so many distortions and biases, but I suppose that’s impossible since we each live behind our own eyes. Subjective, emotional, irrational beings striving to be reasonable (or at least create the semblance of such).

Lots and lots of people are unhappy, both men and women, and material gain doesn’t alleviate that despite some hoping it will. So it seems obvious that we’re living lives out of balance and that something seriously needs to give.

Feminism has gone too far and is creating more problems than it remedies these days, that’s a given. But it really disturbs me when I read some of what you’ve put out there, like you’re just trying to scare the shit out of women. Acquit all men in rape cases involving women, nevermind all the other crimes men are falsely accused of and convicted for, like drug possession and homicides. When you zone in on what will scare and psychically hurt women most, you not only offend feminists and draw attention to your movement and organization, you detract from its value in many of our eyes.

All the men I know, once I’ve introduced them to your material of that nature and other videos on YT, have asked me to leave people like you alone. Three now have referred to you guys as a “hate group” (doesn’t matter if that’s consider illogical, it’s the sentiment that matters), all of which do support issues like fathers’ rights in custody cases and aren’t particularly fond of feminism or feminists. Yet they don’t want to come your way, because those sort of messages (“bash-a-bitch month,” really?) do not jibe with decent men with values and caring relationships. And it obviously doesn’t do much for women either, even some of us who take serious issue with both mainstream and so-called radical feminism.

It just makes me wonder what kind of people you are angling to attract, the lowest hanging fruit? For popularity purposes to grow the organization? But those types of people are poisoning your well and turning people off, and you come across as encouraging them. I understand you guys want attention drawn to what you’re trying to do here, but that approach leaves a very bitter taste and causes conflicts.

What we need, IMO, regardless of sex, is some sort of philosophical and moral impetus made possible by embracing sane principles. Currently so much is headed in the direction of tyranny and even more coercive exploitation and, like John Hembling even stated, totalitarianism is already here in the U.S. Academic and policy-influencing branches of feminism play right into that, I do get it. So we’re looking pretty fucked, and all this gender war crap is getting in the way and creating a distraction. Men need a balance of rights restored, I agree, but battling it out in the political and academic spheres is quite honestly just fueling the fire that’s previously been lit. What people don’t need is a mirror of feminism, lest we usher in the scenario presented in George Orwell’s dystopic classic Nineteen-Eighty-Four. Just sayin’. That’s one area where I personally can’t help but get hung up. I’d much rather see men go their own individual ways than mirror feminists. This system is fucking people up, and any further pandering for rights within it is just catering to an illusion. That is my opinion at this point in the game.

And can women play a pivotal role in lessening some burdens by deeply considering males’ perspectives? Absolutely. That’s integral, hence why I appreciate this video. It really does start with each of us individually, and that can’t help but relate back to the principles and ethics we’re guided by. (Spoken like a true hypocrite, yes.)

Anyway, go ahead and dismiss me as “histrionic” or some shit if any of you have read this far and feel the need.  lol  I don’t care. Just felt like writing this. Might even write more on my blog. As to be expected from us attention whores. But whatever. This is my honest reaction, all jokes aside. $.02.

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Gonna ramble out some thoughts now here in my own space…

Human interactions are obviously complex, and in many cases it does indeed take two to tango. But, women can be abusive and women can instigate escalating situations where violence becomes more probable to occur. Won’t even try denying that since I myself have tested that boundary and it’s taken time to awaken to the unfairness of that double-standard. But, then again, I’ve also known my fair share of male shit-asses in my day too (neighbors, spouses/lovers of friends, a few persons I’ve dated, strangers met out in public, etc.). BUT, there are lots of female shit-asses out there too, including a few I’m related to (did a number on me too). Women and men obviously can and do severely impact us all. And apparently we Americans (collectively speaking) haven’t been right in the head for at least 60 years (thank you television), or has it been 100 (World Wars, photography, telegraphs, and radio — opening up a global perspective to us)? Our technologies have quite visibly been life changing, and the impact from that factor alone can so totally NOT be underestimated. We all are contending with a whole new ballgame.

I’ve heard in other videos Paul’s co-hosted how crazy he considers most women to be, and there’s some truth there, but I see us all getting funny-funny. Because we’re trying to live up to ultimately unsatisfying and unnatural expectations, regardless of whether we mean well or not. Some give up and turn to scamming, that’s true. And some have blamed our partners incessantly for our own individual lack of happiness — also true. Women may be bad about that, but isn’t it also true that we’re all prone toward blaming, or at least taking shit out on, those closest to us?

Because I grew up my whole life observing my Papa treat my Grandma rudely and with a blatant lack of respect, despite her working very hard both in the home and full-time outside of the home to keep the family going (per the custom of their era). And I watched her silently take it most of the time. Learned while growing up that their kids had witnessed him being outright physically abusive toward her back when he drank. That’s a fact of my family situation. She wasn’t very happy, but she stayed by him. Partly because she felt economically dependent, partly because she was scared to do anything else. Didn’t believe in herself as capable and competent to manage life all on her own, especially not with kids in tow. And she also related worries about Papa not being able to cope on his own either. I love both of my grandparents immensely, but there he was harsh and he was wrong, and I grew up knowing that, seeing that, living with them at times and daily hearing that. I remember as a young teen resolving to never be in my Grandma’s position — I’d rather play the role of my Papa if I were forced to choose. And that probably didn’t help my outlook on life.

I’ve seen myself take shit out on romantic partners, and I’ve seen my romantic partners take shit out on me. I know how that sort of thing can escalate, and I have a runaway mouth sometimes that I have been actively working to curb in recent times. Verbally hitting below the belt can hurt as much, if not more, than outright physically striking a person. That’s the truth, and I’ve been guilty of that. Had partners who’ve been guilty of that too, but I’ve picked up a bad habit there over time. Gonna admit it. Trying to become better. Continuing to work on it and been making progress. But whatever. I have all sorts of issues to reckon with. Many do. Certainly not solidly a woman thing, as is obvious to anyone with much life experience.

The thing I do tend to appreciate about some of the men’s content online is that it has served to check me and encourages me to look more deeply at myself and my behaviors. The vitriol, though, probably only exacerbates the problem. Depends on who’s saying what though. Won’t pretend I’ve become saintly in the two years since coming across this corner of the internet, but it has impacted my thinking, and occasionally for the better. Wish rather than compete with feminists men actually talked to us women and communicated what they want, what they are experiencing, and how we’re making them feel. That actually helps. Referring to us as a load of cunts better off avoided, not so much. That sort of shit just makes me want to distance myself and stokes the embers of rebellion. And for what? Gets us where?

Anyway, tuckered myself out on that topic for the evening (maybe even for the week).

Came to a decision today

With Mother’s Day approaching, I’ve had some things on my mind. Realized a few days ago the holiday is upon us, then drug my feet.

Then today I ran into a woman I spoke to about a month ago a few times, she being a neighbor of someone I work for. We wound up in a few deep conversations, she being what some might describe as a “mystic Christian” of sorts and in her 50s. Met her originally quite a while back but didn’t know what to think of her right off. Still don’t. But that’s irrelevant to the story that’s on my mind tonight.

We got to talking a little about where we come from, places and then people and then family, and she expressed her doneness with her own mother as of about 4 years ago or so. Well, I’ve been very estranged from my mother for over a decade and our relationship has been eroding all my life, most markedly from age 10 onward. Continue reading

My mood changes like this state’s weather…

As people around here like to say: Don’t like the weather? Wait a day.

Sounds like my moods lately. ha

Fucking snowed today. Thankfully didn’t stick though. Tired of winter, but not yet ready for summer and wish we could enjoy a nice, long spring. I’ve come to love walking when the flowers set to blooming.

I get down and then get back up again, then get knocked down, then get pissed, then laugh it off a bit, then find something else to occupy my time for a while until something else swings around. So goes life. It helps to not have to get up so early and go out so late as I did most of last week. Schedules like that keep this night owl from getting much rest, which only exacerbates whatever else is going on.

(Ha! Found a creative video to go with that song. Used to watch Fraggle Rock all the time when I was little.)

But we work with what we’ve got.

Tax season certainly puts a damper on things too. Fuck this income tax setup.

Seriously. Someone I know and love earning under $50.000/yr., living basically month to month like everybody else and totally needing expensive and necessary repairs on his house, says he’s already paid in $1200 in 2014 so far. That is some kind of fucked up, especially considering how much he’s also dinged for medical insurance. Fucking economic slavery is what it turns out to be — paying your bills and just trying to keep getting by. Aging all the while. He works really hard for his money — harder than any man I’ve ever personally witnessed. He lives with injuries. Has to work, and thankfully is exceptionally skilled at his job. But still. No money left over to save, living month to month, like so many in our country. Getting by.

And the government’s gonna step in and skim money off the top, extracting straight out of people’s pay before they receive their checks. Seriously? Why in god’s name did anybody ever agree to that setup? Fucking idiots. Repeat after me: if we’re going to pay taxes, it’s not going to be a high percentage and we’re going to determine how the money’s spent. As it stands now the laws are uber-complex and neverending to where maybe only lawyers and judges have any clue how to interpret what’s going on. We the people have lost complete control of the reins over our government. No real good excuse for us to continue allowing it to be this way. The top corporations pay less percentage-wise (if they pay any at all) toward taxes than average Americans, and just think what 7% means coming from economic giants clearing annual profits like that. Fucking mind-blowing. Major corporations should be much more heavily taxed — damn right — partly because we need the money but also because that’s the only way to check them and keep them from dominating and buying up everything else. We’re confronting corporate conglomerates in this day and age — shit the world’s never before seen. How do we check their power if not financially? And it takes some major entity answerable to the public’s social and moral interests, like government (if we could keep it under our thumbs), to help enforce decisions and demand compliance through legal sanctions. That’s how we deal with corporations. But we need to employ different strategies when it comes to our personal and social realm.

Just veered off on a completely different thought when I went for more water. Had this thought before but so far haven’t committed to it the way I know I ought to. It relates to something I do have the power to change and ought to for the sake of a particular friend who means a lot to me. He deserves it, I deserve it — good for all involved. No real downside aside from requiring effort on my part, which for a long time I haven’t been dedicating. Shame on me. Times are gonna have to change, and I’m responsible for making that happen at least in this particular arena.

Gotta check ourselves too. Muy muy importante. Not always fun, but necessary. Lots of lessons learned the hard way, and that’s just the way it sometimes goes. Helps to have some sort of light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, to look forward to. Ideals of sorts. Draws one’s soul toward something. But not all ambitions lead toward light, that I have figured out.

To be continued another time… Bedtime for now.

Friday afternoon thoughts

Home for an hour before I have to head back out to work.

Been thinking. This year has started out just as rough as the last. People can blame the individual for their circumstances all they want, but it doesn’t necessarily change a thing. I realize I should be doing a number of things according to what others believe is needed to make personal improvements, but the reality is that I am losing faith in this whole societal project and am experiencing a great deal of turmoil inside in relation to my life and past that I seem unable to move away from. We tend to refer to this as being depressed, so I’ll use that term too for simplicity’s sake. An internet pal referred me recently to the German term “weltschmerz” which mean “world-weariness,” and I find that’s more fitting.

Continue reading

Things that make you go hmmm

Just watched and was responding to this gem by TheMythofFeminism where he’s playing semantic games over the whole creation of life process in trying to frame men as the “creators” of our species while minimizing women’s role as mere “incubator.”

Well anyway, I said something about that sounding like something I’d expect from an evangelical creationist type and that feminists aim to frame shit in the same sort of way to make it seem like women hold a superior position. Then it hit me how feminists have been aligning with the Christian Right, bizarrely enough, in recent years so as to go tag-team on the anti-pornography business. So if guys like this employ feminist tactics to bias their conclusions in an attempt to favor the male sex, is it just a matter of time before a number of MRAs and/or MGTOWs align with the Christian Right in an attempt to ban abortion (or could that come about vicariously through aiming to bolster paternal rights, an idea suggested by TAR ICO in the comment section of that video)? Maybe so. Never know. Never expected mainstream feminism to find reasons to bond with patriarchal Christian types either.

That whole becoming allies so as to achieve a common objective (even if sworn enemies) bs makes me uncomfortable. Politics is saturated with that shit enough already — seems no movement is immune to it.

Better check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. But you won’t.

The flight from boredom produces many odd results…

But who really cares about the future anymore? Looks like we’re just a bunch of nihilists now, dreaming of test-tube babies, with some fantasizing about doing away with the other sex altogether. Weird. It’s not only unnatural, it sounds like a mindfucking bad idea. But humans are going to do what humans are going to do.

Personally it looks like we’re actively creating hell on earth with such nonsense aspirations, but people (generally speaking) tend to need to step in it before they figure out where they stand.

Guess this is the downside to two generations raised up on a steady diet of science fiction novels and films. The authoritarian mindset warps the technological possibilities to suit agendas and then sets to spreading memes to others who feel oppressed and are seeking some sort of advantage.

The human imagination is an amazing, powerful vehicle — that much is true.

A question of courage when confronted with abuses of power

Was just watching another video compilation of police brutality. Not too hard to find videos like that anymore. Very upsetting footage I keep coming across. And when I’m watching these people being beaten and tasered and shot, many of them unarmed, my mind gets stuck calling out “Jesus.” And I think it’s a prayer, more like a begging. It’s in moments when I witness shit like that when it’s clear why people turn to religious belief systems. Because life and most especially humans can be fucking wicked, and you just so badly want to believe in some sort of higher order in this universe capable of overcoming and setting right what’s happening here. Humans are preying on one another, and we’ve created so much unnecessary suffering. Power goes straight to people’s heads and they can turn in to merciless tyrants.

The weight of that reality is just so heavy. It bothers me to no end how much shit we have going on, but I don’t know what to do. Gotta do something, but don’t know what to do.

I gotta say it — I’m sick and fucking tired of the folks out and about who demand that we all smile and put on an act and pretend life is peachy or else accuse us of being “too negative” or “too serious” when in reality we’re all reacting to so much negativity around us. People do so in different ways, and some prefer to follow a ‘script’. Those folks demand that you suck it up and pretend it away, for their benefit and convenience because they don’t want to know. More fun to squabble over ground-level bullshit. They’ve told me so many times over the years that they are happier not knowing what’s happening around them in society and that people like me are assholes for sharing it with them. Well, goddamn it — sticking our heads in the sand doesn’t make the shit go away. We like to think it’s not our problem, until the day comes when it is…

For several years I researched more about my country than I ever planned to—curiosity killed the cat—and it left it me so sick in the spirit. And during that time as I was learning and watching and reading intensively (and finally graduated from college during that phase), most of my so-called “friends” went away, one by one. Turned out they preferred mindless bar chatter or sitcoms or vampire movies or getting high and doing nothing or chasing tail, but they sure as hell didn’t want someone like me confronting them with news stories and clips and so many questions. And to be honest, it all kinda fucked me up worse than I was already, first in trying to come to terms with the world I live in on a deeper level and then having to accept that most folks prefer to tune out and not explore much about it.

That confuses me. I don’t see how shit will change if we’re unwilling to look at it. You have to go down in that abyss and examine it and sit with it for long hours before you get sick enough to put your foot down and say “NO.” Because change starts with us, right? But if the majority prefer to remain as ignorant as possible, then what? And if those witnessing injustices up-close and personal just stand there and do nothing, say nothing, what happens then? I know what happens then…shit gets worse, because power concedes nothing without a demand. To quote Fredrick Douglass:

This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.

It was true before he said, when he said, and it remains just as true today.

But now that we live in the era of technologies and distractions galore, we are able to entertain ourselves to death, and people refer to that as happiness. Past a point, I don’t understand that. Fun and games can’t last forever, and all the distractions in the world can’t erase injustices.

More and more, my own view on the matter is that everything’s become too centralized and the common people are being led because we handed over our power, thinking we could exchange it for a sense of security. Now too many of us live as scared, impotent beings worried about our own boats not getting rocked. But they will be rocked and even overturned eventually.

Yeah, I can understand why people search for answers outside of humanity and why they so desperately cling to the belief that there’s more to this life than what’s directly behind and before us. Because without such aspirations I imagine many people would just give up. It would feel like all hope was lost if they only had to base their existence on trying to dodge the bullshit going on out in society, with no expectation of shit ever improving while losing their sense of agency.

It makes me a little more sympathetic to the people who hide their eyes, because they are afraid and learning more only scares them into paralysis. What do you say to them? How do you ease their minds and stoke their courage? Hell, how do I stoke my own?

It’s a wild ride, this life. How does one take in the horrors and not comprehend how we factor in, how we are also responsible for allowing so much of this to go on unchecked? From the wars waged with our tax dollars to economic imperatives devastating communities as collateral damage, we’re fucking up. From employing personal means of escapism just so we can cope to jacking around with everybody else’s lives and freedom because we can’t or won’t sweep our own damn doorsteps and acknowledge the skeletons in our own closets, we are hurting ourselves and one another. And this continues on because we are ruled by fear.

Fear of what? Fear of being exposed for what we are? Fear of being shunned by the rest of the herd? Fear of giving up conveniences we’ve grown accustomed to? Fear of suffering or maybe even dying? Fear of failing or losing? We’re afraid of so much, but why?

It’s only life after all.

Reminds me of a saying that goes through my mind often enough: it’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees. Isn’t that still true or do we even comprehend that anymore?

We are primal underneath it all and we are powerful, and that hasn’t changed. But we’ve forgotten that thanks to choosing the domesticated route. One thing we shouldn’t forget is that the most dangerous predators we face today are other people and constructs created by humans. Nature was tough enough to contend with; now we have that plus welcome to the concrete jungle.

Rolling over and taking it never solved a thing.

Yet here we stand. Divided and conquered.

Sad state of affairs we got going on in the U.S. I’m certain it’s no better in plenty of other countries. We have a lot of problems on our hands, and it’s not yet a crime to state it plain, though apparently it makes one unpopular to do so. The ones choosing to behave as sheep follow wherever power leads, so I suppose it’s the job of those who give a damn and are interested in investigating to call out abuses of power until the rest come around to paying attention, assuming they ever do.

Back when involved in the local peace community (call us “social justice warriors” if you must) in 2008-2011 we were instructed that it’s best not to bring up problems unless we can also offer ideas toward a solution. Okay, well, that kinda cramps my style, but here goes one perspective on the matter: I’ve addressed on this blog and in videos on YT that it would likely be in the majority of humans’ best interest to provide more for our own selves and to bring power back down more to local levels where we as individuals actually have some influence. Because we’re disconnected and being swept along at this point, living in a huge society ran by crooks who are more interested in exploiting us than protecting us, and we’ve lost meaningful control over so much to where many are rendered anxious and depressed (which further fucks up our social relations). Have a look at the statistics on that last point — people are suffering and this shit is not going to prove sustainable. People say it would be asking too much to drastically overhaul the present framework of society, but either we take the initiative or wait for it to eventually implode and plunge us down to deeper depths in the process. That’s our choice, so far as I’ve been able to figure it, and we’ve been presented with the notion of this reality for a long time, dating back at least a couple thousand years. It’s been coming and it will keep coming unless enough of us take up more effective strategies.

Societal perfection isn’t a realistic aspiration, most especially not in large-scale societies. We’re not all the same and we aren’t all compatible enough to live slammed together under a shared umbrella. The United States “melting pot” origins have proven this clearly enough. There came to be too many of us with too much diversity, and our conflicting demands bogged the system down. Now it’s broken and is being used as a vehicle for big corporate and banking interests since we the citizens lost control of the reins during all the radical transitions over the last 200 years. So goes being distracted and increasingly disconnected. Tough situation.

Makes me think perhaps I don’t give us Americans enough credit. As a nation we’re contending with incredible diversity which began at day one once Europeans found their way here and took to decimating the native populations. Most countries elsewhere on the globe experienced more homogenous circumstances for lengthy periods of time throughout history. The U.S. has played the role of modern-age laboratory, and one lesson we’re learning is that there’s no such thing as too big to fail. Guess it depends on how one defines success and failure though.

That’s enough thoughts for tonight.

The game holds so little appeal

Been giving a topic plenty of thought periodically, and here’s the conclusion I keep coming to: my desire to opt out of buying into society’s game doesn’t stem from rebellion so much as truly taking issue with how unfairly rigged shit’s become for everybody. It’s an all-consuming game that most folks never really win, even if it appears so relative to one another. And this sets up a moral conundrum, seeing as how it’s ultimately unsustainable where it stands now and where it’s headed. So, aside from being a jerk, my motivation there is more complex than “rebel without a cause or clue” antics.

Just wanted to state that. The question of what I’m doing and what’s my motivation comes back around frequently, as it should, and I keep coming up concluding that there’s something fundamentally unstable about what we have going on today and what people think they’re trying to do, so why go along with it any more than I have to? Might make me look like a stubborn mule, but so be it. Opting out where able is required, at least at this juncture, for following my bliss.

This notion that we all need to view ourselves as belonging on the same team strikes me as kinda eerie sometimes. Necessary at times, but not always. Some of us are coming to terms with and learning to embrace our supposed obsolescence, but that needn’t lead to submitting to the status quo without any resistance. If the setup is unsuitable, it’s unsuitable, and that doesn’t change just because it’s damn-near insurmountable.

If I’m doing others a favor by figuring out what’s best for me so that I can be reasonably happy, then I need to maintain the flexibility and freedom of expressiveness to call bullshit where I see it and to avoid it if possible. Regardless of what laws are on the books or what the majority might wish to believe on any given matter. That’s them, and this is me.

I worry too damn much about some people’s reactions to my way of being that it’s warped me into something I don’t wish to be. Actually felt like I was freer a decade back and then something got blocked up along the way. Overload of feedback from others began overwhelming me in a big way, especially considering how much of it was conflicting. Now I’ve come to a point where I really do need to reclaim myself and my own personal space and figure out where to focus more of my attention. But directing my energy toward playing the game better or in a more socially-acceptable fashion still isn’t going to be the aim.

On our sexual and social problems

Done with being gloomy for the week. If people think my moods change frequently, well, so do aspects of my life. C’est la vie. Drama comes and drama goes. Got plans in mind moving forward that hopefully will help minimize some of the bs I’ve been experiencing acutely over the last couple of years, and time will tell how successful these strategies prove to be. Either way, barreling on…

Tonight I’m rewatching Eric Orwoll’s video titled “Sexual Problems”:

Previously viewed the video by someone called BlitheringGenius and actually liked it as well, but Orwoll’s thoughts in reply interest me this evening.

For the record, I’m not saying any of this in reply to either of those guys’ videos…just thinking aloud.

First off, it’s quite apparent our culture is pushing some extreme shit these days, and popular media especially plays into that by weaving and illustrating “fantasies” that get into our psyches and tap into our competitive tendencies. There’s more to titillate, distract, overwhelm, and entertain us than any other time in history. Plus there’s economic pressures and coming up surrounded by massive institutions and corporate hierarchies. Unprecedented times we live in. Technologies through the roof and out the wahoo. Psychology rules in this age of marketing, social engineering (directly intentional or otherwise), global politics, and visual artistic mediums. This new reality cannot be overemphasized. Land of confusion, for sure.

Women and men are played in different ways. Always have been, likely always will be. And in changing ways, sometimes rapidly changing. Like gender role confusion and how we’re all being crammed into the new-age work paradigm. And we’re being sold these strange fantasies that aren’t truly in the best interest for womankind specifically or humankind generally. We womenfolk are being manipulated in some seriously fucked up ways, and we all know it, though the impact is being attributed to the female character categorically as if we’re all hardwired to act just like so. Well, we’re not, and 80% of men aren’t being abandoned on the sidelines. We all know far too many married mediocre people, even some couples truly in love. Just look around. People online are talking now as if the supposed top 20% of hunky and/or monied males are getting all the action and all or most women are automatically drawn toward them. Not so much.

Despite all of the hard-wiring we may come equipped with, personal experiences teach people a thing or two, at least if we care enough to pay attention. In my own case, I never was into jocks. Just not my speed. Even when I was thin and pretty and jocks took interest in me, they held no appeal. Because far too many of them prove to be either jerks or people I share little in common with, plus sports do nothing for me. Then out in the barscene in my 20s I encountered plenty of “hunky” types and had my fair share of rendezvous, and I learned that the attraction was nearly always no more than skin deep. Just turned out to not do much for me on the occasions I gave it a whirl. Now, I’ve dated plenty of attractive men, but I doubt we’re talking “top 20%” (however that’s to be defined). Doesn’t matter. Probably matters a lot more to avoid the “lowest 20%,” harsh as that may come across. But it’s not just about looks. Personality seriously factors in. What’s a fantastic body and money if there’s no heartfelt endearment or spark? What’s the use in tolerating a belligerent asshole irregardless of how much he earns?

A lot more goes into selecting “good genes” than looks and income, that’s for sure. Like whether the man would be a good father if you’re into breeding. And whether he’ll treat you with respect and share fundamental values. Those things matter too and women are just as hardwired to lean in those directions as well. Hence why the concept of romantic love even came into being — it was a development along the journey of evolution of human nature. Didn’t just spring up thanks to physical attraction and sharing provisions alone. Other steps occurred that we’re conveniently leaving out or have a very skewed perception of due to how we’re being manipulated with information. So much of what’s created to appeal to people today is intended to allure our base natures and arouse our primitive and less-civilized proclivities. That being no secret — just ask anyone in advertising.

We get so much of our ideas from television and films and now the internet, and so much of it’s based on fantasies, dreams, supposed ideals, and they’re intended to get us thinking all the time about what someone else has. Stoking the embers of our competitive spirits has proven highly profitable, as we know. Anyway, women are sold all these “Sex in the City”-esque narratives that serve the dual purpose of also prodding our insecurities, which doesn’t help matters either since that makes us spazzy.

What I’m basically driving at here is this: monkey see, monkey do. Take notice of what all we’re being shown and how the sexes are being instructed. Lots and lots of mixed messages, but one rings loud and clear for women and it’s that harnessing a financially successful, good-looking man is some major honor that garners envy and props. Better still if he’s housebroken. And that’s a dumb narrative, albeit a popular one being pushed all around. It’s a novelty, not a truly worthwhile ambition for most of us, because everything comes with a tradeoff. Yet the fantasy claims otherwise and tries to sell women on the notion of “having it all” and in every way. Just not healthy to approach living in this sort of manner. Deep down it’s not what most women want, as nearly all will figure out at some point in their lives. And while sex is nice, it can’t take the place of love, not for plenty of people, male or female, not if they want a truly meaningful life.

We know this stuff. Not saying anything new here.

But, as one female out here in the crowd I must say that monogamy isn’t the end all/be all we make it out to be. My polyandrous imagination can comprehend a hierarchy of sorts in terms of sexual relations and respective intimate connections and levels of devotion, but I suppose I can save those thoughts for another night. Just thinking that as a woman if my concern is with stability of provisions, I’m better off casting a wider net and becoming more flexible about the possible variety of relationships I might maintain simultaneously over the long-term. Heck, I think the real reason humans came to opt for monogamy is to reduce complexities (theoretically anyway). Possessiveness likes to get in the way, and that too is a natural development.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere. The night got away from me. Thoughts to be resumed another day…