“Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts …”

Back to heaviness…

A song I’ve long adored, “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones (set to footage from the Vietnam war):

The song’s lyrics:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back

I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door, I must have it painted black

Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facin’ up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin’ sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin’ comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I wanna see your face, painted black
Black as night, black as coal

I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

The depths of our human inclination toward destructiveness appears to be bottomless. For these reasons I consider us all to be living in “end times” (for all intents and purposes), whether we care to grasp the severity of the Situation or not. It doesn’t please me, but it is what it is, apparently so. Been coming a long time, and now technologies enable us to kick it into hyper-drive, and so we have. Think we’re going to slow down? Think we’re collectively going to expand our minds and learn to pause and think more carefully before advancing? Think again.

I won’t rule out the possibility entirely though…

Almost seems like the more we drive toward strict rationality, the more irrational we become.

Does the soul not wither, bit by bit, day by day, as we live and confront what’s become of us and how we’ve impacted the rest of life on Earth? We didn’t necessarily mean to — it happens. We’re prideful apes-of-sorts who take actions that throughout time lead to a narrowing of possibilities going forward.

What meaningful action is possible and could prove effective without tons of consequences of its own? There are so many of us, too many — competition rules the day. People awaken to this and can choose to do what? Passively resist like I do by opting to remain relatively poor? Continuing to learn what I can, piping up about what I see as I go, but in the big picture it’s a small drop in the bucket. I don’t shop much anymore (aside from groceries). Feels like the right choice to at least not feed the beasts much more than what’s already being finagled out of me.

But eventually I’ll pass on, leaving no offspring behind, and other people will continue doing what they think they ought to be doing, whatever which ways that shakes out. It’s the trajectory, and I don’t see it changing unless people want to start making a lot of sacrifices, which I am pretty certain they’re not hearin’.

Actively resist with street protests? Sure, I’m down with that, though an arrest could screw up my job. Probably true for most folks. Plus, getting tased or smacked with a nightstick leads to medical bills and lost time at work (in what I do, I don’t get sick days — gotta fulfill my obligations regardless). But we don’t even have big street activism taking place here.

So what then?

(I’d personally love to impeach the president [that goes for any president we’ve had in the last 25 years, at minimum] and at least 75% of Congress and start anew, but the vast majority of my fellow Americans say nay and continue supporting duopoly politics, having convinced themselves that they must select a “winning team” or else they’ve wasted their votes. Just a pipe dream by this point…)

Modern life is all we know. We grew up in this and most of us can’t even begin to get back to basics. And even if we did, up flies the legal red tape to impose property taxes and whatever else to find a way to force people to continue trading in U.S. currency. Which means you have to earn it their way. Which forces you to be somehow tied into the System by some means. How do you sidestep that? Create a group and call yourselves a “religious organization” so as to qualify for tax breaks on property purchased — sounds great, but indoor plumbing still keeps you tied into supporting the System since you gotta pay for that somehow. Same with phones and internet and electricity. Generators require fuel (and most states continue to ban hemp which could be processed into a bio-fuel source).

Though I admire those who do step away from the bullshit as much as possible and produce for themselves.

But even so: Welcome to The Grid. Have fun trying to escape this maze.

‘Round and ’round I go on these topics, and these thoughts are just where I keep winding up at…

Utopian dreams don’t determine actual outcomes.

We’re going on this hand-basket ride whether we like it or not. No one asked our consent, and we’re not required to grant it. But so long as we remain alive in the U.S., we’re going to continue witnessing it all unfold. I can’t see a way around that. Sorry folks.

Also, as relates to the future of humanity… Sincerely wish people would cease producing so many kids. Greater numbers are proving to be a burden on us all. Please have a lot of love in your heart before bringing any child into this world. PLEASE. It’s better for all involved. Beyond that, with too great of numbers comes a consequent reduction in value (as perceived by Society) of each individual. We become too replaceable, too interchangeable. And we know this. We see evidence of this all the time nowadays. That happening in itself leads to a declination in one’s power, and this is observable in the amount of depression and anxiety so many people today report experiencing. We tend to comprehend it on a visceral level prior to exploring the causes.

“Take Me To Church”

Came across a new song today, introduced to me by my companion. It’s by Hozier and titled “Take Me To Church”:

He’s been listening to it on the radio and said it reminded him of me due to its gospel feel. Never saw the video before though.

This song has really been growing on me over the last couple of days. Very emotionally provocative.

There ain’t no grave can hold my body down…

Another from Johnny Cash:

That was “Ain’t No Grave.” A whole bunch of people created an art project for that song. Since I can’t find the video of the song that I had saved, it’s an opportunity to showcase that one.

Here’s another good one with a fan-made video I hadn’t seen before tonight, “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”:

Another, “One” (U2 cover):

Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

You act like you’ve never had love, and you want me to go without.

Well, it’s too late — tonight — to drag the past out into the light. We’re one, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other, carry each other. One.

Have you come here for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead? Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?

Did I ask too much? More than a lot? You gave me nothing, now it’s all I got. We’re one, but we’re not the same. When we hurt each other, and we’re doing it again.

You say love is a temple. Love’s a higher law.

Love is a temple. Love’s the higher law.

You ask me to enter, and then you make me crawl. And I can’t keep holding on to what you’ve got when all you’ve got is hurt. One love, one blood, one life — you’ve got to do what you should.

One life with each other. Sisters and brothers.

One life, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other, carry each other. One.


His music has a profound impact on me.

Don’t think I’ve ever heard this one by him before, “Solitary Man”:

“Blocked you and I blocked them too…”

Been passing this around so might as well post it up here too. Such a funny song:

That parody was by DeStorm Power. Cracks me the heck up.  hehe

If only I could be block-happy.  LOL  Been tempted many times on my YT channel. The good news, though, is that Youtube reinstated the banning feature to where it not only makes a person’s comments invisible only to yourself but removes them from the channel entirely. So I’ve been told anyway. Good feature to have, in all honesty, since some trolls and haters like to take it below the belt, and not everybody needs to put up with that. My own position up until now by-and-large has been to let our idiocy stand as testament, though I’ve noticed some commenters have chosen to delete their own comments since. *shrugs*

Anyway, the musician above is very talented and has a whole range of videos worth checking into.

Blue Million Miles

“Her Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles” by Captain Beefheart:

Another song that makes me think of special people in my life. But when I stop and think about it, I’ve always been attracted to blue eyes for some reason. My own are brown, but when I ponder back most men I’ve dated had blue eyes. My best guyfriend has bluish-grey eyes. But both close women in my life, my Grandma and my best girlfriend, have brown eyes too. This allure seems to be reserved for the men in my life. And when I listen to this song my companion’s eyes shine through in my mind. His eyes are a blue million miles in their own right.

Beautiful, humbling tune.

“Splitting the Atom”

Not really in the mood to write much here. So I’ll just post a song:

That was “Splitting the Atom” by Massive Attack.

The lyrics:

The baby was born
Nettles and Ferns
The evening it chokes
The candle it burns
This disguise covers
Bitter lies
Repeating the joke
The meaning, it dies
Pass me a coat
I’m not afraid to leave
I’m letting you know
I know what you need
I’ll turn you around
This beautiful town
And then you’ll believe it when your eyes then deceive you

It’s easy, don’t let it go
It’s easy, don’t let it go
It’s easy, don’t let it go
Don’t Lose It

It’s getting colder outside
Your rented space
They shadow box and they
Paper chase
It never stops
And we’ll never learn
No hope without dope
The jobless return
The bankers have bailed
The mighty retreat
The pleasure it fails
At the end of the week
You take it or leave
Or what you receive
To what you receive
Is eternited leave

It’s easy, don’t let it go
It’s easy, don’t let it go
It’s easy, don’t let it go
Don’t lose it

Incandescent light at doors
In adolescent menopause
In little clicks you got the music stops
The needle sticks and the penny drops
The summer’s gone before you know
The muffled drums of relentless flow
You’re looking at stars that give you vertigo
The sun’s still burning and dust will blow
Honey scars, I’ll keep you near
Our blood is gold nothing to fear
We killed the time and I love you dear
A kiss of wine, we’ll disappear
The last of the last particles
Divisible invisible
The last of the last particles
Divisible invisible

“Honey scars” — that’s an interesting pet name for one’s lover. Quite apt, when you really stop and think about it.

[Btw, can’t vouch for the lyrics since I copied them from elsewhere and not from an official source. Bold emphasis mine.]

Been listening to this song pretty routinely lately. Just strikes some sort of chord in me right now. Clicks…makes sense. Modern times, crazy as they are, still at the end of the day wind up being just another cycle in a countless sea all back throughout history. And it does appear true that we humans never learn, at least not as an aggregate. Just can’t apparently, and I don’t even think I can fault us since it’s just the way it is. Our technologies outpaced our collective ability to manage them wisely. We are all indeed mere apes-of-sorts, animals in our own right, sophisticated as we may be. That’s the tragicomedy of it all — we take ourselves so seriously as we bumble about knowing not what we do. Seems to be what humans are good at.

Best to love the ones we can in what time remains for us. More and more that’s becoming my position in this life. Stand up for those needing to be stood up for, while being mindful of how out-of-control shit’s become all across the board and the unlikelihood of that drastically changing within one or even three generations’ time. We’re living in a spiral, and the best of times have likely already come and gone. That’s just the way it can be sometimes — nobody chooses when they’re born. We must simply work with what we have in whatever amount of time we have, based on what matters most to us as individuals and as cooperative alliances. Might sound far-out to some, but these thoughts strike me as simply getting down to the bare essentials. In my existence, love matters tremendously. I’ve not always done right in proving that, but I firmly know it now.

[Updated 9/13/2014 after listening to this song yet again and to add lyrics and commentary.]

Zoning in on the least capable of being reasonable — where does it get you?

This song came across my headphones one day last week and really struck me, so I uploaded it with a fitting piece of artwork by glooh on DeviantArt:

That was Gary Moore singing “Oh, Pretty Woman.”

I dig it.

While re-listening to this again tonight, reflecting on a recent conversation with an MRA online, I want to elaborate on and adjust what I was trying to say in the end when talking about not focusing so much attention on feminism and feminists and instead speaking to us out here in the general audience and public. Already are invited into our homes via this screen, so say what you have to say. Bickering back and forth with feminists is a real turn-off for plenty of us out here.

Ok, well, expanding on that, what struck me today is that if you’re interested in debating feminists, why not address the presumably reasonable feminists instead of talking to and equating all feminists with the fringe extremists? Because MRAs seriously need to understand that they’re most often online interacting with young women and girls who call themselves feminists without realizing all the wrongs being done in feminism’s name. Many don’t know, despite their air of self-assurance.

Hell, back right after I made my first feminism video on my YT channel (in 2012, 3-4 years after denouncing the label of feminist and several years since really keeping up with much pertaining to the movement) people started piping up about VAWA and I had to go look it up. There’s feminism in the abstract and feminism as it plays out through the political manipulation of public policy. Not that feminism is alone in exploiting the system in this manner, but then again, who’s exploiting whom?

Anyway, I so often read or hear men talking online about the extreme views expressed by the likes of Valerie Solanas or Andrea Dworkin, when most feminists and women in general alive today aren’t up on all of that. Many, many women don’t explore the extreme end of feminism, because it’s not their thing and they consider much of it inconsequential. Not that mainstream feminism is much better, but even there, I don’t think most females out here keep up on a whole lot of what’s going on beyond social media outlets, if even that.

But let’s assume that, by-and-large, the most vocal self-described feminists online these days are typically young, naive and throwing themselves into a movement in search of a sense of identity (as people like to do) or expressing extreme viewpoints. Those don’t qualify as the most reasonable feminists in existence, obviously. Maybe, by addressing those feminists most likely to give a damn about MRM concerns and other reasonable women instead of zoning in on extremist examples few out here are knowledgeable about or in agreement with, those guys wouldn’t come across as so combative and therefore wouldn’t likely turn more people off than on. The men’s rights movement, or at least popular factions within it, are coming across as not too terribly different from those on the extreme end of feminism. That’s according to my and plenty of others’ observations. But people are going to do what people are going to do.

But whatever. How much can I care about a political movement?  *shrugs* Would be nice if people could help form and spread an ethic concerning boundaries, both personally and politically, that rises above the petty tit-for-tat demonization-fest so commonly found across the men’s rights movement (as well as the MGTOW deviation) and feminism currently.

Is it me, or do mass movements—whether aspiring or established—always turn idiocratic?