Evening thoughts on Valentine’s Day

Maybe I will come to repent on certain matters. It’s a question of damage to souls.

Looking back, there are lots of reasons why, lead-ups and bad influences, and I’ll continue to take them into consideration when contemplating this matter. Not much more to say about them aloud though. Tired of my complaining anger. It was understandable at the time, but I’d really like to live the next half of my life without its bitter input. Scarred the mind, distorts the thoughts. Turns one into a full-grown problem child.

Amazing the webs we humans can weave for our own selves.

Civilization’s a hell of a drug. Plus, all this new responsibility foisted on all of us right as religions began dying. Interesting how that worked out. Though it probably couldn’t have been any other way.

To think that ideologies aren’t busily filling that vacuum is naive. Welcome to most-modern life. It’s bound to be a wilder ride.

It’s easy to get scared about the future, to feel overwhelmed, anxious, fearful about what rights we may lose. Nervous about crime rates spiking. Weirded out by the extremist fringes on sex and race being paraded in the mainstream press as if heroic and prominently promoted in various colleges — only to then have their ideologies embraced by global tech-giants Google and Facebook.

Known unknowns of the future…

Don’t know what’s going to happen to us as a nation or as the West. I care very much, but arguing with people over it isn’t changing a thing. There’s gotta be a better way. Put our money where our mouths are and gets some skin in the game.

So modern civilizations are fucking us up? Some say so. I don’t doubt it so far as its alienation is concerned. But what it’s become isn’t necessarily what it must be. Is there not room for positive change, for better innovations and more sustainable, psychologically-healthier options? I think there is. Why not have faith in that possibility?

But nothing will come into fruition the way we’d like it to if we sit here wasting time bitching while taking no effective action. No, standing around with a sign or pressing the government for more laws to govern what we’re allowed to say to one another does not count as effective action. That is unless you’re in cahoots with the idea of expanding government’s power, which isn’t a smart move any time but especially now when major corporations have come to exert more control over our political system than the voters. Not a good time to call on government to start censoring us over our pet grievances. Not smart — it won’t stop there.

We American fiddles are played easily. Get us up in arms over this or that cause, getting us foaming at the mouth at one another and demanding new laws to set limits on one another down here on the ground. It’s almost as if we humans don’t know how to stay out of shackles. Can’t seem to learn that trick. Too easily persuaded to put politics before principles. That’s us. Welcome to it.

I’ve been chomping at the bit for years. As have bunches of people. Most probably haven’t fully figured out why yet. We get to focusing on our petty grievances, our personal life drama, our perplexing pasts and upbringings, political drama, social drama, TV drama, internet drama. Can distract us for years. Often does. Hard to not get caught up in these traps — maybe even impossible. We feud as if sectarians, as if the other has caused our current national situation. Not I. Never I.

Man, I get so tired of chomping on that bit, waiting and wondering, feeling so powerless to do anything about the state of the world, let alone figure out my own personal bullshit. Then an idea struck me, something I first looked into about 10 years ago. Researching those possibilities currently. Gives me a little more hope and reminds me that this game isn’t over yet. We still do have options, at least in how we choose to live out the lives we have. Might not be able to control the future, but perhaps we can add alternatives to the mix. And perhaps we’d be better off in doing so. Maybe we’d learn more tolerance for one another, learn to work with one another on projects of actual value. Real work and real living. Ten thousand communities going their own way. It’s a beautiful dream that isn’t dead yet.

Maybe through reconnecting with nature and the roots of our survival we’ll learn a thing or two about that which we call GOD in the process. Just maybe. And likely we’ll be better off for it.

We’re not dead yet. We’re not bought and enslaved yet. Our minds and bodies haven’t ceased functioning yet. Nor has our creativity, good will, and desire for community. There can be more to this life than what some of us experience.

Isolation has its limits. Alienation is soul-damaging. Bitterness, resentment, depression, envy, false pride, and procrastination are ruining our lives.

Love can find a way.

Continuing thoughts on violence and threats between the sexes

Picking up where I left off before segueing off into my personal story-sharing. There are bullies out here who try to intimidate people they think they can get away with pushing around, and sometimes those people are men, and to go a step further, sometimes they’re men of higher status (either themselves or their family) used to getting away with their shenanigans due to having access to money to get them out of legal trouble. But anyway, that aside, there are also men who try to be decent for the most part who can be pushed into the red if someone tries at it long and hard enough. That’s what my companion was talking about, stating it as a bit of a warning to womenfolk that they never really know who they’re dealing with until that fateful moment. He then went on to say that the damage inflicted can sometimes be enough to kill a woman, so there’s no guarantee she’ll be granted the opportunity to learn from the experience and go forward as a less antagonistic person. He spends a lot of time around other men who are also very strong from their labors, so I imagine he may have stories in mind there.

I think what he was really driving at there was how young and/or hot-tempered men can overreact or don’t know how to channel their aggression in more productive ways, so a woman incessantly antagonizing them could be poking a bear, even though the guy may typically strive to be peaceful and tries not to react against women with physical force. True. I can imagine this could prove especially challenging to younger men with less life experience and thereby fewer opportunities to figure out how to handle women (and which women are best that they personally avoid to cut down on dangerous drama — fire and ice reaction and all). Or perhaps we could be talking about men who grew up exposed to violence that messed with their heads and sends them into a state of panic when it’s relived.

This describes my ex-husband to a degree. Continue reading

What rights? We only have privileges.

A video I recently created titled “What rights? We only have privileges.”:

The United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights referenced in my video (which I personally reject) can be viewed here: http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/

And here’s George Carlin summing up the situation quite nicely in a way that only he can: