After spending several days delving into whatever I could find on codependency, and then veering off to try to make sense of this label of “narcissist,” I’m left with the same bitter taste experienced in the past anytime I look into psychiatric “disorders” and labeling. Just gets batty in a hurry. And so many take matters to great extremes, creating yet another “us vs. them” dichotomy. Well, have at it folks. Not my cup of tea. Not interested in playing that game these days. And seriously not interested in absorbing others’ false claims stemming from their own narrow, biased perspectives.
Makes a person nearly paranoid to get wrapped up in that sort of thing. Seems more important to heal myself as I am able and try to avoid stepping in that old, familiar muck in going forward. Some people are toxic, yes. Sometimes they remain that way their entire lives, yes. But I’ve yet to meet any adult who’s wholly innocent in all areas. Life corrupts us all, to varying extents. Sometimes people bring out the worst in one another and unearth deep-seated emotional trauma, but I’m not sure tossing around labels does much to help the situation. Seems to obfuscate it further actually.
I don’t know. Guess I’d rather opt for a “keep it simple, stupid” approach right about now. Not enough energy to expend in trying to make sense out of elaborate diagnoses that change however much each time a new DSM rolls out. Don’t know, don’t care. A damaging dynamic is what it is. Didn’t take reading anything to know I’ve been in a dysfunctional relationship for a long time now. And rather than concern myself with what all may be wrong with everybody else out in society, I’d probably be wiser to return my focus back to the stoic teachings I’ve been listening to so that I can work on my own self — the only person I actually have any power to truly change and improve.
All else gets to looking like a witch-hunt, a distraction, a way to cast off blame so as not to feel so down on oneself. Thanks, Wyrd (if you’re reading this). You were right. No point in wasting my time in fruitless endeavors that ultimately won’t change a thing. Gotta get back to basics and just start there.