Kizzume — “Out Of Time”

Really loved this song produced by an internet peep I’ve been following for a few years now. This tune blew me away. Probably on my 5th re-listening in a row now. The lyrics follow.

Always a newer age
Only this time it’s somewhat newer than the rest
It won’t be long
We’ll be getting out champagne

That’s just a dream we have
Only this time it’s much much stronger than the rest
We scrape along
On the bottom of the tide

Nothing is for certain when you’re out of time
Nothing is forgotten when you’re on the line

Always a bigger stage
Only this time it’s somewhat bigger than the rest
We’ll act it out
As if to try and inflate

It’s just the team we have
Only this time it has more corruption than the rest
They can’t be wrong
They have Orwell on their hands

Nothing will reduce you to an empty space
Nothing will seduce you when you make your case


Super impressed over here. Knew he liked to mess around with the keyboard and music but had no idea how gifted he was until now. Kinda jealous, as one who cannot sing worth a damn.  lol  Either way though, he killed this. Great job, dude!  clap

More tunes for late May 2016

Because more are needed tonight.

“Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit:

Prior to today I hadn’t heard that one in a long minute. Not a personal favorite but I like hearing it from time to time.

Ground Up — “Right Now” (gets into the song after 1:00 in):

An old favorite, DMX — “X Gon’ Give It to Ya”:

DJ Snake & Lil Jon – “Turn Down For What (Onderkoffer Remix)”:

Happen to enjoy that remix.

A new one I heard for the first time today, Ground Up – “On Me”:

More new ones, “What I Live For” by Rob Bailey & The Hustle Standard:

“I Am Not Done” by Rob Bailey & The Hustle Standard feat. Moxiie:

Honestly not much of a fan of auto-tune. But I dig those songs all right.

Here’s one I came across the other day, The Chemical Brothers – “Believe”:

Really like that one. Especially the video.

Late May 2016 Tunes

Starting out tonight with Kid Rock’s “You Never Met a Motherfucker Quite Like Me”:

Not a huge favorite for me personally, but my former companion liked this song and owned the album and so it was played enough to where it grew on me.

Still can’t stand the Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow song though. Noooo. Won’t sit through that one. Simply will not.

A new one I stumbled across lately, Ground Up feat. Marty Grimes – “People”:

People ask what I’ve been up to lately
(Tell the truth, tell the truth)
Ya, I been missing for awhile
(I been missing, I been missing)
Just getting high don’t take it personal
(Oh no, oh no)
When I come down you’ll be the first to know
(Oh no, oh no)

But I ain’t never coming
Nah, I ain’t never coming

(Ya, nigga I be so ghost)
Come get lost with me
Getting money cause that talk is cheap
(Bitch niggas do the most)
Shit, ain’t that the truth
Can’t stop now I’m locked in the zone
(We don’t show no love)
Yelling Ground Up ’till the end
Only ones I trust is my friends
(We don’t like nobody)
They don’t got a team like mine
Lose sleep over dreams like mine
(They ain’t nothing like us)
All work no play
I don’t know what to say
I gravitate to those who know me well
Give me some space to contemplate myself
Get the fuck outta my face, fuck outta my face


Another new one I came across recently, “Run This” by Rob Bailey & The Hustle Standard:

Take the bodies out, call the ambulances
I’m done giving first and second fucking chances
I’m a killer, I’m a kill it, I’m a kill it
I’m a killer, I’m a kill it, I’m a kill it

Night after day, after night
I work hustle kill and I fight

Might as well give me the throne that you inherit
While you’re at it give me your badge cuz I’m the sheriff

Everybody back up
I run this, I run this, I run this
I’m bigger than a mack truck
I run this, I run this, I run this

Some people are walking blind
And other people fall in line
But I’m too busy chasing mine
To let the world leave me behind
I’m going for mine

Getting to the top is just a matter of time
Until I get mine
Never looking back cuz I’m on my grind
I’m going for mine…

(Everybody back up) …

Really like that one in particular.

More May tunes

Here’s a song I haven’t heard in quite a while, Björk’s “Army of Me”:

Stand up
You’ve got to manage
I won’t sympathize

And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me

You’re alright
There’s nothing wrong
Self sufficiency please!
And get to work

And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You’ll meet an army of me

You’re on your own now
We won’t save you
Your rescue squad
Is too exhausted

Here’s one I discovered in my collection and didn’t even realize I owned. Don’t know how I acquired it. Björk’s “New World”:

A song I’ve long appreciated and listened to an older woman belt out, actually quite beautifully, on karaoke last night, Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me” (here performed lived by him and George Michael):

I can’t light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I’m growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don’t let the sun go down on me
Although I searched myself, it’s always someone else I see
I’d just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can’t find the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don’t discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal

A very touching song.

Too tired tonight to post up anymore.

Early May tunes in 2016

One that keeps coming across my radar a lot lately, “Paint It Black” by Rolling Stones:

Gnarls Barkley’s “Just a Thought”:

…but I’m fine…

“Transformer” by Gnarls Barkley:

Gnarls Barkley’s “Necromancer”:

Loved that whole Gnarls Barkley album back before it grew in popularity.

“Who Cares” by Gnarls Barkley:

Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy”:

That’s a haunting and captivating version of his most popular tune…

Gnarls Barkley’s “The Last Time”:

I showcased that song on one of my escort sites I created back in 2007 and remain in love with it forevermore. Adore it completely.

Indeed, the world is watching…

Switching gears and returning to tunes (spring 2016)

Have a lot of songs on my mind lately, but those I’m most fixated on currently are the ones that get conjured up when I think of returning back down South to my hometown and my Grandma. So I’ll share a few of those now.

Beginning with “Thank God For Mama” by The Fantastic Violinaires (Feat. Robert Blair):

That’s how I feel about my Grandma. She raised me early on when my mother barely would. She did teach me how to pray and was the only one to do so, and she was there for my most formative years. Thank God she’s still with us, now in her mid-70s, and I get to go see her again finally in a couple weeks. Been away too long, longer than I’ve ever been. Grandma taught me so much about love and faith and holding out hope that without her I’d be completely lost in this world. She and Papa were amazing to me and I will remain forever indebted to their unconditional love and influence on my life.

Nothing in life is perfect, and no human being is perfect, but I remain grateful for the lucky breaks I’ve had in this respect and only wish I someday prove capable of living up to the potential they saw in me.

Another one I listen to pretty regularly and love from Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Comin’ Home”:

Sometimes the lyrics hit deeper than other times.

A few lyrics from that song:

… I don’t know why the thought came to me
But why I’m here I really can’t see, and now

I want to come home. It’s been so long since I’ve been away
And please, don’t blame me ’cause I’ve tried
I’ll be coming home soon to your love, to stay
Coming home to stay
Coming home to your love, mama
I’ve seen better days  …

Feeling pretty chewed up these days. Not that this is the first time. Just looking for some solace, a soft place to land, somewhere to get my head on straight and my emotions under control. Missing a plot of land I originally identified as home, the only home I’ve ever truly accepted as where I belong, where I am safe from the worldly confusion and its demands. But then I tend to get down there and eventually grow restless each time and start pining to resume my journey up north, and always I leave and head back up here to try again, just as I will too once this trip comes to a close. It’s understood upfront. Just a temporary break to remind myself of who I am and where I come from and to take up time with those I love and who love me. Don’t we all need this from time to time? And aren’t we fortunate if we can find our way back there?

Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Someday Never Comes” (w/my hometown footage):

Lyric excerpt:

First thing I remember was asking papa, why,
For there were many things I didn’t know.
And daddy always smiled and took me by the hand,
Saying, someday you’ll understand.

… When daddy went away, he said, try to be a man,
And someday you’ll understand.

Well, I’m here to tell you now, each and every mother’s son,
That you better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
‘Cause someday never comes.   …

Probably means nothing to anybody else out there, but I appreciate capturing that footage of the downtown area where I come from. My hometown has a fairly high prisoner population due to them being sent down to work in our little city to avoid being sent up to the dreaded Parchman Penitentiary (a.k.a. Mississippi State Penitentiary), known as the oldest and most dilapidated maximum-security prison in the state. They come down and work in our town as laborers to get their sentences reduced and/or to avoid the outcome of being sent up-state for confinement. Recently I looked up demographic information on my hometown and saw that our prisoner population was much higher than the average in Mississippi, per capita. My Papa used to drive around the prisoners as one of the jobs he got when I was a teenager, and they’d go out and pick up fallen branches and litter and whatnot. (Notably, Papa was one of the few foremen who got out and worked alongside his charges in that ungodly heat, which garnered him great respect.) He’d sometimes pull into our gravel driveway with them all in tow and I’d be instructed to not speak to them, to never speak to the prisoners. Because that was their punishment, handed down from high legal authorities — they weren’t allowed to affiliate and interact with common townspeople and wound up being treated like ghosts among us. Kinda sad when I reflect back on it. Even many years later when I was down as an adult and turning over a stray dog to the local dog-catchers, an operation run by the prisoners, I recall asking one of them a question about the dog and Papa later snapping at me back in the truck for speaking to a prisoner. Just wasn’t allowed. Definitely an “us vs. them” situation despite us being poor ourselves. There’s always a hierarchy, no matter where you turn or how low you go. And such is life apparently.

Here’s one I heard on the jukebox a week ago at the local watering hole that I’ve heard many times but that for whatever reason took on new significance, “Mama, I’m Coming Home” by Ozzy Osbourne:

That one seems to hit on how I feel about my home county. It’s not a place where I generally feel welcome, save for my Grandparents’ little lot. Their home is like an island within a constricting environment, one which my Papa resented very much as well. Very religious, bordering on fanaticism, catering to evangelicals, completely closed-minded to other faiths or—heaven forbid—a lack of faith in religions altogether. Never did I fit in there. Never even found a place in the whole state of Mississippi in the several cities I lived in where I felt at ease and accepted. Racial agitation remains and neither the blacks nor the whites know how to cope with folks of other ethnic backgrounds. Or at least they didn’t. Can’t say with certainty how things might’ve been changing within the last 10-15 years among the youngest age groups. Just know how it was on up to the year I moved away from my hometown for the last time when I was 17, in 1999 (moved out of the entire state for the last time in 2002). Only been back to visit since and tend to not interact too much with the locals when I’m down, preferring instead to observe them from a distance, not wishing to wind up given much grief after receiving enough of that in the past. They wind up being a bunch of memories to me, and not very many I recall as being pleasant.

Like that one threat to burn down my Grandparents’ trailer (resulting in me being re-sent back up to the Midwest as a teen to live), or the preacherman who was instrumental in putting the final nails in the coffin of me leaving my religion at age 14, or the old man down the way from my school who tried taking liberties with me (who has since died of old age), or the perverted great-uncle who used to live across the street that I was frequently as a child warned to stay away from (and thankfully did my best), or the asshole principle of the high school who took a particular disliking to me during 10th grade for no good reason (as I’m told he did each year against some student for no real cause, he’s since finally been replaced), or the coach teaching biology class one year who started off letting us pupils know that somehow he felt teaching science was against God (who would have thought God disapproved of teaching photosynthesis?), or the football jocks and their attitude problems and yet how much they were allowed to get away with by adults and their peers alike, or how the label of “whore” was tossed around willy-nilly at any female appearing to step outside of traditional expectations, or how incredibly crappy the educational system was down there overall, or how any and all forms of entertainment for youths winding up shut down over time (blamed on the Baptist majority in that town), OR how so many were pretty poor to the point where any family with a little money could parade around like a big fish in a small pond and act like pricks, etc. Not my kind of place, in short. Too closed-minded. Too many rough memories there. Creates a conflicting situation for me there.

So I tend to stick with my Grandma while down and travel an hour or more away to larger cities when in the mood for entertainment. So it goes…

But there remain aspects of Southern culture that I continue to appreciate, long-dead as so much of it is. Including our fighting, rebellious, anti-authority spirit.

On that last note, Charlie Daniels’ “The South’s Gonna Do It (Again)”:

Adore that song. yesnod_smilie

Another I continue to love is The Band’s “The Night They Drove Dixie Down”:

How I wish the South had taken a different turn and become something better than it has. That remains a dream for me, to see its uprising in a new and surprising way.

And maybe I’m supposed to be one of the ones who helps resurrect it so far as my little sphere of influence goes. But I’m a hybrid by now, having now officially spent more of my life living in the Midwest than in the South. But Dixie still lives in my heart, this much I know, and I continue to pledge allegiance to its cause so far as independence is concerned. Can’t take that away from me.

But they sure did drive Dixie down. No joke. Really fucked her up, and the ol’ girl has been broken ever since. Thanks Industry. But I know that it couldn’t be helped, that Industry was poised to eclipse agrarian living and that this is just the way life rolls sometimes. Can’t revert back to the past, not that that’s a past I’ve ever known, nor is it a past my family members who did experience it wish to return to, but this all serves as a reminder of where humans came from and how we’ve escalated into “modernity.” What all has impacted us along the way, both pros and cons. And it opens up the question of where to go from here, what’s worth fighting for, what’s worth taking a firm stand on, where to place one’s stake and refuse to budge come hell or high water. Some are of the belief that we all should remain flexible, adaptable, but I’m not convinced we all can. Gonna require different kinds of people with no close knowledge of this past to accept to float with the tides as they’re prescripted today. The rest of us are like dead-weights according to the innovators of tomorrow, so it remains a question of how best to live out our lives in the face of that which we cannot fully accept and abide by. I continue hunting for answers on this and am plagued by the haunting feeling that the spoils will indeed go to the victors regardless of how much of a fight the relative minority is willing to put up. And so be it. Just because you ultimately lose doesn’t automatically mean that a cause isn’t worth fighting for. Such is human life. When has it ever been any different? High adaptability apparently is reserved for the few, not the many. Too much to adjust to. Too much conflict to reckon with. So it remains a question of how best to navigate forward from here…

And nobody knows. We all have our tribal myths we associate closest with, and they conflict. From the democratic aims to individualistic aims to ecologically-responsible aims, etc. And sometimes they even conflict within the individual, as they do with me. I don’t know much. Just looking forward to going home and taking time away from the game and hopefully get in better spirits so I can resume my place upon my perch so as to continue observing the rest of you, all whilst working toward getting my own shit together.

Prayerful tunes for 2016

A song on my mind lately, “Mercy Seat” by Johnny Cash:

Brooding, humbling, haunting tune.

A prayer tune, even for those of us who aren’t religious.

That which we refer to as Lord, I feel you when I take time to pause and listen to beautiful tunes like this. I feel something anyway. The Power. Whatever it is…

Instead of sharing TMI on here tonight that I’ll just wind up marking private tomorrow, let me continue in this vein and post up other songs that get me praying whether I mean to or not. They just evoke it. Or are at least powerful, humbling songs that return to my mind and spirit over and over again, begging to be patiently listened to.

One that immediately springs to mind and regularly resists being ignored is The Blind Boys of Alabama’s “Getting Better (All the Time)”:

I’m not what I ought to be, but I AM better than I used to be. In some important respects. And that’s something. That’s progress on a personal level, and that is meaningful. If not strive for higher, then what?

Like I said, am a long-time agnostic without interest in adhering to any religious attitudes or logic or doctrines. That’s them, and this is me. People can do as they wish. I just hunt for whatever nuggets I find of value, regardless of what they might’ve been intended for originally. There are some beautiful gospel tunes that I will never tire of, particularly from that band. Amazing artists — that much is a fact. Love them. So many of their songs resonate with my spirit and have for many years now. Just adore The Blind Boys of Alabama.

Another beautiful, mesmerizing tune, Jeff Buckley’s rendition of “Hallelujah”:

Bought that album back in the early 2000s. Very sorrowful but worth meditating on regardless.

Heart-breaking, yes. But that’s okay. It really is okay. Sometimes we need to sit with those sides of Truth too. Appears to be necessary for self-exploration and introspection, at least in my case.

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Oh God. I feel those lyrics very deeply every time I listen. Cuts to the core.

Yes, that’s what I learned of love too, and it’s wrong. It’s such a harsh way of comprehending loving relations and leads to so much undue pain…

Jeff Buckley’s voice is simply captivating. Stays with a person. The world was blessed to have that man around as long as we did and to receive the fruits of his creativity. We truly were blessed.

Another spell-binding tune by Jeff Buckley, “Corpus Christi Carol”:

Those are a couple painful tunes to take in, so let’s switch gears and head toward an inspiration song from George Harrison, “My Sweet Lord”:

Just love listening to that one. Never tire of it. Represents the mystery of life to me, that which we like to refer to as “God.” It’s a questioning, a seeking, a longing. I doubt any humans are truly immune to it, and those who are I damn-near feel sorry for. It’s an integral part of the human experience, to commune with some sort of higher consciousness so far as we’re individually capable of experiencing it at any given time. It’s all a big question, no certainty. Which presents us with quests to discover, uncover, examine, ponder, grasp at, etc.

Switching back to Johnny Cash tunes, “Hurt”:

Can’t tell you how much I appreciated him covering this Nine Inch Nails tune. Blew the original out of the water over time, good as it was.

Chokes me up every time imagining how hard it was on Johnny existing after June departed. That poor man. He really suffered but wasn’t long to follow. And I understand. Our loved ones can mean the world to us. They can be what it’s ALL about. Nothing matters much without them. Just going through motions. I can sympathize with his plight there, thought can’t imagine what it’s like to be with somebody for that many decades, loving them, and yet having to lose them. I know that man suffered. No question. Though I can appreciate him continuing to do his work on up to the end. But what else could he do? He probably felt the need to stay as busy as possible.

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

I know, Johnny. But we thank you anyway for learning what you did the hard way and passing that along in your own unique style to the rest of us. We’re better off for it.

That was another valuable tune from Johnny Cash titled “Ain’t No Grave (Can Hold My Body Down),” particularly appreciating the art project that went into creating that video specifically. Just an amazing artistic compilation there.

Johnny Cash singing “Man in Black”:

Word, Johnny. Word.

A rendition of “One” by Johnny Cash”:

Awesome song. Indisputably so.

“You Are My Sunshine” by Johnny Cash:

Haven’t heard his rendition of that one before tonight, but long adored that song.

Blind Boys of Alabama performing “Amazing Grace”:

This wretch needs saving, that’s all I know. Gonna have to figure this shit out. Very much looking forward to my sabbatical out of here, beginning late next month.

One I haven’t heard before tonight from the Blind Boys of Alabama, “Look Where He Brought Me From”:

Music break for early spring 2016

Starting off tonight with Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry,” a perennial favorite:

That one’s been on my mind a lot lately. Loved it for many years though.

A song I can’t help but dig, M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes”:

An oddity I’ve enjoyed since the ’90s, Cake’s “Italian Leather Sofa”:

Another I love and have yet to tire of, “Too Much Time On My Hands” by Styx:

Too much truth in that song…

And that performance was broadcast in 1981…the year I was born. Life’s full of all sorts of goofy ironies if you take notice. lol

Another song I happen to have loved since forever, “Tom Sawyer” by Rush:

Which that video’s description box claims came out in 1981. The eeriness continues… ha!

Switching gears, “Paranoid Android” by Radiohead:

An amazing live performance, Portishead’s “Roads”:

Already posted that on here somewhere at least once before, but who cares? Beautiful, sorrowful song. Loved that tune since the ’90s.

Got a lot of changes on the horizon…been a long year, a long couple of years, a long many years. Time likes to tick by slowly in my world…

But perception is everything apparently. So I’ll deal with that going forward. Deeper personal thoughts can stay inside my head tonight.

Portishead’s “Glory Box”:

A song I’ve loved for several years, KT Tunstall’s “Other Side of the World”:

A rendition I’ve never heard before by Fiona Apple of the famous Beatles’ song “Across the Universe”:

Hmmm. Kept thinking throughout that if she was directly, personally, and physically impacted by that carnage I bet it’d change her world. Just the thought that happened across my mind by the 2:39 mark. And I don’t doubt that will come across to some as a cynical consideration. But welcome to reality. None of us are above it. Certainly helps what attitude you adopt within it while dealing with it. But still. Try to entirely not be impacted by life and see what kind of a life that renders to you. Just sayin’ is all.

A better Beatles’ song rendition, IMO, Johnny Cash singing “In My Life”: