Grandsons of famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud

Randomly stumbled across this information last night. Never thought prior to now about Freud’s grandkids and who they might be or what their lives may entail. Wasn’t what I expected to find, though won’t pretend I expected much better adjusted offspring from Sigmund Freud. Not the man’s biggest fan largely due to his overemphasis of the Oedipus Complex, which my studies on the matter led me over time to believe it alone cannot explain as much about human psychology as he (quite inflexibly) presumed.

Anyway, last night by chance I came across a video about the disappearance of a little girl named Madeleine McCann. Many have heard of her story and how she went missing in 2007 while her family vacationed in Portugal. I’m not familiar with the case despite hearing her name bandied about occasionally, so last night I decided to listen to some interviews and videos on the matter. And that’s where the name Sir Clement Freud first crossed my radar. Grandson of Sigmund Freud and brother of famous artist Lucian Freud.

Clement Freud was a Liberal member of the UK Parliament until 1987, a lengthy service which he was knighted for. He died in 2009 and years later claims came out about him being a pedophile and rapist, dating back to the 1940s. People can read all about that on their own time. But his name surfaced in the Madeleine McCann case due to the proximity of his villa from the villa where Madeleine was said to likely have been abducted. Coincidental perhaps. But then the word is that he reached out in the aftermath of the child’s disappearance to offer support to her parents, Kate and Gerry McCann. Still looking for definitive accounts of this being true. Seems a bit eerie if that is true, considering the stories from elderly women that came out later claiming abuse by him as youths.

Then I looked into Lucian Freud to see what kind of artwork he produces. A showcase of his art is available here. Hmmm…what can be said about that? Quite unattractive positioning and rendering of his models, despite his obvious artistic talent and capabilities. One of his pieces sold for $33.6 million at auction – that said to be “the highest price ever at the time for a work by a living artist.” Makes me wonder who would pay that much for any piece of art, let alone a painting of an obese naked woman sleeping on a couch.

Benefits_Supervisor_Sleeping_Lucian_FreudLucian is also rumored to have fathered up to 40 children with various mistresses.

Hmmm. People are strange, and those two certainly were no exception to that rule.

“Arthur C Clarke – Fractals – The Colors Of Infinity”

Happened across this video last night:

Been amazed by fractals since my early teens. And that above was an old-school documentary on the subject.

My guyfriend requested today that I post up pretty pictures of fractals on here. Probably aiming to distract me from political discourse. Haha! That’s what friends are for. tongue_funny

fractal480

Mandelbrot_Set-12-DOUBLE_SPIRAL-large

Mandelbrot_Set-10-SATELLITE_VALLEY

mandelbrot_upclose

mandelbrot_set That particular design is known as the Mandelbrot set and is repeated throughout fractal formations.

Pizzagate?

Hmmm…the latest conspiracy theory pertaining to Washington insiders involves a bizarre cast of characters along with claims of a child molestation ring. What can be said about this?

First off, lobbing claims against people for sexual mistreatment of children is a gravely serious matter. Not accusations to be treated willy-nilly or to be applied to people without sufficient evidence. A mere accusation of this nature can destroy a person’s life, and how does one even defend against such claims? So…no, I’m not interested in joining a witch-hunt without enough to go on, even if those being pointed at include certain politicians I’m certainly no fan of.

Secondly, pretty much everybody out here is relying on second-hand information to form their opinions. Meaning most of us didn’t access the primary source of these photos being circulated and can’t say with certainty that the pictures haven’t been doctored or taken out of relevant context or whatever else. In other words, we really don’t know what we’re looking at here or what it all represents, speculations aside. And this tends to be the problem with vigilante justice — people like to react without putting in diligent effort and time to make sure the accusations are sufficiently warranted. Which then makes them look like a bunch of hokey “conspiracy theorists” chomping at the bit for a disturbing story, nevermind the evidence available and what it may or may not indicate. People lose trust in you and your claims and then wind up side-stepping the entire issue because they don’t wish to strain themselves in sorting out fact from fiction. And what if the accusations turn out to be correct? Well, those who went on a witch-hunt too soon actually helped obscure that truth by behaving like reckless, ignorant vigilantes gearing up for a lynching spree. Hurt your own cause, in short.

However, I am intrigued by such stories and thereby started looking into it for myself, beginning with watching a few videos and following the links provided. Most weren’t what I would accept as credible sources. From there I went directly to wikileaks to peruse the Podesta and Clinton emails. Lots and lots to sort through there. Would likely take a dedicated month to do so. But I located some of the relevant emails where handkerchiefs and fund-raising pizza parties at Comet Ping Pong restaurant or at one of the Podesta’s homes were mentioned (plus this, and one about ice cream, and this about a “spirit cooking” event, and this mention of David Brock).

What do these findings suggest to me? Not what others are claiming. Doesn’t look to be a bunch of sinister code, or at least I’m not seeing it. If I felt creeped out by these correspondences, I’d say so, but it looks like the ramblings of a bunch of foodies who enjoy hosting parties. I’d call it out if it struck me any other way.

But what about James Alefantis and his Comet Ping Pong pizza restaurant attracting so much attention from D.C. elites? And what about the photos purportedly uploaded to his Instagram account depicting kids in weird ways? I don’t know since his instagram account has since been marked private or deleted, so any photos I’m exposed to that are claimed to have been uploaded by him is pure hearsay by now. If I can’t locate the original source and see it with my own eyes, I’m forced to trust the words of others online, and we all know how many batty weirdos are floating around on the internet.

Apparently this photo was legitimately taken from James’ Instagram account (where he went by “jimmycomet”):

jimmycomet_kid_photo

What can we make of it? It’s creepy, sure, and probably not the kind of publicity one would want to drum up if hoping to remain in the business of offering pizza to children and their parents. Beyond that, I honestly don’t know what to think of this and would like to hear an explanation from James Alefantis himself before leaping to conclusions.

As for the artwork claimed to be on the bathroom walls within his business, I want to see the proof.

Perusing 4chan this afternoon and not finding much in the way of concrete evidence there either…

So…instead I’ll focus on what connections clearly do exist, setting aside all allegations for now.

1.) John Podesta was the former chairman of the 2016 Hillary Clinton presidential campaign, and he previously served as chief of staff to President Bill Clinton and Counselor to President Barack Obama.

2.) Tony Podesta is John’s brother and said to be closely connected with the Barack Obama White House and has repeatedly been named one of Washington’s most powerful lobbyists and fundraisers.

To be continued…

Returning on 12/6/16: First off, sharing this: “MajesticApe celebrates Birthdays 1.20.12 — Video recorded during Sasha Lord’s birthday party at Comet Ping Pong“:

That’s undeniably some weird ass shit. Don’t even know what to think of it, first watching it about a week ago.

Finally back to this topic because I’d like to finally close out the tabs that have been open since first posting this. Don’t have much more to say. People can read and watch what’s out there and make their own assessments. I personally feel these are some creepy, weird folks, but won’t claim to have enough access to quality evidence to make any definitive assertions in regards to criminal behavior. Will say the “satanic” ritual associations conjured up by several people appeared laughable. Some of those artists do remind me of the goth kids of the ’90s who never grew up (speaking as one of the goth-ish kids of the ’90s who probably hasn’t grown up much either  reddevil ).  Anyway, the tin-foil hat-wearers appear to have taken over the conversation online and rendered it ridiculous at present. Way to go, guys. If any concern does truly exist in that situation involving Hillary and the Podestas and countless others, most won’t care to try to find out since there’s too much bullshit to wade through put out by highly-imaginative speculators. That’s what it all is: speculation. I’d rather the focus be on facts and clear connections without interjecting one’s own pet theories from the outset. But that’s just me.

So, gonna close these tabs and let it go for now. Don’t know what all is going on among those weirdos up in D.C. Power goes to the head of many (if not most) people. People like to push boundaries where they think they can get away with doing so. That’s a fact of human nature. BUT, I gotta be presented substantive proof before accepting the accusation of a person being a child molester/rapist. That’s truly a harsh allegation, and in this weird-ass case the proof of it is lacking. Disagree? Then go find better quality evidence to argue your case. Otherwise it’s just a moot point at the moment. We don’t know what all may be going on. Are the Clintons shitty people whom I wouldn’t put it past? Eh, perhaps they’re that shitty. Maybe. I wouldn’t completely doubt it. *shrugs*

But there does appear to be compelling evidence relating to her email sharing and breaching security requirements, that much is clear. Yet people would prefer to speculate about crazy child sex rings and high-level pedophiles when there just doesn’t appear to be enough to substantiate those claims right now. Not that they’re unimportant if true, just that Hillary deserves to be charged for the violations she’s much more concretely guilty of, and speculative hand-wringing over pizzagate detracts from that. Which perhaps it’s intended to do. Maybe. Wouldn’t necessarily doubt that either.

And this is why the entrenched D.C. establishment has become a cluster-fuck: it’s this cesspool of politicians most of us don’t trust, and with good reason. Yet we keep voting their sorry asses back into power, again and again. Why? We know most of those jokers are shady. The primary answer is likely that people are prone to focus on short-term interests and vote mostly for that which they hope to benefit most directly from. Not that presidential elections do much to sway efforts there — local elections are far more important albeit heavily neglected by the majority of us out here. (Myself included. Only been in once outside of a presidential election to vote in the decade I’ve lived in this state. For the record. So shame on me too.)

The most important shit is that which on the surface seems most boring. Apparently. Hence why we’re dazzled by all the drama that isn’t as important or at least where we possess the least power to make changes, yet we routinely drop the ball when it comes down to what is actually within our direct control and/or has the most direct influence on our lives. We play on the national level while ignoring the local level. Do we not? Seems we often do.

Leaving this topic here. I obviously care about child sexual abuse a great deal and speak about it on this blog fairly regularly. But I have no interest in joining a witch-hunt that lacks substantial evidence. Speculations only take us so far, entertaining as they can be. People do love salacious gossip. Sucks when it eclipses factual claims and drives the focus off of less scandalous crimes deserving investigation and prosecution. Also sucks that national politics absorb so much of our attention at a point when the local exercising of power is sorely needed.

Gotta leave if there for tonight. American politics wear on the soul…

More journaling in early October

It’s a new dawn and a new day…

Yesterday went better. Got pretty self-conscious the night before, hence that last journaling entry. Social awkwardness happens. But last night went much more smoothly. Opted to hang out again with a relatively new bar-pal with whom I share more in common. Nice guy. Much more chill and relaxed than that other dude from the night before. Was an easy, laid-back evening with no pressure to prove anything or stupid communication fumbles. We’ll possibly hang out again next week on one of his days off from work. He’s not seeking some big committed relationship situation either, nor does he even seem all that interested in pursuing sex, which is good for me since I’m aiming to lessen drama in my life right about now. Conversation over drinks and music sounds like a fine way to spend an evening these days. Keeping shit as simple as possible.

Still not up to much beyond working, socializing, watching documentaries and listening to audiobooks. Recently re-watched the film “We Are Legion” about the evolution of hacktivism and the Anonymous movement. Interesting subject. Also watched a documentary titled “Holy Hell” (on Netflix) about a really weird cult (named Buddhafield) originally based out of Los Angeles and formed by an aspiring gay porn actor. Strange what some folks are willing to fall for and follow along with. What else? Oh! Yesterday I watched a cool documentary titled “(Dis)Honesty – The Truth About Lies” based on Dan Ariely’s research into the subject. Read a couple of his books in the past and am familiar with his findings, but I especially liked how in this film it showcased a number of notable persons who fell from grace very publicly due to being called out on their lies and deceptions. Brings the topic down to a very real and relatable level worth deeply pondering on.

Besides that, my best girlfriend sent me the audiobook Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, which I plan on getting to in coming weeks. Previously read his book Outliers and enjoyed that one.

Not been in the gym as much recently. Feeling a bit resistant about this switch-over to this new gym since the little gym I’ve belonged to over the last couple of years had to shut down. Busier at this other place so it’s a little bit more intimidating working out in there, especially in the weights section. Will have to get over that concern.

Continue reading

“You See Me Laughin’: the last of the hill country bluesmen (Mississippi Blues documentary – 2002)”

Huge fan of the music of R.L. Burnside in particular, though I also fairly regularly listen to some songs acquired by T-Model Ford, Junior Kimbrough, Cedric Burnside and Lightnin’ Malcolm, and Asie Payton. Interesting to learn more about their backgrounds as well as to find out about a few singers I’d never heard of before (like Cedell Davis and Johnny Farmer). Plus to learn how their music became popularized outside of the Deep South.

An insightful film.

Hello Fall (late-September journaling)

Very little rest for the wicked…

Been enjoying staying out and about lately. Not playing the scene in any major way, just mingling and meeting new folks. Not really seeking much of anything right about now other than interaction and entertainment.

Will say that the one guy I attempted to date this summer wound up being a pain in the ass. Really and truly. A bad drunk who gets an attitude problem on the drop of a dime. People, especially online, like to say that we womenfolk should give men in precarious situations a chance, should be open-minded to the possibility that maybe they’ve been falsely accused by a female which is why they’ve wound up in the legal and financial predicaments they face, that maybe they’re decent men underneath it all deserving of a fair shake. Okay, well, I’m the type to give people a couple of chances to see what they’re made of, and this last attempt unfortunately demonstrated that some guys bring hellfire onto themselves. His financial problems appear largely to be a consequence of his drinking problem. Let his life fall down. Bankrupt his business, let his house be foreclosed on (which makes little sense for a place he’s lived in for 20 years that only has a $700-something/mo. mortgage payment, not much more than I’ve been paying in rent all these years — in other words, not some ballooning mortgage trap), let his child support payments fall behind on the one daughter he has. And the domestic violence charge, accompanied by an OWI, that he managed to attract last year turns out to be the result of his own drunken stupidity and negligence. He’s a grown man in his 50s so this isn’t some naive young man I’m speaking about here. Well, with all of that on his current resume you’d think maybe he’d be grateful that a woman would be willing to take a chance on his ass. Wrong. Arrogant and rude for no good reason is what he is. About a month into knowing him I finally had had enough. Can’t even be friends with a son of a bitch like that. Mean-spirited jerk is what he proved to be. Kind of embarrassed that I ever gave him the time of day to begin with. On top of that, he’s a bartender. I rarely ever date bartenders, and for good reason.

Story should’ve ended over a week back when I walked out and told him to cease contact going forward. But a week on he texts me saying he’s looking into renting an apartment in my complex. Yikes. And this is yet another reason for why I rarely let men know where I live. Don’t like being harassed in my own abode. All I need is his drunken asshole antics waiting for me in the parking lot at 2am when I’m trying to make my way back home. Told him I was uncomfortable having him live here. Not like we live in a small town — there are plenty of other rentals in the area. And he responded with denigration and spite throughout the evening, playing on my phone, trying to get a rise out of me. Told him to go away and leave me be. Kept texting mean-spirited shit to where I finally did give him a piece of my mind. First time for me to really tell him off thus far. Was working on keeping my temper in check, but no, he couldn’t let a sleeping dog lie. So, anyway, I’ll do what I have to do to protect the sanctity of my home life. If he wants a battle, he can have one. I’m not one to back down easily. His last girlfriend reportedly has no self-esteem; well, I’m not her and I don’t take this type of crap. He may be used to being a bully but it won’t fly with me. I didn’t do anything to deserve his ill will and am surprised he feels so justified in flipping me all this shit. Like I am just supposed to take it. Why? Because he needs someone to look down on and take it out on. Not my problem. He can kick rocks. And that’s where it all left off. Hopefully he has just enough sense to recognize that I won’t play with his sorry ass and that he’s cruising for greater issues if he keeps trying to engage with me at this point.

Unfortunate that it had to come to that. Was no reason for it. Should’ve gotten along just fine. But he’s a shitty drunk with a chip on his shoulder. It surprised me to find it out, but it is what it is apparently. Gave him a couple chances and wound up regretting it both times. So, I’m done. No benefit in putting up with that from a relative stranger. The man has nothing to bring to the table, yet he seems to think the world owes him everything. I won’t pretend to understand. Not even interested in analyzing it any further. Just stating this here so as to vent it out. That being my first real attempt to get back into the dating scene. uh_oh

So, anyway, that aside…beyond dealing with that tool, life’s not so bad. Not much else to complain about these days. Been listening to good music and hanging out with my peeps, meeting new folks and chillin’ into the late-night hours. Working during the day, escaping during the night. Not interested in getting tangled up in any new seriously committed relationship anytime soon. My former companion and I still have our bs moments, but overall we’ve been getting along better throughout this summer. Trying to take life easy right about now, going with the flow so much as I’m able. Steering clear of the partisan political bullshit since that’s a monumental waste of time. Staying out of gender-related battles as well since I’m sufficiently sick of the he said/she said drama. Humans are all capable of being assholes so far as I can see, myself included.

What else? Gearing up for a busier work weekend. Planning to share pizza with my former this evening. Watching the wheels go ’round and ’round. Ain’t about much these days, and that’s fine. People like to guilt you for not taking on their pet project or standing up for this or that cause, but ah well. Since when did they care about what I care about? Everybody seems to think we need to change the world, whereas I’m doing my best now to try to flow with it, to stop resisting so much and to learn to adapt so far as I’m willing and able. Sure, there’s a ton of bullshit to contend with in today’s world, which likely has always been the case. But what people reasonably expect us all to do is beyond me. Seems mostly folks just want to flap their gums over this or that matter, pretending to be doing something rather than living a life of action. Berating people to vote for this or that candidate, as if that’s going to change the system one iota by this point. Best way to change the world is to change thyself. Rather than worrying with what everybody else is doing. It’s too easy to stand in judgment of everybody else — no real challenge in doing that. Just a cheap way to appear like you’re passionate and driven without putting any real skin in the game. I tire of that.

That’s my update for today. Time for work.

Living and learning in 2016…

Upset a friend last night. Unintentional and inadvertent, but it happened. Wasn’t my goal, but still. I don’t regret my decision to pull away and change course. Not the same person I used to be and no longer wish to be that person. Sure, it would’ve been nice if I definitively understood that a bit further in advance to last evening, but sometimes we have to be put in a pressure spot to truly and deeply comprehend where we’ve come to stand. I changed over time and will never be her again, not like that. Can’t. Don’t wish to be. Some things money can’t buy and can actually devalue.

Seasons change and so do I, we need not wonder why…

So, I feel badly that my friend was upset by this turn of events, but alas —  such is life, harsh as that may sound. Never claimed to be a sweetheart nor the most accommodating woman around. I do care, but I also care about myself and my own progress as well. Wish I hadn’t been so allured by the offer presented, but old habits die hard. Glad that I called it off though while there was still time to do so, admittedly wishing I had seen more clearly sooner.

I don’t doubt he’ll read this, so partly this is being posted for his benefit. But I am also attempting to assert my own self here. Definitively. Irrevocably.

The heart wants what it wants. I can’t and won’t apologize for that. So I’m going to concern myself with continuing to follow it since returning to the past and the old ways is guaranteed to be regressive. That was a long time ago and I like living today in the knowledge of how far behind me all that was. So let’s just leave it there and move on. Otherwise we’ll wind up parting ways because I just can’t stomach that reality anymore, as he knows and as I’ve stated many times prior. What was true is still true, come to find out once again.

That’s all I have to say on the matter.