My patience continues to wane for so-called Leftists and “progressives”

Back in for the evening after work and have some thoughts to get off my chest here.

First off, let me note that a very close female friend of mine called again today and has been over time relating stories about her crazy female cousin. They’re both a little younger than me, which is to say in their early 30s. Won’t go into details here out of respect for my friend and her family’s privacy, but I will say that her cousin is shaping up to be the quintessential SJW (Social Justice Warrior). From talk of feeling triggered all the damn time to mentions of desiring a safe space, from manipulatively mistreating her family members and then accusing them of “bullying” when they attempt to stand up for themselves in response, to grooming her own fiance into a therapist-of-sorts to coddle and cater to her every whim AND outright bashing others publicly for their conservative views to the point where she brought an older female family member to tears — the chick has serious problems. Wouldn’t care so much if her problems didn’t impact so many others in her family, including people I care about. So I’ve been listening to more about her shenanigans in recent weeks, and the only advice I can offer my friend is to take a tough love approach at this point, for her and her family members’ own sake. Chances are the crazy cousin won’t ever see the light and might continue casting blame until her dying breath, but her allegations are false and the amount of sheer torment and pain she’s foisting upon people who love her is straight-up unacceptable. If that woman can’t get her shit together better than this then she deserves to go it alone. What she puts her parents through is particularly upsetting to learn about. All while she remains financially dependent on them. Ugh. Anyway, I’ve said enough on that. They will have to contend with that matter among their own.

That along with so much else has had me thinking lately about how little respect I’m feeling for the so-called Political Left these days. Just running out of compassion for a good many of them. Let it be known that I exclude classical liberals from this assessment in so far as they openly choose to call these weirdos out. But so many who profess to be “liberal” truly are not. Rather, they’re proving to be the most intolerant amongst us.

Who cares if somebody else voices a view you disagree with? Either argue against it or move on. What you don’t have the right to do, at least if you’re a person possessing any real integrity, is to dox them and basically invite violence upon them and their family members and loved ones simply because you disagree with their political positions. You don’t have a right to print false allegations against them in an effort to harm their credibility, lest you want your own credibility destroyed in the process. You don’t have the right to sucker-punch people who are in no way menacing you or threatening violence against you. That’s some cowardly shit adopted by low-grade jerks and ninny-babies with no scruples or backbone. And if your violent tactics wind you up shot by people attempting to defend themselves, I, for one, will not be alarmed and grief-stricken. Because you’re an idiot behaving in such a way that is destined to get you removed from the gene pool, and perhaps rightly so.

There’s only so much love to go around at this point in time. I’ve got compassion oozing out the yin-yang, but not for folks who aim to visit harm upon others without just cause. Having your feelings hurt does not qualify as just cause. For the record.

What values do any of us continue to share in common nowadays? I see so many people acting pissed off, speaking out against the System and taking things to such an extreme that it appears their goal is to undermine our entire civilization in favor of something extraordinarily different, something communistic/socialistic/collectivistic primarily. Well, that’s not what we’re supposed to be about in the U.S. Maybe European countries are open to such shenanigans, but Americans are known for our rebellious and individualistic instincts and drives. So good luck with that. Don’t think it will work out in the ways that some may envision.

Why would you want to completely undermine our civilization? What do you imagine you’ll gain from such an endeavor? Do you honestly believe the rich will remain here to be pillaged and taxed to the hilt in order to further support your income re-distribution efforts? And what will you do when they’re gone and you’re left at the mercy of  criminal elements without enough law enforcement officials to combat them effectively? I wish people would go deeply down into this rabbit hole to explore the possibilities of what they envision, because one thing life has been teaching me is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It’s oft repeated because it’s true. Because someone can envision a certain outcome in no way ensures that that outcome will be brought into fruition. So many complicating factors, so many unforeseen variables. Such is our social life, whether here or abroad, today or at any other point in history.

Life is complicated, life is mad. I witness so much passive-aggressiveness, so many pretensions, so much back-slapping for presumed victories, and yet so little honest and deep introspection. A political movement cannot save us from ourselves nor undo past problems nor perfect any society. Many have tried and all have failed. Because life’s stickier than that and less predictable — less capable of being made predictable than some might wish to believe. The top-down approach has severe limitations and tons of room for abuses and inversions of justice. History has taught us this again and again. Yet some people don’t want to accept that answer and wish to believe instead that it can nowadays somehow be tweaked just right to create the utopian outcome they so desire. This is a pipe dream, folks. Time will prove this once again…

Some days I grow so tired of my fellow humans. But then I aim to remember that it all simply is what it is and that no one promised us a rose garden. We must learn to roll with it in our own ways. I personally have chosen resistance on some level as my response, but that doesn’t mean I’m closed-minded to all these people and their concerns or unwilling to engage the reasonable among them in dialogue. They are still my brothers and sisters whether they can appreciate that or not. But then again, sometimes family deserves to be disowned. Time will tell how that shakes out too.

Will continue observing and pondering…

A glimpse into the life of Tanishia Covington (now charged after Chicago kidnapping and torture case)

Yep. That’s apparently what she spent her time doing…kids present and all…

Have since posted up a trimmed video of that footage, plus a few excerpts from her and Brittany’s grandma leaving the courthouse after their first hearing. It’s now up on my new Wayward Vlogging channel and is altogether less than 25 minutes long:

That’s right. I wasted an afternoon wading through her 2 hours worth of footage to cut it into a more manageable video. Wasn’t fun. You’re welcome.

“Why Black Lives Matter Is Bad For Black People”

Haven’t watched Cult of Dusty’s channel in a long while.

But that was a valuable video I’m glad to have stumbled across. Not fully in agreement with him, particularly the part about believing police brutality is such a prevalent issue impacting all races in America. Have to call a bit of bullshit on that despite having closely known white men who’ve been treated roughly by cops at times. Why? Drugs, booze, violation of parole in one case, smart-mouthing, etc. We have a right to freedom of speech, but insult anyone cruelly enough and they’ll likely react, some cops included. Not saying it’s right, just acknowledging that our own compliance plays a role here. More fruitful to fight the System in the courts rather than with an arresting cop on the streets. Best of all to not give the police a reason to arrest us in the first place.

Personally speaking, I’m not too interested in pandering to keep the black “kids” from getting angry. Might as well aim to say what we mean and mean what we say. Makes life less confusing. I don’t understand what’s become of the white guilt trend in the U.S. Like “liberals” are becoming paranoid yet bent on concocting dramatic events and spurring others into responding via provocative language and attempts at intimidations.

Autistic boy kidnapped and tortured in Chicago (footage and further info)

First off, here’s one of the latest news stories with the most up-to-date information on this criminal ordeal (yahoo news, 1/05/17): https://www.yahoo.com/news/arrest-of-black-teens-in-brutal-chicago-attack-sparks-hate-crime-debate-180845913.html

Glad to hear they will be charged for a “hate crime” among other criminal charges.

Specific clips during the press conference of Police Commander Kevin Duffin and Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson’s initial reactions: http://heavy.com/news/2017/01/chicago-torture-kidnap-video-kevin-duffin-hate-crime-police-stupid-mistake-kids-eddie-johnson/

A larger portion of the Chicago Police Press Conference (1/04/17): https://youtu.be/lkIJgumsydk

More information on Brittany Herring (Covington) and this crime (including both full videos from her live-stream on FB): http://heavy.com/news/2017/01/brittany-herring-chicago-facebook-live-video-kidnapping-torture-photos-arrested-trump/

NBC Chicago’s news coverage of this case: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Charges-Expected-After-4-Broadcast-Teens-Torture-on-Facebook-Live-409772755.html

“Black mob tortures retarded white kid in Chicago — 10th anniversary of worst case ever.”

Colin Flaherty covered this most recent story, as well as other notably heinous crimes.

Fucks with a person’s head to listen to that girl laugh as her friends beat on that autistic boy. I’m with everybody else who says four individuals deserved to be shot. That’s putting it lightly and somewhat politely.

And people seriously wonder why I refuse to bring children of my own into this world…  If that were my child being treated like that, I’d lose my damn mind, guaranteed. Guaranteed.

Just when you think things might not get any worse, they do. Look, I agree that black lives indeed do matter, but so do everybody else’s and this is PURE BULLSHIT! When you treat another human being like this, you forfeit your right to live. That’s how it operates in my book anyway, as I’m sure many Americans would agree. To do somebody like this for your own entertainment is beyond sick and twisted — it is a declaration to the world that you have become SO INCREDIBLY PSYCHOTICALLY DESTRUCTIVE and care absolutely nothing at all for the lives of others or for your own life. That clearly is the message being sent here. Crystal clear.

Also very emotional watching the part of the video about Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom, a couple young people who were savagely raped, tortured and murdered in Tennessee ten years ago. Listening to their family members speak is heart-breaking. I just couldn’t go on after losing a loved one harmed like that, that extensively and cruelly. How does one not give up in the face of such a horrific tragedy? I don’t know. Must involve a lot more strength than someone like me could possess.

Lord, I don’t understand how humans can inflict such horrors on one another. We are the special species in that regard. This all just has me in a pool of tears over here today. I just can’t even barely imagine suffering such a fate and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Wouldn’t even wish it on those depraved human beings who did that to others because it can only destroy the soul of anyone carrying out such evil violence. A bullet is much more merciful for all involved, not that I like having to say that, but I see no other way around it. Put them in prison to groom other prisoners to become just as wicked sounds like a recipe for disaster as well. But the Law will do what it will do, and we know that this justice system was constructed for this reason, to maintain our civility individually as well as societally. That matters. Doesn’t cease to matter despite such incredibly barbaric behaviors pushing us to feel the blinding need for vengeance. Gotta be bigger than that, or else forfeit our own right to freedom and/or life. And there I’m saying this to us out in society, not to the victims’ families since their pain can’t help but warp their outlook on life, perhaps forevermore. Channon’s daddy’s expression of pain, sorrow and hate for those who did this to his daughter and her friend is understandable. Hard not to feel hate when your life has been robbed of someone so valuable to you and for no good reason.

There are no fool-proof answers in this life. Just a bunch of tough questions and tougher consequences to reckon with. Very easy to get depressed when sitting with such material frequently, as I know Colin has had to do as a journalist and now as an author and youtube video contributor of this nature. I’ve routinely tuned in to trying to make some sort of sense of the human condition all my life and it’s lessons are heart-breaking and enraging. No getting around that. Just a whole lot of harsh and unfortunate truths to contend with and so many questions we’ll never have answered in this plane of existence, if ever.

Civility — I do believe that’s an important word for the rest of us to keep in mind as we go forward. Think about what it really means at its core and what it asks of us humans. I fear what’s coming could possibly be awful if people lose their heads and take to vigilante justice. But then again, I don’t know what the right answer is anymore. Just don’t want innocent people to wind up targeted because of the actions of thugs.

Just came across this Whitehouse.gov petition being circulated demanding that Brittany Herring and her friends be charged with “hate crimes.” I don’t favor hate crime legislation and would rather see it done away with other than perhaps being treated as an enhancement to another criminal offense, but so long as such legislation does continue to exist it deserves to be applied fairly in cases where it’s warranted. Imagine if the races were reversed in that case — who wouldn’t consider it a “hate crime” then?

Black Lives Matter, criminality and bad behavior (part 2)

More videos and information…

** 1.) “KILL THE PIGS– Black Panthers throw a Christmas party and parade in Milwaukee”: https://youtu.be/deAqo1xEfIk

** 2.) “Brittany Herring live video of Kidnapping in Chicago published on Facebook” (recorded live footage of anti-white/anti-Trump thugs abusing disabled young man — very disturbing!! Likely time-sensitive due to the video being removed repeatedly from youtube and FB): https://youtu.be/Zt_5z7C_fNc

3.) Compilation video of racial attacks and attitudes expressed: https://youtu.be/JY12O-BSvFU

4.) “Crime is the new black entitlement — but not for some Dallas homeowners” (includes Omaha story): https://youtu.be/qwwrNYEqVnE

** 5.) Compilation video — “Black-on-Elderly White Violence and Murder” (pay special attention to the violent clip at 43:11 — gruesome!!): https://youtu.be/9iKrtm_sg4Q

6.) Black youth mob violence in the streets and at Mall St Matthews in Louisville (911 calls in last half that verify the situation): https://youtu.be/WBtYjFXZCY8

7.) Another compilation of “Black-on-Elderly Violence and Murder”: https://youtu.be/Dt9ZzO2hsUU

8.) “White Guy Walking to the Store Gets Jumped for Being in the Hood for No Reason at All”: https://youtu.be/lVycbvQZ-zM

9.) “Wouldn’t be Christmas without large scale black mob violence at malls” (2016 news reports): https://youtu.be/V9qRCMrfheo

10.) One black female and former cop’s view of Black Lives Matter (a lighter overcap of the situation): https://youtu.be/iRz7Vb6MtgU

Black Lives Matter Info / black crime news footage and commentary (part 1)

1.) “Black on white hostility now casual — now on national TV”: https://youtu.be/t8eM9V63eAc

2.) Obnoxious queer Black Lives Matter protester on the news: https://youtu.be/dF-AAOgtGdE

3.) Minneapolis black crime wave: https://youtu.be/fE9RMY7tvOI

4.) “The video Black Lives Matter doesn’t want you to watch”:  https://youtu.be/8sImGjr1sTA

Yes, at some BLM protests they actually chant those words: “What do we want?” “Dead Cops!” “When do we want it?” “Now!”  Sad but true…

5.) “Black on white VIOLENCE & anti white RACISM can NOT be ignored for #BlackLivesMatter any longer!” (some very disturbing footage here): https://youtu.be/9SuPUBK-WyY

6.) Black mob violence in 2016 (holy crap! would hate to have been in that Denny’s!): https://youtu.be/QombSi3RaxE

7a.) BLM offshoot activist Latausha Nedd footage threatening “crackers” and cops: https://youtu.be/syJj56_iliE

   7b.) Plus more from her on Fox News after being brought up on charges (her “open season” clip is at the end of the video): https://youtu.be/MrQgceKxw7w

   7c.) Latausha Nedd was charged with terrorist threats (hearing footage): https://youtu.be/qV83HsGUEK8

And then they did later grant her bond. Still waiting to see what becomes of this case.

8.) Youtuber Sargon of Akkad’s examination of BLM’s list of demands (worth listening to to find out what these folks claim to ultimately want): https://youtu.be/fg0rTlq0u7A

 9.) Black kid kills and robs pizza guy in Georgia (notice how his family reacts after court), plus more news stories: https://youtu.be/vnS5CRRWvRM

10.) “White People Suck, Everyone Would Agree Some clips from the last year”: https://youtu.be/sl3XTWY5PSs

11.) “Black rapist to white victim in Little Rock — You deserve it because of racism” (also disturbing Vanderbilt University gang-rape case, blamed on past slavery as well):  https://youtu.be/1BtoTjukmrE

12.) Black Lives Matter protest footage compilation (mass destruction): https://youtu.be/-EO21JzTpRE

13.) “Getting Educated by Black Lives Matter” (condescending black women at on-campus protest): https://youtu.be/ztGl5dnVUDM

14.) “Why Black People Must Kill Cops – Some examples and explanation”: https://youtu.be/U_zGdMQdKoo

15.) “Angry Black Woman fails at excusing black behavior” (Fox News debate — observe the racist narrative): https://youtu.be/sVO1U-PYK4o

16.) “Black person who hates white people on crime and killing spree in Indianapolis”: https://youtu.be/NTw3Nm5vwUA

17.) “Law professor says Black jurors should free black criminals — revenge” (a call for jury nullification, referred to as a “Bronx jury”): https://youtu.be/AsYzGq_ZQPE

18.) Fox News debate between black men with opposing viewpoints: https://youtu.be/P6pT9Tcd2bw

19.) “Apologists for Black Lives Matter”: https://youtu.be/Hos7HouJ4DQ

20.) Ben Shapiro’s opinion of Black Lives Matter: https://youtu.be/PI5LeFo1EJU

“Wouldn’t be Christmas without large scale black mob violence at malls”

Saw some footage of this on CBS earlier while picking up dinner.

Some 2015 footage of other mall violence episodes:

A lengthier compilation video:

“KILL THE PIGS — Black Panthers throw a Christmas party and parade in Milwaukee”

“…or you die, crackers!”

Looking pretty free to me. Free enough to pull that shit out in the open and without fear.

And people still wonder why some of us refused to vote for Hillary Clinton. One reason, among many, is that she (and her husband) manipulatively stokes racial tensions in our country and talks as if everybody except white males belong to some sort of victim class, herself included as well as a female. It’s a bullshit ideology she and her fellow Leftists (or “Progressives” or whatever the hell we are to call them now) are promoting that comes with serious social and political consequences, like that shown in the video above.

Think about it. People keep taking to the streets and creating mayhem while screaming about their victimization in nations where the most opportunities are available, as demonstrated by people belonging to every racial demographic in existence. But rather than take advantage of the freedom already afforded to all of us to move beyond our stations in this life, these particular individuals take it as an opportunity to lambaste the rest of society for perceived injustices. And what are these injustices? An inequality of outcome? Well, you’re going to have that in any society — always have and always will. Because human beings are not all equally constituted. Some work hard all their lives to get ahead and barely wind up with anything to show for it. Others may get lucky via happenstance. But whatever the differences, they do not simply boil down to one’s racial or gender classifications. Our lives and individual fate are not pre-determined based on what race or sex we were born into, as history attests to time and time again. So what are we really talking about here? What it looks like to me is that some groups of people are interested in trying to drag others down, thinking that somehow will give them a comparable leg up. But more often than not the people most responsible for holding these individuals down are their own selves. Can’t fight that through casting blame externally. Yet we’re not supposed to state that aloud lest we be accused of “victim-blaming.”

This situation is turning into such horse shit. Our college campuses are becoming PC havens where free exchanges of ideas are damn-near being eliminated. Protests are breaking out in our major American cities, obstructing traffic and damaging businesses in every event. Criminals are being painted in the light of innocent victims whose names are being bandied about for martyring purposes. Our laws are being undermined out of a complete lack of respect for Western values — the very same values that led the way in abolishing slavery worldwide for the first time in all of human history (never forget that). Our police officers are being threatened and injured for upholding law and order even in clear cases where they are respecting civilians’ civil rights and due process. And so few want to talk about it honestly and plainly for fear of being accused of being racist and/or sexist. Screw that. Those labels are being rendered meaningless by this point.

Do people want a race war in this country? Or are these group members under the illusion that guilting folks will prove permanently effective in getting their desires catered to? Are they operating under the presumption that all others are too weak to stand up to their manipulative tactics? Are they really so blind and so privileged themselves that they cannot grasp how hateful they’re coming across as? What do you want? To dominate somebody else? To intimidate others while expecting the outside world to give you everything you want in this life? To live a life free from all strife, complications, interpersonal problems, challenges and inequalities?

Looks to me like people want to tear down and destroy that which they don’t respect because inwardly they envy it and yet can’t or won’t figure out how to participate in it through merited effort. Ya know, I feel like I’ve belonged among this crowd for a long time myself, steeping in the koolaid and blaming others for my own shortcomings and lack of fortitude. It’s sickening to observe it all unraveling in recent years and to start seeing how unproductive and dangerous that mindset really is. It’s toxic to society and it’s toxic to oneself. The truth is that plenty of us out here, whether male or female, black or white or brown, are ultimately responsible for what we do with our own lives. Yet there’s this popular mantra these days promoting the idea that we’re just a bunch of victims for one reason or another and that the cure must come from without rather than from within. As if the political system can fix all of our problems for us. It can’t. In fact, utilizing it in an attempt to rectify social and private matters only creates more craziness and more problems, pushing our societies further toward tyrannical avenues. I can’t go for that. Won’t silently accept that as the fate of my nation. We could be better than that but apparently we humans have to learn everything the hard way. Can’t seem to deeply grapple with history and recognize the repeated err in our ways. No, gotta learn it again and again and again because there’s always some new faddish ideology getting into our psyches and convincing us that this time it will lead to some utopian outcome. It won’t. But it will hurt society like hell in figuring that out.

So here we go again. 2017 promises to be an interesting year…

And people wonder where femininity has gone…

Cat dragged in something a little different today. Only have a limited amount of time to write about it right now before heading to work, having just gotten home finally. Am still a bit shaken up and upset. My friends have warned me for years that it may be a matter of time before I run into my own “Mr. Goodbar.” Much as I can’t stand the thought of that, I do appreciate their concern and understand how my lifestyle worries them at times. I’m not afraid to engage with strangers or to head after-hours with people I don’t know to continue conversations. Always been that way and mostly haven’t regretted it. But sometimes I do.

Last night I headed back to the place of a stockbroker and apartment complex owner, letting him know in advance it was only for conversation, guaranteeing nothing more, per my usual disclaimer. Rode with him to a town right outside of the city I live in. Had a nice place, seemed to have his shit together, figured it would be a fine evening. And I was wrong. Shortly after arriving he hit on the pro-life/pro-choice debate and asked my position. I am staunchly pro-choice, as most know, and so I related that. He turned out to be staunchly pro-life. Okay, well, I’ve dealt with plenty of pro-life folks over time and usually we can find some common ground. Not this time. The dude turned into a complete jerk, saying he normally kicks girls out who admit to my stance. Well, I attempted to pull up Uber on my phone so as to get a ride out of there since he became so belligerent, but luck would have it that no Uber driver was available then, which I showed him. Even downloaded the Lyft app and attempted to leave that way, but he’s far enough out I guess to where no one was available on a Sunday night to provide rides from there. I don’t know. Figuring such shit out after an evening of drinking is a bit tricky. Should’ve just called a cab and agreed to pay $40 or more for a lift back into town.

The evening got a bit hazy. I recall drinking a bit of his wine that was already uncorked [stupid, yes, absolutely]. And I recall trying to Uber out of there. And I also recall him saying that he’s booted numerous females in the past for admitting our pro-choice stance at just such an hour and in a similar condition. Next thing I know I’m waking up this morning, having wrapped myself in a blanket and kept away from him. He was butt-naked in nothing but his socks. I never touched the man. Not a kiss. Nothing. Stayed to myself, awaiting a ride back to my car in the morning after his tirade last night left me feeling thoroughly uncomfortable.

This morning I awoke and poured a glass of water, smoked a cigarette on the balcony, and then woke him requesting a ride back into town, as he had promised the night before. But no, he decided to be a total dick. Began calling me a “baby-killer,” a “murderer,” and told me to  get out. Well, I’m sober now and it’s daylight, so no, fuck that, I refused to go easily. I did yell at him. Yes I did. Last night he was so concerned with me keeping quiet, and I acquiesced, but today I had no desire to accommodate him any further. So yeah, I went a bit wild cat on his ass. Told him off in response, loudly, fully understanding his elderly tenants might hear me. Because fuck him. He threw out numerous girls in the past in the middle of the night for simply stating they were pro-choice??  Want to start the day off by calling me a “baby-killer”?  Seriously??  Sorry, folks, but I had had enough of his bullshit. So I went there. Told him I needed him to dress and take me to my car, yet he insisted on remaining rebellious and refusing to do so. He threatened to call the police and I asked him please to go ahead and do so, figuring they wouldn’t charge either one of us for anything but at least a domestic disturbance would be registered for his address. Because fuck him. Every other girl simply accepted being booted in the middle of the night without challenge?? No. Somebody ought to shut his shit down. That was my thinking this morning. If he wants to treat women this way, well, he’s opened himself up to running into a bitch like me along the way. He said he would’ve never brought me home had he known I was so difficult — yeah, well, likewise. I would never have agreed to accompany an asshole stockbroker back to his place had I known beforehand I’d be accused of murder all evening, even without him knowing a damn thing about me or whether I’d ever undergone an abortion, only based on my political stance in that sense.

He threatened me some, but I maintained my physical distance and repeated my demand to be driven back to town to my car. Even went so far as to beg him to do so. He proved smarmy, conceited, and sadistic in his mannerism and comments. A real asshole. Probably the biggest asshole I’ve dealt with since 2008, and that’s saying a lot since I regularly run the barscene and have met my share of jokers over time. He wanted me out, fine, so tell me the address to where I’m at. He refused. I called my close friend and while I had him on the phone this son of a bitch still refused to share his address so I could be picked up. So I grabbed a magazine with his address on it and read it to my friend instead, which this Marc motherfucker tried to take from me. You want me out yet you don’t want anyone to know where to come retrieve me from??  It didn’t make sense. A sadist, like I said. Seemed to enjoy making me squirm, hence why I was such a bitch toward him in kind.

But I maintained my physical distance. The joker said a few times “don’t touch me,” but I was across the room each time he said it. I assume this was for the benefit of any neighbor who might hear us. I didn’t touch the man. Knew better than to do so. My legal mind kicks in in situations like this, thank god, reminding me to watch what I say and to not touch anything or anyone in any way that might be misconstrued as abuse or damaging. Good on me for that, since that indeed appeared to be what he was baiting me to do. Fuck him. Weird ass coward. Extremely strange motherfucker, and no, it matters not how much money he may have. Still a weirdo looking for some kicks that I can’t comprehend entirely.

Anyway, I read off the address to my friend a couple of times and told him I’d be outside waiting for him. Headed out and sat by the road for a while, then this SOB drives by and asks if I want a ride. No, mister, at this point I do not. I obviously had to call for a ride after arguing with your ass for an hour. Fuck you. He drove off, then circled back and taunted me some more while I sat by the road. Then he drove back by a third time offering a ride. All this after a solid hour of refusing to give me a ride, threatening to call the cops, calling me a “murderer” and “baby-killer,” AND telling me to suck his dick if I wanted a ride home. Oh, did I leave that part out before?? My bad. Stupid son of a bitch. Fuck no, I want nothing from your weird ass at this point, mister. Waiting in broad daylight now in 20 degree temperatures for my friend to drive all this way to come get me thanks to your sorry ass.

We live in the Midwest where it’s currently extremely cold, mind you. So this motherfucker was kicking girls out at night when the windchill brought temperatures down below zero. That’s who this sadistic pro-lifer is. Can you understand why I stood up to him and gave him a hard time right back? Are you starting to see why somebody like that might deserve to have some grief flipped right back at him??

Look, I was crying this morning while asking this son of a bitch for a ride to my vehicle. I couldn’t contain my vulnerability had I wanted to. But like I told him point-blank: mister, I am not looking for a fight but I damn sure will give you one if that’s where this is headed. Because somebody has to stand up to pieces of shit like him, and I got all the time in the world to do so. He didn’t seem to expect me to flip him grief right back, which tells me most of the girls he’s treated this way in the past probably sulked and slinked off without giving him any hell. Okay. Maybe they were young. Or maybe they were scared. I understand that. And then he met me, and I can’t quietly stomach assholes like him. Just not in my nature. Right or wrong, I can’t do it. Like I already said, maintained my distance and was careful about legal considerations since I know how some folks roll and how they try to bait you to lose your cool enough to where they can then trap you in some sort of offense. Not happening here. I know how to play this stupid game. Isn’t my first rodeo, mister. Told him he had me fucked up if he thought I’d react like some 22-year-old who hasn’t come across these sort of shenanigans yet. Completely had me twisted if he assumed that was the case.

But I was shaken up. His words were intended to strike deep, but I know that pro-lifers like him aim for maximum impact. Probably the worst one I’ve been behind closed doors with so far, but still. I know how people are and how they can try to mess with you psychologically on such matters. I am aware of the decisions I’ve made in the past, whether this guy did or not, and I also know I made the best decision for myself and my loved ones on that occasion. In fact, the friend who drove out there to get me this morning was the same man I dated once upon a time who went through the abortion process with me as the prospective father. We talked about on the way home how men don’t have to go through this shit, don’t have to hear people call them these names and treated as though their womb is a curse. It is a lopsided ordeal, as we all know. And that son of a bitch stockbroker had no trouble trying to fuck women, trying to get them to perform oral sex on him, trying to intimidate women, yet he can stand back in self-righteous indignation and condemn US for our choices that he himself gives no fuck about helping make necessary. And I told that joker that. Flat-out did. I would’ve sooner hitch-hiked back to civilization before giving that man a blowjob, trust that. So glad to have not laid a finger on him last night. Yup. He might insult the hell out of me, but at least I knew better than to touch his sorry ass.

Another thought occurred to me on the way home this morning. I asked my former partner the other day if I sometimes act like a stereotypical black woman. And by that I mean out of control and loud and obnoxious and manly with my aggressiveness. He kinda agreed that I do at times. Okay. I accept that. I’m a Southerner and black culture stemmed out of Southern culture, so it makes sense. But I hear a lot of men, especially online, complain these days about how women aren’t feminine anymore, how we act too hard, too aggressive, too masculine in our approaches to situations. Okay. But here’s the thing, fellas. Some of these guys out here ensure this is the case, especially dealing with a preponderance of them over the years. You want a soft and sweet woman, but the reality out here calls for something else at times. I know what I’ve come up through and realize why I behave as I do at times, and I can’t help but see it as justified in some cases. Because otherwise people will just walk all over you, and then, thinking they got away with it, continue walking on everybody else they can. The buck has to stop somewhere, so I guess I’ve made it my mission in life when it comes to some males to become an obstacle to such intentions. I don’t suffer foolish assholes gladly. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. Yeah, I may cry during the process since I am an emotional woman, but I will most definitely stand up for myself and others. Period. Might not always do the best job of it, but this is who I’ve become, right or wrong. All I know is I’ve been put through enough with jackasses to where I won’t go silently when they choose to mistreat me or others for no good reason. Just won’t.

Some say that’s dumb of me since I’m likely to wind up hurt eventually. But so be it. Have been hurt before, so I understand that. Doesn’t always turn out well. But at the end of the day these losers at least tend to respect me on that level. They may consider me crazy but they at least learn to cease fucking with me, one by one. And hopefully, with any luck, they’ll think twice about fucking with other females as well since you never know what you’re gonna get. We all can act sweet out in public and then show other colors behind closed doors. Anyone who thinks I’m that easy of a mark has another thing coming. I will fight back in some sort of fashion, even if I’m bound to lose. Though I do prefer diplomacy and remaining reasonable, once someone clearly steps beyond that tactic working, what else can I do? Tuck my tail between my legs and simply let them have their way? Let them stand there trying to humiliate me for no good reason while I remain silent? What, run to the Law with all my social problems? No. I fight back, one way or another. Has that hardened me over time? Probably. Am I less feminine as a result? Undoubtedly. But I don’t even know what femininity is supposed to be anymore. Seems like a weakness on these occasions. I cry, I beg, and they laugh and cajole. So then what? Take the supposed high road? And just let them get away with their bullshit completely unscathed? I have a hard time accepting that.

So yeah, I’m not a sweetheart and never claimed to be. Had that motherfucker been in my home I would’ve removed him by any means necessary. That he lures women back to his home to verbally assault and then kick out in the middle of a winter night unless they agree to perform sexual favors on him is atrocious. No, I cannot and will not let such shit slide. Cannot. Did not. Thanks to his mailing I now have his full name and address and will consider what to do with it. I think other women ought to know to avoid the jerk, but I’m not sure how to go about informing them. Probably can’t do much in that respect, though I am considering at least writing a negative review in regards to the apartment complex he owns. We’ll see what can be done there. He’s a sexual harasser of the highest order, a real snake in the grass whom I just happened to run into last night by chance. Is it my fault for giving time to such an asshole? Apparently. As soon as he told me he was a stockbroker a red flag went up. Never met a decent stockbroker in my life. Should’ve known better. So that was my bad. But other women likely will fall in his trap and be treated poorly, as he already admitted was the case prior. So what’s to be done here? He has enough to lose that he cares about to where he won’t likely go full criminal psycho on a woman, but he at least is intent on being a serious pain in the ass in his own way. I wish there were a way to make a guy like that think twice about his choices there. I wish there were a way to make him reflect on his behavior and treatment of women to where he could fully grasp how uncool this shit is. But I am one woman and don’t possess that much power, so I don’t know what I feasibly am capable of here to warn others to leave him alone. I will most certainly return to that neighborhood bar and let the regulars know to avoid him and will alert the bartender that was on duty last night. But that feels like barely anything at all. This joker will continue to behave as he does and luring women home so as to harass them on his turf, and I’m sure plenty of other females will be made to leave in the middle of the night in freezing weather because this jackass despises their reproductive rights. Ticks me off to no end, but what can I do? He’s not the only jackass out there geared this way. Guess I can only look out for myself and my own neighbors and just hope others wise up to him. But that doesn’t feel like much help to hardly anybody.

What an asshole. Truly.

It’s past time for me to head to work now. Frickin’ joker started off my week on the note of calling me a “murderer,” a “baby-killer,” despite knowing nothing about me. Just because I am a woman in possession of a womb who happens to be pro-choice. Okay. Well, goddamn it. I’d rather be a “murderer” than bring a child into a situation where he or she isn’t fully wanted. And I sure as hell wouldn’t breed with a low-life like that man. It matters not that he has money. The dude is a sorry human being undeserving of being a father if that’s how he wishes to treat people. I don’t know what may have happened in his life to turn his heart so cold toward women or for him to take such a radical pro-life stance to where he feels the need to berate women on account of it. Will never know. But I pray something turns that son of a bitch around and gets him to see the light. Because what he’s doing is wrong. It certainly ain’t right and it helps absolutely no one, including himself. All that money and all that time on his hands, and this is how he chooses to conduct himself as a man in his 40s? That’s sick and sad on so many levels. All I was wanting was interesting conversation last night, as I’m always seeking, and yet here we are. Stupid and pointless is all this turned out to be.

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Update 12/28/2016: Saw that weirdo a few days ago for the second time. Ran into him in that same neighborhood bar and confronted him. Fuck it, I was out in public. Realized nearly a day later that my jewelry was missing (probably took it off at some point during the night, per my habit) and asked him about it. Said he had it in his car, invited me to sit down in the stool beside him and paid for my beer. Hmm. This is early that evening so I was sober, being polite enough to wait out him returning my jewelry. A few minutes later he retreated to his car and came back with my earrings and ring in a plastic bag. And once that was over (having already written off ever seeing those earrings again, upset as it made me that I didn’t realize I’d left them there), I resumed my confrontation and asked him a few questions. He asked me how often I come to that bar and was acting pretty strange at first, like he was playing really nice and trying to reassure me he’s not a bad guy. Yeah, well, no. I mentioned some of what had gone down at his home and he instantly began blowing me off, telling me to leave and go elsewhere. So I took my drink to the back room and finished it there. Then returned to him and the guy he was chatting with a few word to say. Told him he should discuss abortion-related matters with people in public before inviting them home if it’s going to be such a contentious subject with him. He began waving his hand and saying “nah nah nah.” Continuing, I said it was messed up that he’d request a blow job in exchange for a ride back to my car, and I told his friend to consider warning his female friends about going anywhere with that dude because he’s fucking weird. Then walked out. Haven’t been back there since.

Not much else I can do. Oh, but on another note, a friend said the guy’s not even a stockbroker. So I did ask this weirdo and he admitted he’s actually a financial advisor. Another friend explained to me that this means he may advise people on stock purchases but isn’t in control of ordering the stock himself. Ah. Then my former began putting two and two together and remembered a man by his description being accused years ago of giving a female friend of his grief at their workplace (a finance firm). This weirdo spoke several inappropriate things to the woman in question and then allegedly waited behind a concrete beam one night for her in the company parking garage. Freaked her smooth out, so she contacted whomever to report the incident. My former partner recalls running into the guy later on and asking if he still worked for that company, and the man said no. Also, strange as this is, my former also recalls nearly 15 years ago this guy walking into a local bar towing a vcr with a video stuck inside, requesting help in getting it out. My former was with the mother of his child and their friends at the time, and he was able to dislodge the stuck video for him. Then this weirdo says to my former that the video he was watching was of his last time having sex with his ex-wife. Shit you not, that’s what I was told. I’ve been instructed to ask the weirdo about that incident if ever we run into one another again, though I doubt I’ll be granted the opportunity after how last time went.

Frickin’ weird dude, ya’ll. That’s all I’m saying. Didn’t mean to meet him and am apparently an idiot for ever giving him the time of day or leaving with him. Bad idea on my part. Lowering of inhibitions is an undeniable feature of drinking alcohol, no question. And this is yet another of those events that force me to stop and seriously reckon with my lifestyle and choices. Has at times led me to interactions with very messed up people I otherwise might’ve possessed the sense to avoid. That’s just a fact of life, so I might as well admit it.