This is why I hate updating

The other day I clicked to update my blog’s theme and now I’m stuck with wonky text script. Changed the font and spacing (which also screwed up my banner text at the top), and when I attempt to go in to modify the CSS pages I’m warned not to do so since this theme is already vulnerable to issues.

I get that they needed to come out with an update to protect the theme from security breaches, but did they have to tinker with our settings in the process? Ugh. And I’m so far outside of coding crap these days that it looks like a major headache to attempt to remedy the matter. So, this is what we have to work with until either they come out with a new update that fixes the changes made or I grow tired enough of looking at it that I figure out how to repair it myself or switch themes altogether. 

My reply on the topic of the “Unnecessariat”

I was sent a link to an article titled “Unnecessariat” by a youtube commenter who has asked me on a couple of occasions to address what was written. Not sure if the commenter was the original author of that article, but I did finally get around to trying to comment on it today on that blog, but for whatever reason it did not allow my post. So, I will post my thoughts here instead:

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I was sent a link to this article and asked to comment on the condition of the unnecessariat (a designation I quite obviously belong within as well). Hmmm. What really can be said about all of this? It is true that times have changed and that nearly everybody wishes for a return to “the good ol’ days” but that it’s not going to happen (as the angry commenter above already explained). Is this a depressing reality? Sure. But must it lead us to drug abuse and alcoholism and completely giving up? NO.

Basically what you’re asking here is what’s the meaning of life, or what meaning can sustain a person through a decline with no end in sight. I guess the best place to look would be at the words of those historical figures who endured slavery and bitter poverty and the like to get an idea of what helped them to carry on. For many, it was a deepening sense of spirituality and connection with the Creator. For Stoics, it was adopting a simpler, more principled life so as to be able to appreciate the small pleasures that do exist despite the harshness of reality. That’s where I’ve been turning my attention in recent years.

I did notice the sentence in the article about “why they’re shooting drugs and not dynamiting the Google Barge” and while I can understand the anger it stems from, you have to remember that people make their own choices. Fight technology why? Fight the major corporations why? And the author also disparaged entrepreneurship, dismissing it as “self-rescue with unicorns and rainbows.” So you’re really leaving nobody any out here. I personally am self-employed and it suits me. Will such a strategy work into the indefinite future? Who knows? More importantly, why should I care? It allows me to live a simple life and get by, which is enough for now. Is the goal in writing this to incite people to blow up Google, and do you really think that will stop human progress? Do you really think that might reset everything back to times we like to romanticize about being simpler and more predictable?

The past is gone. And if ever humans manage to knock themselves back into a dark age where we effectively do reset our civilizations and have to begin building again, you can bet that eventually we’ll arrive right back at this point once again. Because that’s what humans do. It’s how we’re driven, right or wrong. Trying to fight all of this can wind up being about as useful as trying to fight the wind. Life’s not easy and there were never any promises deserving of being taken to heart that this project in living would all work out great in the end. That’s our own expectations fucking with us. Adaptation and/or utilization of the current power structures so as to effect change are our best options. Blowing the place up will only create a vacuum wherein another group of ideologues will rush in to fill the void, likely resulting in even more dire results.

Not saying that to sound apathetic, but I do believe it comes down to a question of what it is we’re really expecting in this life. To live on forever and ever in peace? That’s unrealistic. To believe we’re entitled to green pastures into the foreseeable future? That’s utopian. Sure, it’s understandable to not wish to be screwed by those who’ve grown most powerful, and we can work toward booting those people out of positions of power and figuring out how best to protect ourselves from such exploitation in the future. Won’t be ushered in via socialist utopian fantasies, though, that much I’m willing to bet. So, yes, in a real sense it is a “damned if you do/damned if you don’t” scenario. Because we humans have a tendency to both strive toward power as well as become corrupted, and that doesn’t change under a socialist setup either.

My own decision was to not have kids. People love to scream about how horrible the future is bound to be, and yet they keep churning out more kids who will be forced to confront these job and resource shortages. Seems folly to me. Perhaps this is a terrific point in history to forego having kids and instead of losing ourselves in drug and alcohol abuse actually do our best to educate ourselves about what is and what all has come before. Just so we can become better oriented in this life and therefore perhaps better capable of handling whatever is in store.

“Jordan Peterson – How To Stop Being Lazy & Progress In Life”

Re listening to this again today:

Sticking by the devil you know out of fear of dealing with the devil you don’t yet know…so true. Not that either parties involved are necessarily devils through and through, but we can and do get comfortable in our routines, however painful and stifling they may actually be. As I have and am now embarking away from, once again. This time it MUST stick. Simply must. What was has been outgrown and this clearly understood by now. It’s amazing the sense of loss though, even when you know it’s for the best in the long run. Very easy to cling to that which we know already, even as it keeps us feeling rather miserable.

It does boil down mostly to fear of the future. Fear of the unknown, as Dr. Peterson spoke of. Fear of getting one’s act together and standing on your own two feet also. Fear of failure, though we’re failing already when we insist on remaining within a cocoon that no longer fits. The lessons have already been learned here, so why stay? To forever remind one another of past mistakes and hinder future growth? Because that’s all that winds up happening after a while.

I do get, just as I’ve gotten it previously. But it’s obviously not what I preferred to hear. Stubborn resistance born out of nervousness and the desire for the comfort of familiarity. The desire to stay hidden as well. Why? Who knows? Probably just the human condition be geared that way, right or wrong. People and relationships can come to serve as wombs for us, but if we stay too long we wind up regressing. No question about that.

Been down this road many times now and just need to stay on it and not give in to temptation to relapse back to past comforts. Managed to quit drinking about 7 months ago and have been altering my lifestyle overall in recent years, so this is just another step along the way. And it’s one I can manage just the same. No real choice in the matter anymore. And I have been excited now, just as in previous times when arriving at this same impasse, to go forward into the future so as to explore and grow. It’s scary in a way, but it’s also exhilarating imagining the possibilities. Won’t be a rose garden (life never is), but it holds more promise than what I’ve been cocooned within the last 7 years. Change is always painful — no way around that fact of life. But it’s not so bad. It’s going to be okay.

“Why I Say F#ck No To BitCOiN!” (plus my thoughts)

TruthNeverTold’s video on the subject:

Hmmm. He’s echoing a few of my own concerns about bitcoin, particularly that it’s backed by nothing (a major issue with our fiat currency already),that it obviously isn’t limited since so many different types of cryptocurrencies are surfacing, and that serious pondering on the topic of financial anonymity (for everybody, including politicians and whatever shady shit they and whoever else are wanting to conceal) gives me pause. He brings up the interesting question: anonymous to whom? To one another mostly, or so it appears. If he’s right that a government agency is all up in that scheme, utilizing this technology to manipulate people into behaving as if they are truly anonymous online and preparing people for a switch to purely digital currencies — well, honestly that wouldn’t entirely shock me at this point. Sounds like modern life.

I’ve hung back from the bitcoin craze, initially ignoring it and nowadays looking around to get better acquainted with what’s going on. What I have heard on the matter makes me glad I didn’t have enough money to invest back before trading prices soared for bitcoin and similar cryptocurrencies, seeing as how the situation doesn’t look like it’s going to work the way many had hoped. It’s been interesting observing people throwing so much faith behind these new currencies, and I can understand their enthusiasm to challenge the status quo. But none of this smells right, ya know? It can’t be that easy to render the U.S. Treasury obsolete.

We’d like to wish it were a possibility, but how can it be? Money is no longer the true name of the game. It’s beyond that now. Or perhaps it’s always been beyond that, money merely being a vehicle for acquiring power. But once one’s firmly entrenched and the System is thoroughly corrupt, you wind up having to fight the System itself. Cryptocurrency alone is insufficient. You’re still locked into this grid and beholden to various major corporations, a number of whom contract with our government. Who’s side do you figure they’ll be on in the end? Helping free you from them? How would that suit their interests?

Cryptocurrency backed by nothing…  Except what? Mathematical computations? What stops a wealthy individual or group from buying up a vast amount of bitcoin? Bid the share price up, scare people over the threat of the bubble bursting to where they start selling when the market is way up, then buy up a bunch once the price drops? Nothing that I can find would prevent that from being a possibility. And then we’re right back into a situation no different than our current mainstream economic conundrum. Disproportionate amount of currency cornered would grant some much more power than most, and nothing is likely to stop that from occurring eventually.

But is it all another government con-job? Maybe. Probably. I won’t claim to know. Just wouldn’t surprise me if so. And I don’t know what you do about that either. It’s like we can run but we can’t hide and most likely will be caught. I don’t like it any better than the next person. And I wish I had an alternative to suggest.

This is why I get to thinking that we’re going into this dystopian future whether we like it or not. There don’t appear to be brakes on this runaway train. Corruption is real and it runs deep. Why? Because power and prestige is very enticing to humans. Control matters. For as innovative and daring as we are, we’re also very predictable in terms of group behavior. Marketing efforts have demonstrated this. We can be swayed and directed rather easily if you know what buttons to push, and the study of psychology has been all the rage for the last century. These are not stupid people running major institutions and agencies, and plenty of them probably honestly think they’re on the right side of history and that they’re protecting our nation and citizenry. Probably…

People often believe whatever they wish to were true. Facts are a funny thing — turns out not as stable and widely accepted as we like to think. What’s popularly assumed so often isn’t what’s actually true.

Don’t know when the shift in this direction occurred. Perhaps it’s always been this way on up through the ages, or perhaps societies always devolved into some version of what we’re experiencing. But what’s perceived by us  on the ground as decline heralds the rise of something else to those who stand to benefit. But really nobody truly benefits during dark ages, despite what power one may possess. At least that’s my thought on the matter.

I just don’t know that we can stop whatever’s coming. Not sure we can even reason with it at this point. It’s behaving like a force of nature by now. Prepare to be lied to and deceived. Utopia is not on the horizon, not in the foreseeable future.

Oh, and as for silver and gold — their true value is going the way of the dinosaurs so far as I can tell. Will retain some commercial value, but can it serve as currency in this day and age? No. (And, again, what stops a few from cornering that market? Nothing. Already happened before and will happen again, you can bet on it.) Many people are having a hard time wrapping their heads around such a claim, but I do believe it to be true. I guess time will tell…

A new dawn, a new year (first journaling update for 2018)

Well, here we are in a new year. Welcome to it. Can’t complain thus far. Had a nice NYE with Former where he cooked us a very nice meal (beef tenderloins wrapped in bacon, baked potatoes, button mushrooms, and fettuccine alfredo) and we watched the movie “The Running Man” until around the halfway point when I fell asleep. Was absolutely nothing like the book, for the record. Different storyline, the main character was completely altered as if the role were adapted for Arnold Schwarzenegger to show off his Rambo-wannabe persona. Planning to finish watching the film before the week is up, just to see how it ends. The book was great, but this movie so far is a piss-poor adaptation.

Woke up on New Year’s Day to dessert in bed (chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream). Pleasant start to a new year.

Today I took myself to the local theater to see the movie “All the Money in the World” starring Mark Wahlberg. Ate a bunch of buttered popcorn, which was my primary reason for stopping in, having never heard of that movie before. Was a pretty good flick. Decent anyway.

And I made it through my favorite holiday without toasting wine to the new year. Decided to avoid all temptation and not go out on the town that night. And I’m glad. Nice to not have my progress wrecked by one night of foolery. So, 6.5 months and counting is where I stand currently in quitting drinking. That’s really good.

Ran out of audiobooks for December and my Audible subscription doesn’t renew until Jan. 7th, so I began re-listening to previously purchased books: Carl Jung’s Modern Man in Search of a Soul and now Ryan Holiday’s Ego Is the Enemy.

Did a little shopping at Sally’s Beauty Supply earlier with my Christmas gift card and selected new hair dye from a brand I’m unfamiliar with. Eventually we’ll see how that turns out. Decided to bleach streaks in my hair last month that wound up being a bit choppier than I’d hoped, which I then covered with a demi-permanent black cherry shade that I kind of like. But it’s nearing time to move on to a new permanent dye, preferably one similar in color. If all goes to hell I can always dye my head back to black. It’s fun to play with beauty products and usually my experiments turn out fine enough.

On another random beauty-related note, I tried out the “jelly sandwich” technique on my nails using jelly polish concocted by mixing a few drops of a dark blue polish with half a bottle of Seche Vite top coat that I had been planning to toss, layering a cheap blue and silver glitter polish in between coats. Turned out quite pretty and has me looking forward to future “jelly sandwich” attempts with other shades.

What else? Delivered most of the treats I had planned, though I should make one more batch to deliver to a few more folks on Friday. Thinking peanut butter cookies with hershey kisses as well as Ghirardelli double chocolate brownies. Tomorrow already promises to be a long day, followed by more baking.

So basically easy-going over here. Chatted with my best girlfriend tonight and got caught up on gossip. Rarely does she find time for lengthy conversations since she has kids and a busy schedule, but the stars aligned for an hour-long chat today, which was nice. Normally it’s 15 minutes here or there while waiting for the kids to get out of school or when she’s out picking up food for the family. More hectic of a lifestyle than I’d care to contend with, but it works for her.

Yeah, pretty simple week thus far. Cold as Hades here, but hopefully it will begin warming up some this weekend. Oh, and I got the great idea that I ought to challenge myself to lose 10 lbs. by Valentine’s Day so as to keep from becoming a total sloth this winter like I did last year. Hate heading to the gym when snow is on the ground, so I need to start working out at home. Already am aware of HIIT workout videos freely available on youtube and really ought to exercise along with them. Really seriously need to. Because I fell off the low-carb bandwagon in November and am struggling to get back on there and need cardio to help balance me out. Improves the mood too, which is necessary during winter months when sunlight is in shorter supply. Will continue trying to coerce myself into going along with this scheme…

Ear worm that won’t leave me alone this week:

That was “These Eyes” by The Guess Who. Never realized they were a Canadian band before now.

Overall a nice Christmas

Was a pretty relaxing day. Didn’t have as much work as in years prior, which was actually kind of nice. Had dinner with my best guyfriend and his mom on Christmas Eve, then later met up with Former for our present exchange. Then today I mostly bummed around the apartment, aside from roaming around Walgreen’s cosmetics section for a while earlier in the afternoon.

Received all sorts of goodies this year, including a few gift certificates/cards.    My uncle and aunt sent this cool electric fleece-lined throw blanket that I’ve been sleeping with (and which my cat has fallen in love with). They also sent along this super tasty chex mix with chocolates and pretzels and nuts in it. As well as some little slipper booties to wear around the apartment, which are always appreciated since it gets pretty darn cold in here in January and February. And I also received thick socks from a few people, as are always needed. Former went on a shopping spree this year and picked up everything he’s heard me talk about in recent months, from silicone baking sheets to sweatpants to straws (I have trouble finding ones that don’t bend, ha) to a comfy lounging sweater to socks to a pack of ankle wraps to a speed loader for my pistol to his customary box of chocolates, plus gift cards to two stores and a gift certificate to get a manicure and pedicure at the local Asian-owned salon that I like best. Very sweet of him.    I only feel bad that I didn’t buy him more fun stuff, focusing mostly on the things he needs like bunches of socks and a few pairs of warm thermal underwear and a new bread knife and another Martha Stewart cookbook (he’s a big fan of her work).

So he spent the day wrapping presents before heading to dinner with his family and I chilled here at my apartment and puttered around online mostly. Enjoyed the leftovers my buddy sent me home with yesterday. Tasty ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, his mom’s corn casserole, with slices of pear and chocolate cake for dessert.

Chatted with my Grandma again briefly earlier today on the phone. Messaged a few friends and my uncle and cousin. Don’t have any work scheduled for tomorrow so I’ll likely be bumming around the apartment some more, aside from heading to the grocery store (in need of more seltzer water — forgot to stock up for the holidays).

Not sure what will be planned for New Year’s Eve just yet. Maybe a dinner out. Maybe a night in. We’ll see.

All in all, it was a pleasant Christmas. The neighbors even knocked off their fighting, which was nice since I can hear them plain as day through my bathroom walls. Wanted to drop off some treats to a couple neighbors but that can wait. The rest of my gift-giving will be for the new year.

Even heard from a buddy I haven’t seen in quite a while. One of the downsides of staying away from bars is we never run into one another anymore, and he moved to a new house that I’ve yet to visit. Will respond to him tomorrow. Been missing his company too, but such is the way things go when my lifestyle changed. Maybe one of these days I’ll head over to see his new place and catch up.

Back to watching youtube videos now.

Christmas Eve drama

Currently in the process of getting ready to head out, having baked some brownies last night I intend to share with a lady friend of mine, with plans to go over to my best guyfriend’s place to have dinner with him and his mom. But while sitting here in my livingroom right now I’m listening to the neighbors upstairs fighting, as they’ve been doing frequently in recent days. Sometimes it’s the man and woman, but this time it’s the man yelling at a little boy. Kind of unsettling. I try to give neighbors the benefit of the doubt since we all have our moments and get into loud arguments at times. Never called the police on any of them over it and am glad none have done so on me either over the years (though I’m much quieter these days). But still. It’s more difficult to tune out when a kid is crying on and on and on. Went upstairs and listened in the hallway a few minutes ago to try to find out how bad the fight is, but I can hear them more clearly through my own bathroom walls. Puts a damper on the holidays when these fights keep erupting over and over again.

But you have to be careful about approaching people over that sort of thing. Never know what all is going on on the other side of that door. And sometimes it just sounds worse than it actually is. Overreacting helps nobody. One time several years ago a young couple were living up there and fighting so loudly to where I did wind up banging on the door with my stun gun in tow. They were scaring the shit out of me with the way she was screaming. Turned out to not be that bad of a scene despite her dramatic screams, and they later apologized to me and kept the noise down after that. And I told them that I just cannot tune out the sounds of a woman screaming like that. Hurts the soul to try to do so. And they understood and rectified the situation and we all were cool after that.

But this family I’ve already had issues with since their kids were throwing boxes of lit matches out the window a few months back, pissing off a bunch of us neighbors who’d prefer the place not be burnt down. And the mother blew her top at everybody when we confronted her about it, immediately denying her kids had done anything wrong or been left unattended. Pure bullshit, yes. And she tried getting in the face of a man who lives downstairs, creating a very tense situation that took his girlfriend intervening to deescalate. Shouldn’t have gone that far, but that’s how people can be around here. Hence why I don’t knock on doors unless I feel it’s absolutely necessary, which is extremely rarely.

The landlord knows and just tells us to call the police. But most of us here prefer not to involve the police in our business unless it’s an emergency. Best to know what all is going on before calling them since they’re not there to mediate our personal affairs and someone might wind up going to jail even if it’s not fully warranted. So…there’s always that consideration.

They seem to be piping down now. That’s good. Just makes me nervous is all.

“Joe Rogan Experience #1055 – Bret Weinstein”

Saturday afternoon viewing: