Dispatches from the barscene

Because I am apparently incapable or at least uncooperative about getting sober at this point in time.

Tonight I witnessed a woman who was visibly pregnant (asked her and confirmed it)  DRINKING AND SMOKING while out at our bar. Fucked me all up to witness it. I don’t give a DAMN what your excuse might be, that is seriously FUCKED UP. That unborn child has to live with the ramifications. No question. That IMO is WRONG AS HELL. Not that this is the first time I’ve encountered a late-term pregnant woman up in the bar choosing to behave this way.

Makes me hate myself that I am even there to see it. That I am even breathing the same oxygen. FUCK YOU if you are that kind of mother-to-be. FUCK YOU ENTIRELY! To hell with you. Ain’t nothing better gonna stem from this.

She was a white woman. Stating it plain. Last one I dealt with was a black woman, so let’s keep it all straight. Obviously only cares about herself, about what welfare benefits she might access. No fucks given for her unborn child. I watched her tonight. Interacted with her. No FUCKS GIVEN FOR THAT POTENTIAL CHILD. And her belly was big enough that her navel was protruding, hence why I even asked about her state of being and felt confident I wouldn’t mistakenly offend her.

That is UTTER BULLSHIT. PERIOD. Your body is the unborn’s first environment. YOU KNOW THAT! Not a secret. Fuck this irresponsible BULLSHIT. I don’t have kids myself because I at least recognize my own lackings in that department. My own irresponsibility. Therefore, I do everything in my own power to not get pregnant. Yet we have these fucking bitches out here in society who give no fucks and have kids willy-nilly, often with men who don’t desire the kids, while behaving like jackasses throughout their pregnancies. Very tough to observe.

And yet they like to act like they are morally superior for not undergoing an abortion? But how so? YOU ARE THIS POTENTIAL CHILD’S FIRST ENVIRONMENT. If they can’t maintain that respectably, then what can you justifiably expect from them thereon?? The unborn are entirely dependent ON YOU. Yes, motherhood matters. More than some apparently seem to realize. Yet our criminal justice system won’t stop them. Nobody is willing in this PC culture day and age to say to these women that this is FUCKED UP. PERIOD. Not okay. No excuses. Don’t care how bad your ex mistreated you, nor how poorly you might’ve been raised. Doesn’t matter now once you assume responsibility for raising another human being. That’s a HUGE obligation, hence why I choose not to undertake it. And yet the vast majority do and some don’t seem to care if they damage their youngens’ chances right out the gate.

People like to tell me how immoral of a woman I am for having been an escort in my 20s. Had to listen to a guy cuss me out about that just a week ago. In my mid-30s now. Doesn’t seem to matter how long ago I gave that up or what I care to say about it. And yet I had the sense to recognize early on that family planning is important and that I didn’t want to wind up a single mom. I understood that in my teen years. However, so many mothers like to act like I am some kind of “sell out” for not following in their footsteps. Which is insane, flat out. Why would I wish to be wrapped up in family court with a man who wants no part in helping raise a kid he didn’t expect to be created? Why? Who is this truly fair for? Not the kid(s), not the father(s), and often not the mother either despite her holding more control than the other parties involved.

I get sick of this shit. Would like to go out drinking without a pregnant woman showing up and injuring my morale. Fucks up my spirit. Makes me feel like a bad person for even sharing space with such individuals. Hence why I left promptly. Such bullshit. How is that NOT a crime?? How come so many people accept that nonsense? How come we as a society continue to ignore such behavior? How do we ignore it? How do we pretend it doesn’t matter? Yet, let a father fall behind on child support payments and we get our pitchforks out.

It’s messed up, that’s what I am saying.

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