Journaling on a Friday evening in early February 2017

Been sick frequently this winter. Colds. Been battling this last one for over a week now. Makes me tired, has kept me indoors this whole week when not working. No desire for in-person company. Been skipping the gym lately too. Downtime. Sleeping more.

Mostly watching the wheels go ’round and ’round online during my waking hours. Observing the political fallout. Catching up on some of the news stories.

Currently listening to the audiobook The Undoing Project: A Friendship That Changed Our Minds by Michael Lewis. Enjoying it. Prior to that listened to Thomas Sowell’s Intellectuals and Race and loved it. Will be re-listening to that one again! Mostly sticking with audiobooks these days, partly because lighting in my apartment sucks. Need to remedy that.

Been cooking at home more than usual, so that’s good. Tried my hand at making lasagna for the first time in a years a couple weeks back. Turned out okay. Nothing to write home about though. Otherwise fixing other simpler pasta dishes. Screw Atkins for now. It can wait.

Still drink more than I ought to. I recognize that. But don’t mind it so much so long as I stay home, risking no OWIs or unnecessary drama with others. Work for the day is done, might as well crack open a cold one and watch the internet. Or so goes what my internal gremlin lures me into agreeing with. Dastardly devil on my shoulder, undeniable in recent years. Being honest and frank there. Nobody’s fault but mine though. Change will come voluntarily or I will be forced to change eventually against my will and under dire circumstances — that’s usually how life rolls. Same with smoking cigarettes with reckless abandon. Catches up to a person and is likely a big factor in why I’ve stayed sick with colds so much of this winter thus far. Sucks when one’s principles don’t line up sufficiently with one’s habits and lifestyle. But little by little I inch into the future, nerdling all along the way.

Perhaps I’m nervous about coping with the realities of today’s world sober.  LOL  Sad but likely true. Watching the news always makes me want to take a drink. Hence why I don’t subscribe to cable tv and haven’t for several years. Not worth the stress and expense. Can get stressed out well enough on the internet — no need for an additional bill.

But so long as I keep my butt at home alone, the consequences remain primarily mine to contend with. And the internet’s too perhaps, since you can’t keep me off this thing.

Anyway, thrashed myself enough over my shortcomings for one evening on here. What else? The herd of buffaloes are running amok upstairs at the moment. High turnover rate in that apartment, but they never cease to rent the space to families with what sounds like a whole litter of children. Sounds like they’re practicing wrestling moves. Turning the volume up and moving on…

The wheels never stop turning in this world. And a part of me can sympathize with my fellow Luddites (and/or neurotics) who can’t come to grips with it all in a meaningful and lasting way. Seems to knock a person off-center regularly. Resist it and wind up dragged along by it. Yeah, appears to be the way it works. Welcome to modern life and a globe saturated with billions of humans, all politically-motivated and incessantly bitching and grumbling and competing. Such is human life. Just a question of how we react to it and what information we’re operating with. We all like to think the info we’re operating with is supreme, but often it really isn’t. There’s so much to learn that it would take multiple lifetimes to make sufficient sense of it all. Plus, the social and technological scapes are always changing. Forever in motion. Any point in time we aim to focus on winds up being little more than a freeze-frame, a mere photograph of a moment in history that now is already rapidly moving behind us. Hence why action matters but also can prove so destructive. Can damn-near paralyze a person staring into this abyss nowadays.

Some are more goal-oriented than others. That’s probably a good thing, generally speaking. Cuts down on neuroticism when one doesn’t doesn’t bite off more than he or she can chew. Unfortunately, that boils back down to one’s nature more often than not. Difficult lesson to grasp and even harder to remedy.

That’s enough to say today.

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