Gripe, gripe, grumble, grumble

Yup, heading back up north within a couple days. People who are used to living alone get set in their ways, myself included. Aging can do a number on a person, especially when they already had a highly anxious, nervous, easily agitated temperament to begin with. Not sure how to deal with that. Lacking the patience to do so.

Needing a vacation from my vacation at this point. Way too much tension down this way that I hadn’t bargained on bubbling up to the surface and creating so much friction.

One problem is with people growing so incredibly dependent on someone and then winding up essentially handicapped when that person passes away. Then the dependency winds up being distributed to the rest of the family and community and friends, which can work out all right if the dependent person is capable of being flexible. But when not, problems arise and tempers flare. The world will not bend and mold so as to suit one person’s preferences. Gotta learn what you can while you can. Much harder to play catch-up once you’re so much older. That’s not meant to be mean…just stating the obvious.

And what do you do when that’s not the case and opportunities have already been squandered? I don’t know. And I’d really hate to have to find out for myself. Will most definitely keep this in mind in going forward.

I love my family, but we’re an irritating lot. As are all families, I imagine. Just know that it will be nice to return to the Midwest to be back on my own. This trip may have cured my sense of loneliness, at least for a lengthy spell.

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