Because it feels necessary right about now.
Ya know, we womenfolk have tons of trouble with other women. We’re not some happy-go-lucky club who all band together to give males grief. All around I see women at each other’s throats. Been dealing with stupid, unnecessary drama lately from my own female family members, as isn’t uncommon. I keenly know what it’s like to try to help women who ask for help, only for them to then turn around and shit on the help they’ve been offered. There I’m thinking about picking up a female hitch-hiker once long ago (a stupid story unto itself for another day), dealings with plenty of the young female friends I’ve had over the years, listening to women disparage one another over everything under the sun, growing up observing the ridiculous antics of my totally ungrateful and entitled mother, despising most of the female bosses I had in the past, on down to relatively trivial concerns I go through all the time with my Grandma who begs for help but then just won’t frickin’ listen to reason and follow the advice she receives (from very knowledge persons, I might add) pertaining to necessary repair jobs and the like. Irritating like no other, yes.
And on the flipside, menfolk aren’t exactly peaches and cream to deal with either. Throwing weight around, acting like know-it-alls, stubbornly refusing help even when they damn-well know they need it, giving grief to the females in their life because that’s who they can get away with subjecting to “rank-pulling” crap, quicker to show anger because expressing sadness feels like weakness, frequently barking gruffly while acting like a female raising her voice is so totally unbecoming and unacceptable (how unreasonable of her), claiming to want this while chasing after that, grumbling about the rise of female autonomy while many don’t know how to lead themselves, etc., etc. Generally speaking, of course.
“It’s a man’s world!” “Modern women are screwing up everything!” “Blame the Patriarchy!” “Blame gynocentrism!” “You bitches would be nowhere without the efforts of us men!” “We’d rather live in huts anyway, assholes!” “You’re not feminine anymore — what man would want you?” “You’re not masculine to begin with!” “I work hard for my money! What do you do, besides spread your legs?” “You create the demand and then bitch because supply meets it?!” “You’re ruining our legal system and forcing it to cater to women’s interests!” “We’re changing a legal system that unfairly catered to men’s interests historically!” And on and on and on it goes…
Blame blame blame. Rabble rabble rabble…
Are there answers to these human dilemmas? Maybe not. Maybe this is just the way the duality goes. But few will probably be happy with the political and legal compromises reached in the end either way.
Humans are fucking frustrating. Full stop.
Both sides are right, and both sides are wrong. A little of each. Not that we’re truly on “sides” here purely based on our sex alone.
Males and females likely will never see eye to eye on all matters. Such is life. Just as all men won’t see eye to eye with all other men, and all women won’t see eye to eye with all other women. That’s life.
So what are we fighting for here? Rights? Privileges? Recognition of our plights? For entertainment purposes?
I don’t know. Getting to where I wish I didn’t even care.
Got to thinking last night while out walking about how I navigate in this life but how that doesn’t translate over into how to tell others to do so. As in, one person may be able to fit through a hole that a million won’t be able to march through. I can already hear the peanut gallery chirping about how that’s selfish, how we ought to be trying to help one another all advance and get by — but wait, isn’t that collectivist talk? What is the social contract these days? To subjugate one’s own interests for the supposed “greater good” of movements and groups? Even if so many within said movement are back-biting, blame-casting, coattail-riding, bottom-feeding, sniveling jerks looking to knock others down just so that they themselves don’t have to feel quite so low? Because that’s much easier than building oneself up, mind you. We’re obligated to help them how? Play the legal game of lobbing a ball back and forth, decade after decade, competing with others while we all lose ground? Regardless, still won’t satisfy most of them. If history is any indicator. Wait and see.
People say that if you don’t bend to help these people then no one will be there in the end to help you in your time of need. That’s true. And that’s why it’s important to take care of the people we are capable of working with. But that’s not everybody. Some you could help in every way possible and they’d still spit in your face at the end of it. Why? Because they don’t really want help. They want to bitch and complain and feel justified in doing so. They enjoy the role of victim and won’t likely ever give it up, no matter what opportunities present themselves.
Such is one element of human nature. Not sure how we get around that. Probably can’t since it looks to be something requiring remedy within each individual through their own choice and effort.
That’s true of a good number of males and females alike. The exceptions are exceptional for that very reason.
Was also thinking last night about that analogy people like to mention about the importance of securing your own oxygen mask in the event that the flight is jeopardized before attempting to help others with theirs. True. Still trying to get my own oxygen mask untangled, folks. But I continue to doubt if the strategies I choose to employ in this life are worthy of promoting to others. To each his or her own.
Guess it depends on what you want out of this life. I simply aim to get by and to learn what I can in the process. That’s all that makes sense to me currently. Used to care about the war machine and what it’s being used for, the economy and Wall Street’s treachery, the growing police state and how much it’s imposing on us, etc. Will always care about those things, but this is everybody’s world and apparently a great majority of people are fine with this status quo. Or at least they don’t truly wish to undermine it (assuming that’d even be possible this late in the game) and instead prefer to figure out ways for their own special interest groups to benefit off of it. Once again, to each their own.
Are people suffering? Yes. No question there. Humans have always suffered and always will, at least so long as we remain fully human. It matters, but when I look out on society and the world-at-large, so many of the loudest voices aren’t the ones suffering the worst fates. Mostly I wind up bombarded by “first world problems” — fueled and backed by guilt trips intended to pull support for their cause du jour. Some of us would rather sidestep the common pitfalls where possible and remind others that they have a choice as well.
Much of what we were brought up believing in turns out to be an illusion (or, in some cases, a delusion). What worked in the past isn’t guaranteed to work in the present. The old ways are being replaced by something strange and new, and that genie cannot be forced back into the bottle. Not in this lifetime anyway. We can cry rivers over this but it won’t change the facts.
People say: “But I’ve been screwed by this or that! It isn’t fair!” Harking back to the annoying words of my stepdad: Life’s not fair. Never was. Likely never will be. All one can realistically do is change tactics. Sure, altering some laws might help, if you can somehow keep them from being reverted back once again on down the line. I won’t begrudge people for seeking to create just laws — assuming people can ever agree on what indeed is just. But in the meantime, it is what it is. Save yourself.
Do I come across as calloused today? If so, it’s because I need to be. Don’t want to be but have to be. For my own protection. That is, protection of my own sanity. The men I look up to most in this life aren’t belly-aching over the laws — they either worked it out among their people to create the best outcome one could hope for (without involving the law where not absolutely needed), or they took their lumps and moved on (in several cases to a better life), or they’ve found ways to manage what is beyond their control (particularly when it comes to health-related problems), or they changed themselves and their lifestyles to become better people (as in quitting drinking where it was proving detrimental), etc. Some might not have married well the first go-round, but they made wiser choices the second time (chalk it up to a lesson learned), and some chose not to marry (or have kids) at all (and made peace with that). None of which led them to become complete haters or incessant complainers. And I can respect them as a result.
Me? I complain too much. And it doesn’t help when I gravitate toward bitch-fests online, much as I do tend to enjoy the distraction. The men in my life keep reminding me that that negativity is doing nothing to alleviate my own, and they’re right. Don’t wish to push them away through continuing to fixate on “social justice” drama. There’s a balance to be reached somewhere, but I went for broke in terms of trying to make sense out of the arguments posed by all sides. Stepdad backed away from me a couple years ago after letting me know he sees this as a waste of my time and energy. My guyfriends are tired of hearing about what I’m reading and viewing pertaining to the “gender war,” telling me repeatedly they have no time and interest for any of that. And there they’re referring to the men’s rights side of the fence since that’s what I’ve primarily been taking up time observing in recent years. Not a single one of my real-life guyfriends has proven interested in delving into any of that alongside me. Are they emotionally healthier, more stable people than me? Most would say so. And yet they have no time for any of that. You know why? Because each and every one of them sees (from what limited exposure they’ve chosen to subject themselves to) what that movement has shaped into as being toxic all unto itself. Why? Because they each have women in their lives who they care about, from mothers to sisters to wives to co-workers to former girlfriends even, and they don’t wish to be affiliated with anything that speaks so derogatorily about women in general. Can anyone really blame them? So I went it alone and reported back what I was learning, and plenty of arguments ensued between myself and them. A couple of them now just choose to listen to what I share and not weigh in much since when they do it’s typically to criticize the movement and members therein. For the record, these guys I speak of span the political spectrum, from conservative libertarian to Republican to Democrat to a couple moderates to those uninterested in politics, and they range in age from late 20s on up to 60s. A small sampling, yes, but it’s mine.
They tell me that my mood has worsened since delving into all of that, and I’ve argued back that just because information and ideas aren’t pleasant doesn’t mean they’re not worth taking time with, despite whatever mood they may incite. They tell me my own personal guilt won’t diminish so long as I keep listening to and reading guys who cast so much blame onto women, and I’ve come to believe they’re right there. Also they tell me there are much better uses of my time and energy, though I let them know I don’t regret learning what I could there. But now I suppose their advice is worth following since I’ve gone about as far as seems reasonable by this point. What more is there for me to learn from that movement that’s of productive value that won’t come by way of ordinary interactions with men?
Haven’t mentioned women I look up to in regards to this or their opinions on the matter since I’m not close to many women, particularly any who care about politics of any stripe, and I don’t really have any female role models or mentors to speak of.
So, I guess that’s that. Went away for nearly a year to tend to my own business in 2015 and came back in 2016 to the same old, same old. Different year, same ol’ feuds and complaints. It’s one thing to speak up about freedom of speech, which I’ll never shut up about, and there are a few books I’m still eventually planning to delve into even if they are gender-centric (been considering reading one by Jack Donovan), and there are a couple MGTOW channels that share interesting info on philosophy (one invites Dr. Sadler on to discuss) that I’ll continue watching, but it’s fast approaching time for me to roll on. Currently on vacation/sabbatical and so may keep on perusing for a couple more days, because I’m obviously addicted to drama like that. ha But yeah. I’m of no help to MRAs and their attitudes expressed can wear a person down. Not that they care.
Gender politics are so daunting to keep wading through… The thought strikes again that I must be some sort of sadomasochist to keep attracting toward that sort of thing, from feminism to the “manosphere.” That probably not being a good sign all unto itself.