I have the rest of the night off and no early morning obligations. Weighed myself at the gym today and am finally coming in at under 170 lbs. Actually about 166-168 currently. My goal is to get back down in the 150s. My trainer said tomorrow we’ll weigh me and then measure my body fat to get an idea of how much muscle mass has been put on. Definitely been seeing a bit of a difference over time.
Ate crap today though. What a bummer. Don’t plan on doing that again anytime soon since it’s made me feel like sludge all day since.
Been palling around with someone the last week or two that I’ve mentioned on here already. Unfortunately he seems to be getting a bit too attached. I’ve been very direct with him and encourage him to maintain an emotional distance since I do not have it in me right now to even think of getting involved in anything too serious. Eventually I may need to back away some, for both of our benefit. It’s been nice, but maybe I need to keep moving on. Not wanting to hurt anybody’s feelings. He has his own issues needing to be sorted out as well, as do I obviously. Perhaps eventually we can become platonic friends and leave it there. He’s very sweet but he’s bound to get burned in this situation eventually if I don’t insist that we back up.
Last night that guy told me that he always seems to attract women when they’re angry with other men. Hmm. He should ponder on why that is. Sounds like a recipe for either a lot of drama or being left frequently once the storms pass. But he has to wrestle with that one himself. All I can do is listen and offer some thoughts and ideas.
My emotions are still awfully twisted. Gonna take time for that to work itself out. In the meantime, my job is me, not worrying too much with what others have going on. Though getting out and socializing has proven really helpful in recent months.
Bitterness isn’t something we want to feel, but then there it is. Kinda hard to shake it after a while. We probably become bitter and jaded largely due to our own expectations getting demolished. So part of the problem are the expectations themselves. If we didn’t expect so much we wouldn’t wind up so disappointed. But some things we should be able to expect from one another, shouldn’t we? Though everybody’s got different priorities. Guess the goal might need to be to accept people as they come, for better or worse. And that sounds like an awfully tall order right about now.