Sick in the spirit

This is a bad deal. I’m tired of feeling this low. Don’t care to rehash anymore on here right now. Just sickened by our stupidity.

Got to feeling better for a while there, and now it feels like I’ve taken 2 steps back in terms of my progress. That’s irritating. Felt emotional last night once again. But all I can do is keep heading on and to try to put him and his words out of my mind. We really made a mess of this whole situation, and it’s disgusting that we let it devolve to this extent to where all respect rapidly evaporated.

Back to having trouble sleeping the last couple of days. All he’s capable of is riling me up without helping in any way to resolve the matter. So pointless and ridiculous. Not sure what I felt so attached to anymore. Feels like we’re strangers now, like we never really knew or understood one another. That’s just depressing.

So, gonna keep trudging along, doing my thing, trying to push it out of mind so far as I’m able. Feeling defensive does no good either. If he wants to lie and make false claims, I cannot stop him. Need to just steer clear of the traps and not get tripped up if/when he comes around next time. It’s just senseless drama. Totally unproductive. He’s deserving of no more of my attention. I owe him nothing more at this point.

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3 Responses to Sick in the spirit

  1. Wyrd Smythe says:

    Hang in there, babe. It does get better over time. Not much else I can say, although your post title reminded me of a line early in Hamlet. It’s kind of the keynote of the play:

    FRANCISCO: For this relief much thanks: ’tis bitter cold, And I am sick at heart.

    At least it’s not bitter cold outside.

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