Saturday night in May update

Just finished up a conversation with a Serbian man I’ve met a time or two before (not at what’s becoming my regular bar nowadays). We sat beside one another silently at the bar for about an hour, then began chatting. I’m not one for small talk, particularly when something heavy is weighing on my mind. We wound up outside having a very real conversation about life, and I’m not going to go into the details of it here, but I appreciated his insight. The gist is that one has to find a way to become rooted, grounded, in some sort of way to where he or she doesn’t allow the opinions and claims of others to sway him/her into accepting a false narrative about oneself. And, of course, that’s the hard part to figure out how to implement, which can’t help but be a personal struggle. Either way, he was a nice man only a couple years older than me and wise beyond his years. It’s almost as if fate puts some people in my path to repeat, albeit in new ways, what I need to keep hearing.

Aside from that, I’ve been reading short stories from Harlan Ellison again lately. Picking back up in his book Deathbird Stories, now on the final story. Fiction feels like more of my speed right about now, particularly quality fiction that I can get wrapped up in and let my imagination roam over a reality so different than our own. Feels therapeutic. Just happened to see that book in my backseat the other day and took it with me. Been pretty engrossed in it ever since, having already read a book or two by him before. Glad to have found that author, dark as his writings largely are (which I dig). Watched interviews by him in the past and appreciate where he tried to come from.

What else? Continuing working with my gym trainer, though this past week my diet hasn’t been the best and I believe it shows a little. Gonna try to stay on track in the coming week. Need to. Feels very necessary for me to drop more weight and slim down while gaining muscle.

I have a (thankfully not too) early morning awaiting me, so it’s soon time for bed.

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2 Responses to Saturday night in May update

  1. Wyrd Smythe says:

    “The gist is that one has to find a way to become rooted, grounded, in some sort of way to where he or she doesn’t allow the opinions and claims of others to sway him/her into accepting a false narrative about oneself.”

    Yes! I think that’s crucial for self-respect and personal balance. As you say, the trick is finding a way to find that.

    “Fiction feels like more of my speed right about now, particularly quality fiction that I can get wrapped up in and let my imagination roam over a reality so different than our own. Feels therapeutic.”

    Indeed. One of fiction’s great benefits from my point of view is showing me that I’m not alone in how I think and feel about the world. For me it’s been instrumental in in finding that grounding for self.

    I’m glad you’re getting into it, and you can’t do much better than Harlan. I can definitely see how you’d find him engaging!

    I was sifting WordPress Fresh Pressed for interesting blogs, and this one caught my eye. For some reason, I thought you might find this one interesting:
    https://dartthrowingchimp.wordpress.com/about/

    Or not. 🙂

    • Byenia says:

      We all are geared as we are. Can’t help that entirely, much as we may be driven to work on it. Divvies up across the spectrum however it does.

      Accepting false or incomplete narratives about ourselves spells disaster. And we tend to like to learn everything the hard way…

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