The language is breaking down. While we may generally agree on words’ meanings, there winds up being so many connotations tacked on within whichever social spheres. Our attempts at communication are breaking down. And part of it doesn’t even have to do with the language itself so much as with our attitudes. And educational disparities too. Wide spectrum in general.
And then we layer in all these technologies, particular the computers and smartphones and being influenced by the internet for nearly 2 decades (at least in my case) and all the commercialism and propaganda running rampant on here (as much as on television, if not more so). Been unsubscribed from cable TV for a long time now, but who needs it when there’s the internet? Besides, broadband is expensive enough on its own.
The internet is a never-ending maze. Very intoxicating, addictive. Lots and lots and lots to explore through this medium.
The Abyss… lol
Plenty of us waste too much time on here. I certainly have the last couple of years especially. Withdraw from the outer world and get absorbed in this alterna-world.
It’s forever interesting and entertaining, but I think I’m entertaining myself to death. ha This is not working. Something’s gotta give, just in general. Need to get back to reading my books. Tooo easily distracted by this computer. Ought to get out more. Looking SO forward to spring. Winters here feel so isolating to me. Just doesn’t feel worth going out if I don’t need to. Hopefully another month or so and we’ll get back in the clear. In the meantime, it’s easy to get lazy indoors.
Crazy times, and even crazier how much we take it for granted. Not sure exactly what to do with the times we live in though, personally speaking. Other than observe it. Work as much as I have to in order to just maintain a small perch from which to explore this life. Watch it. Experience it. Reflect on it. Listen to others’ thoughts and opinions. Ponder the possibilities.
Living too much in my head these days, not enough in my body (as Elliott Hulse would say). Just been feeling so drained for so long now. Something’s definitely gotta give. Guilt’s hellish. Losing an important loved one proved pretty devastating too. Only keep bringing it up because it continues bothering me. Just fucks with me, and I really wish it wouldn’t anymore. Papa meant a whole lot to me. “Bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck”…
Haven’t really been feeling right since a few months after his passing, to be frank. Probably pretty obvious to anyone who knew me already. Didn’t handle well in 2012, and nothing’s been the same since. Made some reckless choices during that time too, got angry (at what? I don’t know), and that’s on me. Mea culpa. Nothing more publicly to say about it. Just not been a good spell. Picking up the pieces still. Gonna be a process.
Someone used the term existential panic once, and I think that applies. Arrived at the point of wondering where to go from here. Not too sure. But I got an idea where to step next, even though I can’t see the staircase yet. Current obstacle is mustering the will. Been feeling so blah since back around Thanksgiving. Holidays. Whatever. Spring isn’t far off.
But ya know, it’s bigger than the superficial goals we try to set to keep ourselves busy and active. It’s a question of where life can go from here. I know the wider society has gone stupid, and I also realize there’s not a whole heck of a lot I can do about any of it. I don’t know. That’s where I’m torn. Have conflicted strivings.