“No Son of Mine”

In the mood to listen to music tonight. Not in a good mood obviously.

Here’s one I stumbled across and hadn’t heard in years, “No Son of Mine” by Genesis:

Sad tune. Beat sounds upbeat but the lyrics are rough. Came out in 1991 when I would’ve turned 10 years old and played on the radio frequently.

Reminds me of a story, seeing as how pains all love to flow together in my little brain. I was 18 and called my mother with the intention of letting her know I was going to get married. If memory serves me correct it was a Sunday, and I know the song “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol was playing on the stero in my livingroom at the time (stupid what the mind remembers). Before I got the words out, very early in the phone conversation she said: “My daughter is dead.” And I was dumbstruck… am her only daughter. Couldn’t say anything. There was no explanation, just that. Just quietly told her goodbye. Back then she had a knack for fucking with my head, and I don’t know why. I had been living states away on and off for years by then. There’s no rhyme or reason I can figure out for why she says what she says. Broke my heart completely. Summer of 2000. I remember the shock — just freeze-framed in my mind. No provocation. Had just said “hello.” No fight prior since we hadn’t talked in a while, by her own choosing. Fucking dumbstruck is all I can say.

That was a bad memory. Most of what I have from her aren’t too good.

Never did wind up telling her about my marriage plans until after the fact.

Perhaps a more appropriate song for such a memory, Pearl Jam’s “Daughter”:

No picture kept will remind me.

Don’t call me.

Music is the only kind of therapy I really trust, so I turn to it as needed.

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