Because apparently I can’t get enough of Paul Elam this week

Reposting the comment left there:

Okay. Decided today to peruse your channel—in an aim to be fair—and this video I, by-and-large, do agree with. Here you sound much more reasonable, which is what confounds me about some of the other shit you write, man.

Now, I do think you over-inflate men’s innocence, similar to how feminists like to over-inflate women’s innocence. While people like to think exaggerations are useful to even the score, it really just makes it look like both ends of the scale tip too far off-base. Would be nice if we could assess the situation without so many distortions and biases, but I suppose that’s impossible since we each live behind our own eyes. Subjective, emotional, irrational beings striving to be reasonable (or at least create the semblance of such).

Lots and lots of people are unhappy, both men and women, and material gain doesn’t alleviate that despite some hoping it will. So it seems obvious that we’re living lives out of balance and that something seriously needs to give.

Feminism has gone too far and is creating more problems than it remedies these days, that’s a given. But it really disturbs me when I read some of what you’ve put out there, like you’re just trying to scare the shit out of women. Acquit all men in rape cases involving women, nevermind all the other crimes men are falsely accused of and convicted for, like drug possession and homicides. When you zone in on what will scare and psychically hurt women most, you not only offend feminists and draw attention to your movement and organization, you detract from its value in many of our eyes.

All the men I know, once I’ve introduced them to your material of that nature and other videos on YT, have asked me to leave people like you alone. Three now have referred to you guys as a “hate group” (doesn’t matter if that’s consider illogical, it’s the sentiment that matters), all of which do support issues like fathers’ rights in custody cases and aren’t particularly fond of feminism or feminists. Yet they don’t want to come your way, because those sort of messages (“bash-a-bitch month,” really?) do not jibe with decent men with values and caring relationships. And it obviously doesn’t do much for women either, even some of us who take serious issue with both mainstream and so-called radical feminism.

It just makes me wonder what kind of people you are angling to attract, the lowest hanging fruit? For popularity purposes to grow the organization? But those types of people are poisoning your well and turning people off, and you come across as encouraging them. I understand you guys want attention drawn to what you’re trying to do here, but that approach leaves a very bitter taste and causes conflicts.

What we need, IMO, regardless of sex, is some sort of philosophical and moral impetus made possible by embracing sane principles. Currently so much is headed in the direction of tyranny and even more coercive exploitation and, like John Hembling even stated, totalitarianism is already here in the U.S. Academic and policy-influencing branches of feminism play right into that, I do get it. So we’re looking pretty fucked, and all this gender war crap is getting in the way and creating a distraction. Men need a balance of rights restored, I agree, but battling it out in the political and academic spheres is quite honestly just fueling the fire that’s previously been lit. What people don’t need is a mirror of feminism, lest we usher in the scenario presented in George Orwell’s dystopic classic Nineteen-Eighty-Four. Just sayin’. That’s one area where I personally can’t help but get hung up. I’d much rather see men go their own individual ways than mirror feminists. This system is fucking people up, and any further pandering for rights within it is just catering to an illusion. That is my opinion at this point in the game.

And can women play a pivotal role in lessening some burdens by deeply considering males’ perspectives? Absolutely. That’s integral, hence why I appreciate this video. It really does start with each of us individually, and that can’t help but relate back to the principles and ethics we’re guided by. (Spoken like a true hypocrite, yes.)

Anyway, go ahead and dismiss me as “histrionic” or some shit if any of you have read this far and feel the need.  lol  I don’t care. Just felt like writing this. Might even write more on my blog. As to be expected from us attention whores. But whatever. This is my honest reaction, all jokes aside. $.02.


Gonna ramble out some thoughts now here in my own space…

Human interactions are obviously complex, and in many cases it does indeed take two to tango. But, women can be abusive and women can instigate escalating situations where violence becomes more probable to occur. Won’t even try denying that since I myself have tested that boundary and it’s taken time to awaken to the unfairness of that double-standard. But, then again, I’ve also known my fair share of male shit-asses in my day too (neighbors, spouses/lovers of friends, a few persons I’ve dated, strangers met out in public, etc.). BUT, there are lots of female shit-asses out there too, including a few I’m related to (did a number on me too). Women and men obviously can and do severely impact us all. And apparently we Americans (collectively speaking) haven’t been right in the head for at least 60 years (thank you television), or has it been 100 (World Wars, photography, telegraphs, and radio — opening up a global perspective to us)? Our technologies have quite visibly been life changing, and the impact from that factor alone can so totally NOT be underestimated. We all are contending with a whole new ballgame.

I’ve heard in other videos Paul’s co-hosted how crazy he considers most women to be, and there’s some truth there, but I see us all getting funny-funny. Because we’re trying to live up to ultimately unsatisfying and unnatural expectations, regardless of whether we mean well or not. Some give up and turn to scamming, that’s true. And some have blamed our partners incessantly for our own individual lack of happiness — also true. Women may be bad about that, but isn’t it also true that we’re all prone toward blaming, or at least taking shit out on, those closest to us?

Because I grew up my whole life observing my Papa treat my Grandma rudely and with a blatant lack of respect, despite her working very hard both in the home and full-time outside of the home to keep the family going (per the custom of their era). And I watched her silently take it most of the time. Learned while growing up that their kids had witnessed him being outright physically abusive toward her back when he drank. That’s a fact of my family situation. She wasn’t very happy, but she stayed by him. Partly because she felt economically dependent, partly because she was scared to do anything else. Didn’t believe in herself as capable and competent to manage life all on her own, especially not with kids in tow. And she also related worries about Papa not being able to cope on his own either. I love both of my grandparents immensely, but there he was harsh and he was wrong, and I grew up knowing that, seeing that, living with them at times and daily hearing that. I remember as a young teen resolving to never be in my Grandma’s position — I’d rather play the role of my Papa if I were forced to choose. And that probably didn’t help my outlook on life.

I’ve seen myself take shit out on romantic partners, and I’ve seen my romantic partners take shit out on me. I know how that sort of thing can escalate, and I have a runaway mouth sometimes that I have been actively working to curb in recent times. Verbally hitting below the belt can hurt as much, if not more, than outright physically striking a person. That’s the truth, and I’ve been guilty of that. Had partners who’ve been guilty of that too, but I’ve picked up a bad habit there over time. Gonna admit it. Trying to become better. Continuing to work on it and been making progress. But whatever. I have all sorts of issues to reckon with. Many do. Certainly not solidly a woman thing, as is obvious to anyone with much life experience.

The thing I do tend to appreciate about some of the men’s content online is that it has served to check me and encourages me to look more deeply at myself and my behaviors. The vitriol, though, probably only exacerbates the problem. Depends on who’s saying what though. Won’t pretend I’ve become saintly in the two years since coming across this corner of the internet, but it has impacted my thinking, and occasionally for the better. Wish rather than compete with feminists men actually talked to us women and communicated what they want, what they are experiencing, and how we’re making them feel. That actually helps. Referring to us as a load of cunts better off avoided, not so much. That sort of shit just makes me want to distance myself and stokes the embers of rebellion. And for what? Gets us where?

Anyway, tuckered myself out on that topic for the evening (maybe even for the week).

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