Just watched Chris Rocker’s video “Your questions. My answers. :)”:
Found his channel tonight and watched a few of his videos (haven’t listened to his music yet, and did figure out he’s the guy famous for defending Britney Spears on YT years back). Wanting to pause on this one because I respect where he’s coming from there (although not as much of a Britney fan). The part where he talked about how he’s been in pornos and posed naked for photos and basically engaged in a lifestyle he isn’t advocating for others to follow in his footsteps — I get all of that. Been thinking along the same lines myself, hence why I’m hesitant with the topic of sexuality, much as I’ve always been drawn to discussing it.
I prefer to live out loud for the most part. Why? I don’t know. That’s just me, I guess. But most of us are pretty much forced to compartmentalize so as to remain employed and to reduce the chances of making the wrong people uncomfortable around us. That’s just the way life goes. I have mixed feelings about my sexual history up to this point in time, though it really did teach me a lot, both good and bad. It is what it is. Sometimes I do feel the urge to speak out to younger folks to warn of the pitfalls, but then I feel like I’m fixating on my own life problems that won’t likely seem relevant to most folks. Then again, another part of me says it’s okay so long as you impact one other person in a productive fashion and get them to at least think deeper on a given matter. And that’s where I’m stuck currently, pondering where I want to take this conversation.
Already laid out on here bits of my upbringing and what I come from. Didn’t do it necessarily for no good reason. Working on getting acquainted. Disrobing, perhaps. Because why not? What did I live this life for? To just keep it to myself? Why? As if other folks haven’t come up in dysfunctional households and wound up engaging in lifestyle choices that come with consequences. That’s just modern life. Welcome to it. We have what we have and we made whatever we did of it. Right and wrong, because this age of liberation comes with much exploration, some of which we may later regret. But we live in times where we’re encouraged to taste all forbidden fruits and to behave as hedonists, because the message is “why not?”. That’s the thing, the trap. And I would like to go into that more sometime. Just not yet sure where to begin and what’s worth sharing. Still bound by the discretionary clause to protect past clients’ privacy, that being something I continue to honor, to state that plainly. But such details are unimportant for these purposes since it’s about lessons from certain lifestyles in general. Taught me a lot, but also cost me a lot in another sense. Just the way life goes — it tends to be a trade-off.
I’ll think more on this…