Was wandering around the internet tonight and was reminded of a thought on the value of youtube. Youtube, if nothing else, provides us with perspective, both as viewers and as video-creators. What I find fascinating is how some of the things I’ve stated publicly on video I’m still working on and had challenged most especially since. Like the idea expressed in my first feminism-related video about not wanting a man afraid to speak his truth. I do mean that, and yet I am sensitive. Can create a conundrum at times. I give, he gives, but not all lines up easily all the time. In fact, plenty doesn’t — too goddamn much, and he’d be the first to say it. Hence why I refer to my dude as my companion, because we broke up and are in the process of transforming our relationship into something more casual. One big reason being because we argued too dang much. Very different people.
But anyway, I’m called into considering more seriously what I say and recognizing how I live relative to that. I’m free to grow and change, but hypocrisy obviously can and often does happen. People seem to like to harbor double standards, otherwise why do so many of us do so? I’m no exception, and in certain matters I’ve been well-aware for years already. Why? Well, sometimes I was wrong, but sometimes it’s just because I think the individual has to shake out how he or she is gonna. We weren’t all factory-made — variations occur swinging in all sorts of directions. That’s between me and those I date. My own sexual attitudes have been my own, forged through my own experiences and desires sampled from what reality has had to offer. Been thinking about it all throughout my journey and now am considering what’s worth expressing to others. And that’s where youtube plays a role.
Such a strange platform for this luddite. lol Known about YT since its inception, just didn’t spend a whole lot of time on it until the past 3-4 years, those early years being devoted primarily to seeking out music videos, news stories and documentaries, and watching women (and a couple men) perform beauty-related tutorials (interested me for some reason, and still does occasionally). Interesting to watch people through that medium though, to actually see and hear them and whatever they’ve come up with. That’s rather fascinating when you take it in, how anyone with a webcam can present themselves to a worldwide audience, for free. Nearly everything but porn permitted. That’s what’s captivated me since about 2011.
Amazing to think what can be done through these new mediums. Sad to see myself and others squander the opportunity.
The perspective-taking offered through that medium is one-of-a-kind, unprecedented. Shapes our perceptions too. Let’s us see and listen to each other, but also allows us to see and listen to ourselves and our progression over time, our development, as well as others’ reactions to us.
There’s also truth in how knowingly being observed affects that being observed. This project can wind us up in so many places.