Ya know, no human is an island.
Had a lot on my mind for a long time. Used to write anonymously, trying to work out the emotions. Now feeling the need to just go ahead and pipe out loud and in the flesh. Feel the need to confess what I’ve been up to, and also feel the need to talk about stuff that messed with my head.
The sex industry, at least on the escorting level, has been on my mind since the day I first stumbled across it when I was 21. Taught me all sorts of things, both good and bad, about myself as well as others. Haven’t felt like saying a lot on the subject because I still and probably always will have a lot of mixed feelings. But one thing I know for sure is that so-called “hobbyists” are a fucked up lot. Men who bond with other men over the use of women as sexual props is a very weird thing to observe, and anyone can get a glimpse of it on the boards of TER and TBD (those being the most popular national sites).
Funny thing is I happen to see a bit of an overlap in the mindsets of some of the folks on YT who group up under the men’s rights cause but who really only use that as a cover for bonding with other men over the bashing of femininity. Sick way to get your jollies, if you ask me.
Because I met my share of hobbyists and learned that their online personas usually were 180 degrees from their real-life actuality. Found out a lot of them are some of the rudest, most unattractive, most petty, and most concerned with the opinions of other people than all others I met both in and out of that so-called “hobby.” They had money, but not much else, especially in the way of bringing quality to any situation. I found those particular men to be so consumed with their status as men in the eyes of other men that they played these elaborate games and really worried over the online politics of their little groups. The women they paid for sex and attention were secondary, and I don’t even think half of them truly enjoyed their time with us, or at least not in the way common men did. It’s like they were always thinking about what they were going to run back and report to the rest of the herd in their fantasy-laden reviews. Made them feel big, bigger than they actually are, because so far as I could tell many of them were lower than nearly anybody else out in society.
And before somebody gets it twisted and thinks I’m picking on men in general, understand that I visited with men from various walks of life who were in all kinds of situations, sporting all kinds of attitudes and personalities. I met men with serious health problems who just needed affection from someone who’d take up time with them one evening or on a regular basis. Met men who just wanted to have a good time and leave it at that. Various levels of attractiveness and friendliness. But what I found and remain glad to have learned is that plenty of men I might have previously mistaken as not being my “types” or not being appealing on the surface turned out to have a lot to offer in terms of personality and spirit. After getting to know the people in mind here, I came to appreciate a much wider spectrum of men and to not be so quick to judge a book’s cover, so to speak. So when I speak about “hobbyists,” I am speaking about them particularly, separated off from others who don’t deserve to be tarnished because of the behaviors and shallowness of those jackasses.
Hobbyists treat women like some sort of team sport, something to partake in because all the other guys are doing it. Not for their own pleasure and desires, sadly. Because they’re petty and overly concerned with how they stack up against other men they wish they could be like. Well, normal guys out and about in society may share those views from time to time, but they aren’t consumed with that one-upmanship mentality when it comes to “conquering” and bonding over women. Not bonding with, mind you, but over. Gives them some trifling sense of power, of meaning to a life that otherwise is apparently devoid of it. It’s true objectification carried out by men who can come up with nothing better to aspire toward.
Thankfully most of my clients weren’t like them and regarded them as a strange lot too.
Perhaps knowing people like that has bittered me a bit toward those on the online “manosphere” who act in similar fashions. Kinda reminiscent. Figured I’d point it out. Maybe I’ll go into more detail on the topic another time, as in discussing how they’re rats who’d snitch on anyone else to save themselves from decisions they willfully make, or how they occasionally openly confess that they’d want better for their daughters than what they come to you for, or how they sit on the phone kissing ass to their wives while you lay on the bed beside them. Because it’s all about keeping up appearances in their little worlds. Yet you, the whore, are the bad guy, the “home-wrecker,” the “cheater-enabler,” the one deserving to be looked down upon by all of society.
Another funny thing is how many of my clients were Republicans and Christians, some even actively involved in their churches (and it goes without saying that nearly all were middle-class and the majority were married). Hypocrites. All about appearances.
But I was there and I saw and listened and was impacted.
Yeah, maybe I’ll feel up to talking about that some other time.
Later in the day… Returning with a thought that deserves mentioning, for levity’s sake. Five of the worst clients I can think of off the top of my head actually weren’t hobbyists. They were lone jerks, which the scariest types of people often are. Hobbyists aren’t known for being violent (from all I knew or heard about them), just disrespectful in their typical ways and consumed with petty bullshit. But they are also active reviewers who are concerned about being reviewed in kind. So a bad review against them could lead to them being blacklisted, and they know it. They’re just monied bro-club members caught up in ridiculous fantasies mostly.
It’s trifling, but they are changing the face of the online escorting community, and not really for the better. I don’t doubt currently-working escorts would speak in their defense, but that’s to be expected when those guys can be counted on for bringing regular income. Guess it’s fine for those who don’t mind working for weasels. It personally taught me how some folks, no matter how much money they offer up, don’t really deserve to get laid. It is possible for a man to get spoiled in that stupid game and to grow an overinflated ego that just makes him a big pain in the ass, and I probably wouldn’t complain if the game didn’t involve younger women trying to take care of themselves. Gets to a point where it’s as soul-leaching as any cubicle job can be IF you play it their way (though much more so if you wind up badly harmed or exposed to extreme exploitation, which happens far less frequently among indy escorts who attract and screen clients online). Potentially corrupting for all involved.
God, I’m tired of people. In general.