We live in a society that’s adopted the insane notion that all persons can and should be even-tempered at all times. It is a pipe dream, if even that, and it leaves no room for people to live out loud and learn from their mistakes and choices. Sometimes the truth handles us brutally, and sometimes we go to war with our own selves. Such is human life. And yet we don’t seem willing to let people live authentically as humans anymore. The demand is that we always act properly domesticated, or else face ostracism — a strategy that only ensures the crazy turn crazier.
The truth of the matter is we’re all crazy, to whatever extents, however frequently it manifests in our behavior and thoughts. To be human is to experience emotional outbursts, severe depressions, and moments of rage. The more emotionally expressive amongst us probably come across as all the more crazy because they’re bucking the stoic script (or are unable to adhere to it — doing so isn’t a choice for all people, apparently). Females are especially pointed at in this regard because we do tend to be more emotionally expressive, and it’s not uncommon IME that people take women’s ways of being as childish, psychotic, and unpredictable. But the thing is that men can and do behave very emotionally as well; they’re just more prone to doing so behind closed doors, reserving such displays for their partners and family members.
Everywhere you turn today there’s talk about narcissists, a term that’s being attached to anyone and everyone who happens to act self-centered. But that’s what people don’t seem to understand about one another: some are better actors and actresses than others. Because someone doesn’t outwardly behave as if self-centered doesn’t in fact mean they aren’t. And, in turn, because someone does act out more sensitively to perceived wrongs done unto them, that doesn’t automatically point to the likelihood of them being narcissists through and through. People are tricky to figure out in these ways, and yet we’re all pretty quick to school one another in walking away at the first hint of “drama” or “red flags” based off of some checklist of criteria we’re supposed to seriously heed.
As one eccentric out here in the bunch, I gotta say that that mentality makes life harder than need be. And for everyone, not only the most emotionally expressive, though them too. It’s that mentality that chains men and tells them they must behave in some such way or else be compared with women, and it’s what tells them to bottle up their pains and complaints over problems. And it’s that mentality that traps us all into modeling ourselves after machines rather than living as the social mammals we indeed are. It instills fear in us that if we can’t maintain strict control over our emotions at all times that we’ll wind up dissed and divided from the friends we thought we’d made. So people are learning to suffer in silence and to resist putting up a fuss, lest they be considered unstable and thereby unworthy.
I find humans to be so goofy in how we try to walk walks that run counter to our true natures, and through attempting to do so we wind up shackling our own selves. The truth is that not all of us are even-keel types, and that’s okay. That’s how passion plays out in people — it doesn’t just bubble up where everybody else deems it most socially acceptable and convenient or entertaining. We weren’t all put on this planet to simply make one another feel good all the time, though people like to pretend that’s how it ought to be.