Time for some music therapy in this blue month of September

That song by George Michael always gives me chills.

I’d like to think I’ve had enough of crime as well. That song leaves me deeply touched and illuminates something inside.

(Update a couples days on: Frickin’ loved that song since wayyy back. The passion of his music — feel it. Wanted just to mention a portion that strikes a special chord all unto itself:

This time I think that my lover
Understands me (understands me)
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be…strong

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind

I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
‘Til the end of time

If you are the desert, I’ll be the sea
If you ever hunger, hunger for me
Whatever you ask for, that’s what I’ll be

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling

Don’t think of me
Because all I ever wanted
It’s in your eyes

(Greet me with the eyes of a child)

(Yeah. I’m sappy like that.)

A song I regularly like to reflect with while out walking and driving:

That was John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero.”

A sad song that came back across my radar earlier today while out walking:

Haunting, gorgeous, and disturbing. Discovered this back in the ’90s on The Crow: City of Angels soundtrack. That was “Knock Me Out” by Grace Slick and Linda Perry.

Smile just before you cry

Don’t you go

I can take the fight

But don’t

Don’t you turn away

Such a painful tune to listen to.

So why not follow with another sad one I’ve loved for many years:

Songs can take on new significance in each phase in life we pass through.

Here’s one I haven’t heard in a long while:

That was Tricky and the Gravediggaz, also from The Crow: City of Angels soundtrack (1995). Getting nostalgic for that album now (never was much of a fan of the movies though). Been a long time since I listened to it and am going to have to search my CD case tomorrow to see if I still have my copy.

Reflecting further on that album tonight, here’s Korn’s “Sean Olson”:

Hmmm. I purchased that album when I was 14 or 15 and listened to it over and over. Can’t remember what that last song made me feel or think back then, but undoubtedly it left its mark along with all the rest. Pretty disturbing song now, re-listening to it for the first time in many years. Huh. It brings to mind a very different storyline and sexual imagery today than it could have back then. And I can see these lyrics being taken a number of ways, including literal sadistic perversion.

The joys of examining art, fucked up as much of it is.

Yet another song from that same album, this being Filter’s “Jurassitol”:

That’s just fine, just leave it like that

Bust your wallet while I break my back

Save your life with your life support

You know me I’ll pick up that

Hey old man, got something for you

Hey old man, got a real good tip

Something’s wrong and I guess you called it

Thanks a lot because now I own it

That song stays with me. Very interesting now looking up the lyrics, seeing as how my hearing (and comprehension) isn’t the greatest and that was back before the internet as we know it nowadays. Funny how much a difference a decade makes in today’s world — many kids today grew up with computers and this crazy internet. When I was a teenager, every time I hopped on a friend’s desktop (dial-up connected) and did a search, the results always seemed to lead to porn.  ha  So until the year 2000 when I purchased my own computer (at age 18 during my freshman year in college), all I understood of computers is that they have games on them (like Oregon Trail and some simplistic Star Wars-like one, controlled by keyboard arrow keys) and my stepdad worked on one, then they got fancy and became a gateway to tons of porn. That had been my experience anyway. Then e-commerce broke out shortly before I plugged my overpriced (financed) Dell into the dorm’s T1 connection, and I never looked back. Whole new online world unfolded from there on as everyone and their grandmas found their way online. Amazing to think I’m speaking of a mere 13 years ago.

Fast times we live in now. Very fast. Neck-breaking even. Can’t possibly keep up with all that’s happening around us, and never before have humans been bombarded with this frickin’ much information and stimulation. Truly mind-blowing when ya stop and consider where we as a species are standing right now. Brings to mind something I read:

“If we don’t change our direction we’re likely to end up where we’re headed.”  ~  Chinese Proverb

It looks to me our first destination will be hell, and if people manage to survive that and learn from it, perhaps someday the creation of something resembling heaven will become possible. But it depends on how heaven and hell may be defined — looks different to us all. What strikes me as hellish others are eager to defend and promote. *shrugs* Consider me obsolete then.

Leaving aside what religions have to say on the matter, heaven and hell are completely relative, and it appears what I imagine as a heaven on earth has already come and gone long, long before my lifetime (in select cultures during periods of whatever length). Heaven and hell are not permanent states or conditions in my view but rather fates determined by various factors, a major one of which is our own consciousness and our subsequent actions and behaviors.

A collective  can never be made moral. Individuals may strive and reckon with morality, and they indeed have influence on and each compose wider collectives, but the choices ultimately wind up residing within each individual. Yet we are impacted by others and by the environment(s) we grow up within. So which comes first, the person changing in the face of a culture and a society working against such changes (thereby confronting the risk of ostracism and persecution, or even prosecution in some cases)? Or the society and culture changing so as to exert a healthier influence on the members therein, in hopes of giving rise to higher quality individuals with a greater respect for virtue? It’s a paradox since both sides depend on one another. No person is an island within a society, just as any society is determined by the people within it. And around and around it goes.

If the society turns toxic, the people wind up damaged. Damaged people have a harder time first finding a better path and then maintaining their devotion to it, most especially if external forces are working against such endeavors (for example, titillating advertising intended to appeal to base desires or facing disapproval from peers when one winds up seeming like a stone drag for not going along with what they consider a “normal” program). And if the people can’t break away in the face of all the pressures and propaganda to look for themselves and then act in accordance with what they come to see, then societal “progress” will continue unhindered in its current trajectory. As society rolls on in this way, people are losing power, having forfeited control over the reins, so it’s any wonder what effective action someday may be possible, particularly with the advent of technologies capable of monitoring more and more of our communications in order to sniff out rebellions before they have a chance to significantly take effect.

People know what they’re up against, hence why so many choose to remain quiet and avoid being branded a rabble-rouser. People’d rather keep their friends and their jobs and not be thought of as kooky. Conformity is reinforced on three levels: through memes and propaganda promoted in the media and popular culture (as well as biases passed along as if facts within the educational system), through interpersonal influences and pressures, and within each individual based on what all we’ve internalized.

I’m not sure how we can get outside of this circular conundrum at this stage in the game other than by looking into our own selves, that being where the seed must be planted and nurtured into sprouting.

Says someone playing the part of a lazy devil at this juncture. Returning to the tunes…

A song I’ve loved for about a decade:

That was Angelo Badalamenti and Jimmy Scott performing the song “Sycamore Trees” for the Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me soundtrack.

Another dark, solemn melody, but what drama! Such a beautifully evocative song. The lyrics are kept simple enough that the sounds can sweep you along, letting it flow in and out and take on different meanings at different times. But always it is somber and heavy. Nevermind the movie (much as I do love the art that it is and own a copy — wasn’t as much a fan of the tv series); it’s an amazing song that shines on its own. What an incredible voice.

Here’s a song I’ve listened to often since age 13:

Positively love it. That was “Carly’s Song” by Enigma from the movie Sliver’s soundtrack, a film I watched quite a few times that year (1994-1995). Sharon Stone at her foxiest, IMO. Basically served as porn in my budding adolescence. What a sexy bathtub masturbation scene! But the idea of technology capable of spying on people within a building, including within their own units without their knowledge — that notion has permanently etched the film into my imagination and psyche.

Another song included on the Sliver soundtrack, Heaven 17’s “Penthouse and Pavement”:

That was a 1981 performance.

Here comes the daylight, here comes my job
Uptown in the penthouse or downtown with the mob
Here comes the night time, here comes my role
Goodbye to the pavement, hello to my soul

Now here comes my job
Credit, bleeding with the mob
Dreams become ideals
No one knows the way I feel
Love to love
Daytime, right time
All my life, yeah
All my life, yeah
All my life, yeah

As you face the wall
Gotta make it this time or never at all
Before your chance has gone
Captain this lead role and you’ll be the one
Shine and shine
This time, my time
Make me free at last
Make me free at last
Make me free at last

Now taking the time to read the lyrics and watching them perform on stage (love their chemistry), I appreciate that song all the more.

That’s enough for one night.

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